Religious storm building at home
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
06-03-2014, 10:50 AM
RE: Religious storm building at home
(13-02-2014 03:02 PM)Minimalist Wrote:  Oh. Louisiana.

[Image: louisiana-monkeys.jpeg]


My sympathies.

More like "evidence" instead of "science."
Dodgy

[Image: v0jpzpT.png]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Alex_Leonardo's post
06-03-2014, 10:54 AM
RE: Religious storm building at home
(06-03-2014 10:48 AM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  I'm sorry to hear that. Hug

Seek individual counseling for you and especially the kids. It can't be easy living in that atmosphere Sad

They will offer some ways to cope, and help you plan the next steps for your family. And help you each find ways of healing from the hurts each of you have and how to handle issues in future relationships. Your marriage might be over, but don't let it spoil future relationships.

Many Hug to you. Heart

I hope you keep us updated and know you can vent here too.

My oldest tried and refuses to continue, my second is in cousouling, never tired anything with my son. I am not interested in going for myself.

It is not easy living in my house.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
06-03-2014, 11:04 AM
RE: Religious storm building at home
(06-03-2014 09:00 AM)wazzel Wrote:  How does one approach the subject when you think your kids are athiest with a very religious mom/wife. I would love to talk to the kids about this, but not until I have talked to my wife.

Seeing that yesterday was ash wednesday and kind of a big deal for my wife. The kids commented to me that she was the only one that cared. Which was true.

Back to this-your kids are already discussing it with you. your kids have already discussed it with each other and are in agreement with each other for the most part. They know that you and mom are on different sides of the religion coin and they have already made camp with you. That is why they feel comfortable talking about it in that manner. While you may have wanted to discuss it with your wife first, the kids want to discuss it with you. In these moments, just start asking questions about their opinions.

I would talk with them individually about religion, and with it being Easter there is probably plenty of opportunities to direct a conversation there. Find out just exactly where they are. When shit does hit the fan with your wife it will be better to know where they stood before the fallout. And it will pave the way for future discussions which will happen eventually.

Also, knowing where they stand might direct your conversation with your wife differently than you first thought. There might be an element that you hadn't considered in regards to the kids.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Bows and Arrows's post
06-03-2014, 11:13 AM
RE: Religious storm building at home
Are your daughters old enough to handle noodling around a site like this? They can ask their own questions without involving you.

Atheism is NOT a Religion. It's A Personal Relationship With Reality!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
06-03-2014, 12:15 PM
RE: Religious storm building at home
(06-03-2014 11:04 AM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  
(06-03-2014 09:00 AM)wazzel Wrote:  How does one approach the subject when you think your kids are athiest with a very religious mom/wife. I would love to talk to the kids about this, but not until I have talked to my wife.

Seeing that yesterday was ash wednesday and kind of a big deal for my wife. The kids commented to me that she was the only one that cared. Which was true.

Back to this-your kids are already discussing it with you. your kids have already discussed it with each other and are in agreement with each other for the most part. They know that you and mom are on different sides of the religion coin and they have already made camp with you. That is why they feel comfortable talking about it in that manner. While you may have wanted to discuss it with your wife first, the kids want to discuss it with you. In these moments, just start asking questions about their opinions.

I would talk with them individually about religion, and with it being Easter there is probably plenty of opportunities to direct a conversation there. Find out just exactly where they are. When shit does hit the fan with your wife it will be better to know where they stood before the fallout. And it will pave the way for future discussions which will happen eventually.

Also, knowing where they stand might direct your conversation with your wife differently than you first thought. There might be an element that you hadn't considered in regards to the kids.

We do talk religion in general, but I have not specifically told them how I feel. They all know I have major issues with religion, but not that I have rejected it totally. I tend to give non-commital answers. I really do not want the kids going to my wife and telling her she is full of crap and dad is an athiest. They would.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
06-03-2014, 12:15 PM
RE: Religious storm building at home
(06-03-2014 11:13 AM)Minimalist Wrote:  Are your daughters old enough to handle noodling around a site like this? They can ask their own questions without involving you.

They probably could, they might be for all I know. I would be concerned about mom finding out and freaking out on them.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
12-03-2014, 11:40 AM
RE: Religious storm building at home
Well it started. Something happened at my kids school that set me on a low key rant last night. Basically the science teacher made a disclaimer before she started the lecture on evolution. Somthing along the lines of I know you all believe in creation but I have to teach this anyway. Once all the kids went to bed my wife asked me to lighten up on comming down on comments like that. Without getting into a blow by blow breakdown. I let her know my displeasure with the catholic church and the rest of the US christian denominations with out getting hateful or climbing the soapbox. She was not happy, but she accepted my stance. She also did not freak out when I told her I was not interested in ever going back to church and I was not going to force the kids to do something I was not willing to do. It went much better than I though it would go. Granted not everything came out, but with my wife you need to take baby steps sometimes. Some progress is better then no progress.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like wazzel's post
12-03-2014, 06:18 PM
RE: Religious storm building at home
(12-03-2014 11:40 AM)wazzel Wrote:  Well it started. Something happened at my kids school that set me on a low key rant last night. Basically the science teacher made a disclaimer before she started the lecture on evolution. Somthing along the lines of I know you all believe in creation but I have to teach this anyway. Once all the kids went to bed my wife asked me to lighten up on comming down on comments like that. Without getting into a blow by blow breakdown. I let her know my displeasure with the catholic church and the rest of the US christian denominations with out getting hateful or climbing the soapbox. She was not happy, but she accepted my stance. She also did not freak out when I told her I was not interested in ever going back to church and I was not going to force the kids to do something I was not willing to do. It went much better than I though it would go. Granted not everything came out, but with my wife you need to take baby steps sometimes. Some progress is better then no progress.

I guess I have to ask: aren't you on equal footing with your wife? What I mean is: why is it only that she can decide what religion or philosophy the kids are taught? Why can't both be exposed to the kids equally?

If she finds atheism threatening to her faith, well, A faith is not very strong if the mere exposure to something else might bring it all down.

My hubs and I don't have kids yet, but we are working on it. He is catholic, and wants to raise the kids with religion. I am okay with this, but I also have equal say in them being exposed to life without religion.

Why can't you assert your rights to raise your kids with your values too?

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day - Bill Watterson
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Cathym112's post
13-03-2014, 06:25 AM
RE: Religious storm building at home
(12-03-2014 06:18 PM)Cathym112 Wrote:  
(12-03-2014 11:40 AM)wazzel Wrote:  Well it started. Something happened at my kids school that set me on a low key rant last night. Basically the science teacher made a disclaimer before she started the lecture on evolution. Somthing along the lines of I know you all believe in creation but I have to teach this anyway. Once all the kids went to bed my wife asked me to lighten up on comming down on comments like that. Without getting into a blow by blow breakdown. I let her know my displeasure with the catholic church and the rest of the US christian denominations with out getting hateful or climbing the soapbox. She was not happy, but she accepted my stance. She also did not freak out when I told her I was not interested in ever going back to church and I was not going to force the kids to do something I was not willing to do. It went much better than I though it would go. Granted not everything came out, but with my wife you need to take baby steps sometimes. Some progress is better then no progress.

I guess I have to ask: aren't you on equal footing with your wife? What I mean is: why is it only that she can decide what religion or philosophy the kids are taught? Why can't both be exposed to the kids equally?

If she finds atheism threatening to her faith, well, A faith is not very strong if the mere exposure to something else might bring it all down.

My hubs and I don't have kids yet, but we are working on it. He is catholic, and wants to raise the kids with religion. I am okay with this, but I also have equal say in them being exposed to life without religion.

Why can't you assert your rights to raise your kids with your values too?

We are, but I have not been open about my feelings on religion to her. I have kept them to myself for a bit of family peace. We have other issuse and this would have been one more I had to deal with. She still does not know the full extent of my feelings. I am reluctant to let her know at this time.

Not sure if she does feel threatened and if so how much? Having a hard time judging.

When we got married and through most of the time we have been married we were both religious. I was in the choir and all that stuff. I have been drifting out and she has been moving in for a while. I had continued to go to church with her for a while, but stopped participating a few years back. What happened this week really needed to happen sine I could no longer show up and listen to some of the crap.

The kids get lots of my views, but no direct there is no god comments. We have topical discussion as a family every night at the dinner table. Politics, religion, science, etc. Nothing is off the table, so to speak. We have been talking a lot about the current political issues and lots about how wrong religious people are for looking to be allowed to discriminate, etc.

My marriage situation is complicated.....
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
13-03-2014, 06:40 AM
RE: Religious storm building at home
(12-03-2014 11:40 AM)wazzel Wrote:  Well it started. Something happened at my kids school that set me on a low key rant last night. Basically the science teacher made a disclaimer before she started the lecture on evolution. Somthing along the lines of I know you all believe in creation but I have to teach this anyway. Once all the kids went to bed my wife asked me to lighten up on comming down on comments like that. Without getting into a blow by blow breakdown. I let her know my displeasure with the catholic church and the rest of the US christian denominations with out getting hateful or climbing the soapbox. She was not happy, but she accepted my stance. She also did not freak out when I told her I was not interested in ever going back to church and I was not going to force the kids to do something I was not willing to do. It went much better than I though it would go. Granted not everything came out, but with my wife you need to take baby steps sometimes. Some progress is better then no progress.

I replied to this yesterday, but I think the forum issues made it disappear. Consider

Anyway.....

I'm glad you got it out there, even if it wasn't everything. Now its not brewing in a dark shadow somewhere and the ice is broken and more conversations can follow building on what you discussed.

Also, glad that she took it better than you expected. Baby steps. Many people walk away from religion by leaving small things a little at a time. (stop sunday school, then stop weekly church attendance, then stop holiday attendance,) they build and grow on each other. In a year when you look back you can see how far you have come.

happy for you. do you feel a bit of stress relief?


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: