Reminiscences of a lapsed Catholic boy
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04-04-2015, 09:48 PM
Reminiscences of a lapsed Catholic boy
Tomorrow is Easter. I have very vivid memories of Easter mass for the following reasons.

I never liked going to church, it was long and tedious with commands to sit, kneel, stand, kneel...Jesus H. Christ the priest couldn’t make up his mind. Anyway, the way I saw it I had two days on the weekend for myself and because of church half of Sunday was shot. To say I resented being dragged to mass is an understatement.

To make things even worse when communion was offered and I didn’t participate because I had sinned (probably played with myself while looking at Playboy) I got the evil eye from the other parishoners and my parents were sorely embarrassed for me, what kind of parents don’t make their son go to confession anyway?

Back to Easter mass. On Easter the church would be jammed packed, at least four times the number of people as any other Sunday and year after year the parish priest would make a snide remark about how he didn’t remember seeing all of the attendees at last Sunday’s mass or some such snark. My parents would echo the sentiment on the drive back home and I really disliked all those people only showing up for Easter and Christmas mass.

All these years later I think my resentment emanated from the fact that I too wanted to show up only twice a year and still earn my way into Heaven. I mean why the fuck should all these part time Catholics get to the same Heaven I was going to when they hadn’t suffered through all the agonizing hours, week after week, listening to the same bullshit stories that I had?

If God let them in I was going to be pissed. Such were the thoughts of a teenager so many years ago.

Hadn’t thought about that stuff in a long time.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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04-04-2015, 10:04 PM
RE: Reminiscences of a lapsed Catholic boy
Easter Sunday meant that I would be getting my one pair of dress shoes for the year...worn only to church, of course. Mostly I daydreamed and looked around the church at the art and stained glass. Easter mass lasted for-freaking-ever, especially back in the days of the Latin mass.

I will never forget the god-awful yellow dress I had to wear for Easter when I was nine or ten. I hated yellow then and still hate it now. Somewhere is a photo of me in that dress, with my mom-induced pixie haircut, little ankle socks and white patent leather shoes. I am sitting on a folding chair in the kitchen and my expression pretty much summed up how disgusted I was with my stupid Easter attire. Dodgy

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04-04-2015, 10:15 PM
RE: Reminiscences of a lapsed Catholic boy
There has to be a Mass-turbatory joke in there somewhere but I can't find it.

I can sympathise, FC, but I'm struggling to empathise because I never had to endure that pain.

I was raised in a mainly C+E area (Christmas and Easter).

I attended one catholic event when my cousin married a catholic (she married the son of Henri of Henri Lloyd... I'm guessing you've heard of them) and it was ... what're the right words... laughably absurd.

Her father worked at Cadbury in Birmingham so Easter for us children was about the dozens and dozens of cream eggs that were shipped to us.

Did the catholics have a Harvest Festival? I used to enjoy that one. Giving our past-expiry date tins of stuff to starving people seemed like a worthy thing to do.

Smile

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04-04-2015, 10:30 PM
RE: Reminiscences of a lapsed Catholic boy
(04-04-2015 10:15 PM)DLJ Wrote:  There has to be a Mass-turbatory joke in there somewhere but I can't find it.

I can sympathise, FC, but I'm struggling to empathise because I never had to endure that pain.

I was raised in a mainly C+E area (Christmas and Easter).

I attended one catholic event when my cousin married a catholic (she married the son of Henri of Henri Lloyd... I'm guessing you've heard of them) and it was ... what're the right words... laughably absurd.

Her father worked at Cadbury in Birmingham so Easter for us children was about the dozens and dozens of cream eggs that were shipped to us.

Did the catholics have a Harvest Festival? I used to enjoy that one. Giving our past-expiry date tins of stuff to starving people seemed like a worthy thing to do.

Smile

I think of all the hours wasted being someplace I didn’t want to be...It has carried over into my adulthood. I have no problem walking out at the drop of the hat of a get together, party, a residence, or anywhere if I feel my time is being wasted. The last thing people hear is, “I have to go” and the last thing they see is my ass as I walk out the door. I’m at a place in my life that I don’t have to be anywhere I don’t want to be with some very minor exceptions.

What is a Catholic Harvest Festival look like? Priests gathering young boys in a rite of Spring for deflowering?

Henri Lloyd...nope, no idea.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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04-04-2015, 10:31 PM
RE: Reminiscences of a lapsed Catholic boy
(04-04-2015 10:04 PM)Anjele Wrote:  I am sitting on a folding chair in the kitchen and my expression pretty much summed up how disgusted I was with my stupid Easter attire. Dodgy

[Image: disapproval.gif]

Wink

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04-04-2015, 10:36 PM
RE: Reminiscences of a lapsed Catholic boy
(04-04-2015 10:31 PM)EvolutionKills Wrote:  
(04-04-2015 10:04 PM)Anjele Wrote:  I am sitting on a folding chair in the kitchen and my expression pretty much summed up how disgusted I was with my stupid Easter attire. Dodgy

[Image: disapproval.gif]

Wink

That's the look!

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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05-04-2015, 02:20 AM
RE: Reminiscences of a lapsed Catholic boy
(04-04-2015 10:30 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  ...
Henri Lloyd...nope, no idea.

Designer fish stuff:

[Image: henri-lloyd-x-oi-polloi-sailing-jackets-1.jpg]

I guess you prefer to just wear rubber.

Drinking Beverage

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05-04-2015, 02:24 AM
RE: Reminiscences of a lapsed Catholic boy
(05-04-2015 02:20 AM)DLJ Wrote:  
(04-04-2015 10:30 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  ...
Henri Lloyd...nope, no idea.

Designer fish stuff:

[Image: henri-lloyd-x-oi-polloi-sailing-jackets-1.jpg]

I guess you prefer to just wear rubber.

Drinking Beverage

Yeah, because the fish care what you're wearing... Rolleyes

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05-04-2015, 04:54 AM
RE: Reminiscences of a lapsed Catholic boy
I remember skipping church two easters when I was younger than 10, the spring air and flowers and all that just made me feel like running around outdoors. My parents didn't go, they just sent us off to church.

Looking back, that was likely when I first started disconnecting from the church, it had lost it's imperative importance and I skipped, had fun, and lived. Tongue

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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05-04-2015, 05:31 AM
RE: Reminiscences of a lapsed Catholic boy
(05-04-2015 04:54 AM)Dom Wrote:  I remember skipping church two easters when I was younger than 10, the spring air and flowers and all that just made me feel like running around outdoors.
...

You and Anj are giving me flashbacks to childhood TV!

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