Remembering Nishi
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08-05-2016, 11:37 PM (This post was last modified: 09-05-2016 12:44 AM by Thumpalumpacus.)
RE: Remembering Nishi
(05-05-2016 10:09 PM)jennybee Wrote:  *hugs* I think all of us our having doubts about what we could have done differently. I wish I never left to go on my yoga retreat. I wish I was here for him instead. I wish I could go back in time and change everything because then maybe he'd still be here. I keep replaying our last conversation over in my head.

One of the most valuable things I've learnt in recovery is the principle of living in the Now.

The past is unchangeable, and the future is uncertain. Steer each moment towards your goal, but don't invest energy in what cannot be controlled.

I know you were close, and I grieve for you and his other close friends here, but bemoaning what you didn't do in the face of incomplete information and total lack of control is, in my mind, being unfair to yourselves. Rather than that, find solace in the fact that y'all made his last days richer, hon.
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08-05-2016, 11:41 PM
RE: Remembering Nishi
(08-05-2016 05:06 PM)Banjo Wrote:  I just quoted this in a PM. From Paradise lost.

All is not lost; the unconquerable Will,
And study of revenge, immortal hate,
And courage never to submit or yield:
And what is else not to be overcome?


We will carry on.

Regardless the cost. Weeping

... and my thoughts upon reflection, which reflect the fact that I didn't share your closeness but I do share your loss --

John Donne Wrote:


No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.
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08-05-2016, 11:54 PM
RE: Remembering Nishi
Indeed.

You too, are my friend. I am beside you in your struggle.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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09-05-2016, 12:42 AM
RE: Remembering Nishi
We all are, Banjy. We all are.

Dylan Thomas comes to mind, too.
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09-05-2016, 09:49 AM
RE: Remembering Nishi
(08-05-2016 11:41 PM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  
(08-05-2016 05:06 PM)Banjo Wrote:  I just quoted this in a PM. From Paradise lost.

All is not lost; the unconquerable Will,
And study of revenge, immortal hate,
And courage never to submit or yield:
And what is else not to be overcome?


We will carry on.

Regardless the cost. Weeping

... and my thoughts upon reflection, which reflect the fact that I didn't share your closeness but I do share your loss --

John Donne Wrote:


No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

I love that poem. I quoted the first line to my teenage children many times especially when they thought their little self centered teen world didn't affect others.

Nishi's life rippled over the lives of TTA and it was wonderful. It's hard say but it could be that we, here on this forum, gave Nishi a few more months of life. We certainly didn't cut it shorter than it would have been. We gave him an outlet that he didn't have and it aided and added more time for him to spend with his daughter who now lives with perhaps better memories of her father.

We should all be proud of this.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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09-05-2016, 08:02 PM
RE: Remembering Nishi
Somehow this stuck in my mind today.




[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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09-05-2016, 09:11 PM
RE: Remembering Nishi




Ironically, this aired the evening that Nishi is believed to have died. Nishi chose to spend his time here with us. He laughed with us, got to know us, and loved being here. Even though we've never met face-to-face, Nishi was important to us. When you spend time getting to know someone and you genuinely care about them, it can really feel that you're at the center of the blast.
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10-05-2016, 01:07 AM (This post was last modified: 10-05-2016 01:14 AM by Thumpalumpacus.)
RE: Remembering Nishi
(09-05-2016 09:49 AM)dancefortwo Wrote:  I love that poem. I quoted the first line to my teenage children many times especially when they thought their little self centered teen world didn't affect others.

I've recited it a few times to my now-18-year-old son as he was growing up, either for the first line as you did -- to help him understand that the illusion of strength is actually a weakness -- or for the latter stages, addressing the community of life and humanity, how we are all tied together.

It's a poem I first read three decades ago, and still it makes me leak a little when I ponder it.

(09-05-2016 09:49 AM)dancefortwo Wrote:  Nishi's life rippled over the lives of TTA and it was wonderful. It's hard say but it could be that we, here on this forum, gave Nishi a few more months of life. We certainly didn't cut it shorter than it would have been. We gave him an outlet that he didn't have and it aided and added more time for him to spend with his daughter who now lives with perhaps better memories of her father.

We should all be proud of this.

It's possible, but depression has a cycle all its own. I don't doubt that his friends here gave him happiness in his last days; and I don't doubt that there was nothing anyone here could do to change his course.

Put another way -- take every opportunity you find to make those you love and care for happy. It's a noble and worthwhile goal.
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10-05-2016, 06:39 AM
RE: Remembering Nishi
(10-05-2016 01:07 AM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  
(09-05-2016 09:49 AM)dancefortwo Wrote:  I love that poem. I quoted the first line to my teenage children many times especially when they thought their little self centered teen world didn't affect others.

I've recited it a few times to my now-18-year-old son as he was growing up, either for the first line as you did -- to help him understand that the illusion of strength is actually a weakness -- or for the latter stages, addressing the community of life and humanity, how we are all tied together.

It's a poem I first read three decades ago, and still it makes me leak a little when I ponder it.

(09-05-2016 09:49 AM)dancefortwo Wrote:  Nishi's life rippled over the lives of TTA and it was wonderful. It's hard say but it could be that we, here on this forum, gave Nishi a few more months of life. We certainly didn't cut it shorter than it would have been. We gave him an outlet that he didn't have and it aided and added more time for him to spend with his daughter who now lives with perhaps better memories of her father.

We should all be proud of this.

It's possible, but depression has a cycle all its own. I don't doubt that his friends here gave him happiness in his last days; and I don't doubt that there was nothing anyone here could do to change his course.

Put another way -- take every opportunity you find to make those you love and care for happy. It's a noble and worthwhile goal.

Do we actually know that he had clinical depression? It's news to me.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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10-05-2016, 06:43 AM
RE: Remembering Nishi
(10-05-2016 06:39 AM)Dom Wrote:  Do we actually know that he had clinical depression? It's news to me.

Yes. I know for a fact. We spoke about it often.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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