Religious storm building at home
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23-05-2014, 07:30 AM
RE: Religious storm building at home
(23-05-2014 07:23 AM)Chas Wrote:  
(23-05-2014 06:41 AM)wazzel Wrote:  I think my wife it trying to work on me in small ways. I noticed a note she put on the bedroom mirror that was not there before. It reads. "Live without god and there will be destruction".

My car is in the shop so she had to pick me up from work and she had her phone plugged in playing modern christian music.

Nothing confrontational.

No, just passive-aggressive.

She is known for that.
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23-05-2014, 07:36 AM
RE: Religious storm building at home
How would she feel if you left a copy of Dawkin's God Delusion laying around the place?
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23-05-2014, 08:04 AM
RE: Religious storm building at home
(23-05-2014 07:23 AM)Chas Wrote:  
(23-05-2014 06:41 AM)wazzel Wrote:  I think my wife it trying to work on me in small ways. I noticed a note she put on the bedroom mirror that was not there before. It reads. "Live without god and there will be destruction".

My car is in the shop so she had to pick me up from work and she had her phone plugged in playing modern christian music.

Nothing confrontational.

No, just passive-aggressive.

the note would bother me more than the music.

I say that only because I go thru different phases, about once a year I go thru a country music phase, my husband isn't normally in my car, when I turn on the car, the music goes on, I'm happy and its not usually till I'm 3-4 songs in that I even think about his taste in music. I'm just in my own groove, and happy, and too busy focused on driving to think about everyone else. I figure if it bothers him he will speak up or ask to change or make it known somehow.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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23-05-2014, 08:13 AM
RE: Religious storm building at home
(23-05-2014 07:36 AM)Mathilda Wrote:  How would she feel if you left a copy of Dawkin's God Delusion laying around the place?

I am sure it would make he unhappy. I have not told her I am an athiest, but have told her I do not want to set foot in a church of any kind, ever. Of cource I had to back track a little on that and make exceptions for wedding, funerials and stuff like that. But other than that never.

Easter was the first test of that. She wanted to know what mass I wanted to go to and I responded with "none". We did not go. I told her she could go and take the kids if she wanted, but I was going to stay home.
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23-05-2014, 08:15 AM
RE: Religious storm building at home
(23-05-2014 08:04 AM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  
(23-05-2014 07:23 AM)Chas Wrote:  No, just passive-aggressive.

the note would bother me more than the music.

I say that only because I go thru different phases, about once a year I go thru a country music phase, my husband isn't normally in my car, when I turn on the car, the music goes on, I'm happy and its not usually till I'm 3-4 songs in that I even think about his taste in music. I'm just in my own groove, and happy, and too busy focused on driving to think about everyone else. I figure if it bothers him he will speak up or ask to change or make it known somehow.

The notes are not out of charter for her. She has done it for a while and I think they are for her, not me. It was on "her side" of the mirror. She has some in her car and other places here and there. If it would have been on "my side" I might have talked to her about it.
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23-05-2014, 08:20 AM
RE: Religious storm building at home
(23-05-2014 08:13 AM)wazzel Wrote:  I am sure it would make he unhappy. I have not told her I am an athiest, but have told her I do not want to set foot in a church of any kind, ever. Of cource I had to back track a little on that and make exceptions for wedding, funerials and stuff like that. But other than that never.

Easter was the first test of that. She wanted to know what mass I wanted to go to and I responded with "none". We did not go. I told her she could go and take the kids if she wanted, but I was going to stay home.

reading this a thought came to mind.....

for many attending church on holidays, and weekly service becomes a 'family' activity, that is planned and regularly occurring. Now that you have removed yourself from church activities, is there something you do as a family unit on a some what regular basis? game night, evening walk, saturday breakfast out, rent a movie night. just a family thing that bonds you as a group together?


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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23-05-2014, 08:45 AM
RE: Religious storm building at home
(23-05-2014 08:20 AM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  
(23-05-2014 08:13 AM)wazzel Wrote:  I am sure it would make he unhappy. I have not told her I am an athiest, but have told her I do not want to set foot in a church of any kind, ever. Of cource I had to back track a little on that and make exceptions for wedding, funerials and stuff like that. But other than that never.

Easter was the first test of that. She wanted to know what mass I wanted to go to and I responded with "none". We did not go. I told her she could go and take the kids if she wanted, but I was going to stay home.

reading this a thought came to mind.....

for many attending church on holidays, and weekly service becomes a 'family' activity, that is planned and regularly occurring. Now that you have removed yourself from church activities, is there something you do as a family unit on a some what regular basis? game night, evening walk, saturday breakfast out, rent a movie night. just a family thing that bonds you as a group together?

We do not have scheduled events, but we do spend lots of time together. It could be a board game, cards, movie night, fishing, dinner out, etc, etc, etc. It is not like the only time we ever did anything as a family was church.
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23-05-2014, 09:20 AM
RE: Religious storm building at home
(23-05-2014 06:41 AM)wazzel Wrote:  ...
"Live without god and there will be destruction".
...

As an irreverent side note...

I can't help thinking that Without God would make a great Metal band name.

Hence (with corrected grammar):
Live!
Without God
... and there will be destruction.

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19-08-2014, 06:23 AM
RE: Religious storm building at home
Well........... we are not on the issue of catholic confirmation. Our oldest is the age that most kids go through confirmation classes. My oldest is really not interested. My wife is really upset about it and wants me to help her force my oldest to go. We had a discussion about it last night. I got hit with the "we are failing them spiritually" angle. My response was along the lines of. I will support them if they want to participate. I will not force them to do it. Confirmation is supposed to be an adult sacrament and you don't force adults. If you want to force her to go I will yell at her to get out the door on time, but it will not be with a good heart.

I also tried to explain to my wife what kind of position she is putting me in. She is asking me to force my kids to do something she does not want to do with an organization I do not agree with. That point really did not do anything. She just looked at me funny. I do not even remember what she said at that point. I was starting to get frustrated. Now that the my oldest is in high school I feel it is time for her to start following her own path.

I also got called a hypocrite, which she knows bothers me, since we have our kids in catholic school. I had to re-explain to her this was a compromise so our kids could get the best education possible in the town we live in. Also had to re-explain that if there was a non-religious option for school that was as good it would be where our kids would go.
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19-08-2014, 06:47 AM
RE: Religious storm building at home
I haven't read all of the comments, so this may have been said already.

First, kudos for putting up with everything I've read. I love my husband, but I'd have been out long ago, kids or no kids.

Was your wife like this when you got married? Were YOU like this when you got married?

"Not liking" the marriage counsellor is a cop out. I'm sure there isn't JUST ONE therapist you can see. She needs to make a better effort.

If introducing an idea of a different belief or lack of belief system is enough for you to fear divorce, I think that says more than any of us could.

Wifey needs to nut up and deal with things like an adult instead of blaming OH LAWDY THE DEBIL when things don't go her way.

I really hope things turn out for the best for you.
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