Reminiscences of a lapsed Catholic boy
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05-04-2015, 06:46 AM
RE: Reminiscences of a lapsed Catholic boy
It wasn't a whole lot different in the Pentecostal household I grew up in. We went every Sunday, so Easter was just another boring day at church, except we got to hunt for Easter eggs and eat chocolate, which made it better than other Sundays.

The service was always the worst part of the day. It's great to have zero obligation to show up for a service today, but the restaurants will be absolutely swamped today, my plan is to stay away from those and not eat out,

Gods derive their power from post-hoc rationalizations. -The Inquisition

Using the supernatural to explain events in your life is a failure of the intellect to comprehend the world around you. -The Inquisition
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05-04-2015, 07:01 AM
RE: Reminiscences of a lapsed Catholic boy
(04-04-2015 09:48 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  To make things even worse when communion was offered and I didn’t participate because I had sinned

I empathize except that I did participate because the whole confession thing never made any sense to me. I figured it was none of their business and when I was dragged to confession I just made stuff up anyway.

Sometimes I tried to avoid communion just because the priest was half senile and often stuck his thumb on your tongue and it was pretty disgusting.

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05-04-2015, 08:15 AM
RE: Reminiscences of a lapsed Catholic boy
(05-04-2015 07:01 AM)unfogged Wrote:  
(04-04-2015 09:48 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  To make things even worse when communion was offered and I didn’t participate because I had sinned

I empathize except that I did participate because the whole confession thing never made any sense to me. I figured it was none of their business and when I was dragged to confession I just made stuff up anyway.

Sometimes I tried to avoid communion just because the priest was half senile and often stuck his thumb on your tongue and it was pretty disgusting.

Yuck, gross.

If I went to confession nowdays it might start out something like this:

"Forgive me father for I have sinned.
It has been about thirty-four years since my last confession to a priest, but I do confess to my wife every now and then.
It might be shorter if I just tell you what commandments I haven’t broken.
Or better yet that I have already apologized to the human beings I may have hurt by my actions and don’t give a rat’s ass about your imaginary friend or your intercession to him on my behalf.
Chances are you have a lot more to confess than I do so I can understand why you are hiding behind this confessional...pervert. Come to think of it as soon as we get out of this booth I’m going to kick your ass just in case.” Smile

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05-04-2015, 11:48 AM
RE: Reminiscences of a lapsed Catholic boy
I can outdo all of you!!!

I was raised a Catholic but stopped going to church when I was 13. But my last visit was memorable. I became an altar boy!!! I kid you not, but i did.

My cousin has always been deeply religious. He and his brothers had been altar boys for many years. On the last day I went to church. my cousin came to me and said "The priest wants to talk to you". Which was a great surprise to me. So i went into the vestry(??) and the priest said "Ah, our new altar boy is here". Yikes.

So, I put on the gear and tried the altar boy bit. For the most part, it went well. I remember one bit where we were kneeling and had to bow down three times but on the third time we had to stay down, I started to come up and my cousin stuck his arm out and pulled me back down. Neither of us could stop laughing.

Becoming an altar boy wasn't the reason I left the church. I actually enjoyed the experience. But mentally, I'd already left. Maybe it accelerated the process marginally because there was no way I was going to be an altar boy again.
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05-04-2015, 12:09 PM
RE: Reminiscences of a lapsed Catholic boy
(05-04-2015 11:48 AM)jockmcdock Wrote:  I can outdo all of you!!!

I was raised a Catholic but stopped going to church when I was 13. But my last visit was memorable. I became an altar boy!!! I kid you not, but i did.

My cousin has always been deeply religious. He and his brothers had been altar boys for many years. On the last day I went to church. my cousin came to me and said "The priest wants to talk to you". Which was a great surprise to me. So i went into the vestry(??) and the priest said "Ah, our new altar boy is here". Yikes.

So, I put on the gear and tried the altar boy bit. For the most part, it went well. I remember one bit where we were kneeling and had to bow down three times but on the third time we had to stay down, I started to come up and my cousin stuck his arm out and pulled me back down. Neither of us could stop laughing.

Becoming an altar boy wasn't the reason I left the church. I actually enjoyed the experience. But mentally, I'd already left. Maybe it accelerated the process marginally because there was no way I was going to be an altar boy again.

Half way through reading that I was poised to move the thread to the Personal Issues ans Support section!

I'm glad there was a happy ending.

I mean ... no ... not that kinda ... Blush sorry!

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05-04-2015, 12:14 PM
RE: Reminiscences of a lapsed Catholic boy
(05-04-2015 12:09 PM)DLJ Wrote:  Half way through reading that I was poised to move the thread to the Personal Issues ans Support section!

I'm still chuckling over that line.
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05-04-2015, 05:25 PM
RE: Reminiscences of a lapsed Catholic boy
Easter Sunday was pretty bad for me this year. But that's because I'm currently recovering from a hangover from the after vigil party at the rectory. Oh well I'll just offer my suffering to the Lord Smile

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09-04-2015, 04:02 AM
RE: Reminiscences of a lapsed Catholic boy
(05-04-2015 08:15 AM)Full Circle Wrote:  
(05-04-2015 07:01 AM)unfogged Wrote:  I empathize except that I did participate because the whole confession thing never made any sense to me. I figured it was none of their business and when I was dragged to confession I just made stuff up anyway.

Sometimes I tried to avoid communion just because the priest was half senile and often stuck his thumb on your tongue and it was pretty disgusting.

Yuck, gross.

If I went to confession nowdays it might start out something like this:

"Forgive me father for I have sinned.
It has been about thirty-four years since my last confession to a priest, but I do confess to my wife every now and then.
It might be shorter if I just tell you what commandments I haven’t broken.
Or better yet that I have already apologized to the human beings I may have hurt by my actions and don’t give a rat’s ass about your imaginary friend or your intercession to him on my behalf.
Chances are you have a lot more to confess than I do so I can understand why you are hiding behind this confessional...pervert. Come to think of it as soon as we get out of this booth I’m going to kick your ass just in case.” Smile
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09-04-2015, 04:13 AM
RE: Reminiscences of a lapsed Catholic boy
Ugh, I'm sorry you guys had to go through that crap Sad

I have a website here which discusses the issues and terminology surrounding religion and atheism. It's hopefully user friendly to all.
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09-04-2015, 05:16 AM
RE: Reminiscences of a lapsed Catholic boy
There's only one reason most teenage boys would willingly attend church....

A chance at some of the cute teenage girls that tend to show up.....

....

If you think about it - all you needed to do was add liquor and a spinning mirror ball on the ceiling and it'd be a pickup bar...


(at least in a better universe)....

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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