Rest in peace
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02-11-2014, 11:10 PM
RE: Rest in peace
(02-11-2014 10:36 PM)WillHopp Wrote:  Wow, never have I gotten so many responses so quickly to one of my posts! Some very interesting points.

Can of Beans and Logisch: I hope I didn't imply I was offended by RIP, just annoyed. And yes, "In a better place" is indeed very telling and ridiculous. Also, saying, "I hope YOU went peacefully" sounds awfully a lot like you're talking to this dead person as if they can hear you. What I would say, if pressed, is I hope he or she died peacefully. And, this is actually a different thing altogether really, because you are saying how they died, where as RIP means they are now resting in a peaceful state.

Stark: I agree with you in that I feel when people say it they are envisioning some sort of opportunity to relax now. I can't see that as anything but an afterlife, and that makes me cringe.

Anjele: Yes, people do say things automatically, and that makes me wonder if we shouldn't make a conscious effort to think about what we are saying. I refuse to say "bless you" anymore, and not because I'm an atheist, but because I actually did the research into why people say it and all of the ridiculous reasons, and they are all absolutely stupid. I might say "salute" because that means "to your health" in Italian, but other than that, "bless you" is off the table for me now. And I think this is the root of my thoughts on RIP.

Bucky: Actually, yes, I do think that's what they mean. I think most of the people saying it (not the ones who just say it because it's the thing to do) really envision souls and personalities now relieved of the stress of everyday life on earth and resting peacefully on some cloud or at the right hand of some made-up deity.

Ultimately, I think it must be religious in nature, so I will continue to cringe, but I won't mention it or make it a point of contention in my social circles.

I have no problem swapping "annoyed" for "offended" in my response. RIP doesn't do either for me. Smile

We're totally in agreement on "bless you" though. I solve the sneeze issue by saying "gesundheit." Even before I was an atheist I thought wishing someone good health after a sneeze made a lot more sense. Thumbsup

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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02-11-2014, 11:32 PM
RE: Rest in peace
(02-11-2014 09:54 PM)WillHopp Wrote:  Am I the only one who cringes at this saying? Am I being overly sensitive or ridiculous? To me, it implies the dead person has the opportunity to rest now, as in, there's an afterlife.

Saying "rest in peace" is doubly annoying to me because why say it? Do you really think the dead person knows you typed it on Facebook or mumbled it to your roommate? Are you trying to let the general public know you believe in fairy tales?

I don't see it as a show of respect, am I wrong?

I don't have a problem with it.

I have a bigger issue with "god needed an angel" or "so and so is with god now. "

Rest in peace to me just means don't be a dick and screw with the dead. Don't talk shit about them. If they were a bad person, treat them like they never existed. If they were nice or decent remember them kindly.

If their life was troubled, as so many people's lives are, I am happy (even if I do miss them) they don't have to suffer anymore.

And you're right, they'll never know you said it, or wrote it on fb. But family or friends will see it and they might be comforted to know so many cared.

Besides I always thought the term came from people who would grave rob.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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02-11-2014, 11:40 PM
RE: Rest in peace
I don't see a point in saying anything. It's not like the person "resting in peace" can hear me.
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02-11-2014, 11:49 PM
RE: Rest in peace
I don't mind RIP. I like it a whole lot better than saying something really stupid like "they're in a better place now."
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03-11-2014, 12:20 AM
RE: Rest in peace
(02-11-2014 11:49 PM)pablo Wrote:  I don't mind RIP. I like it a whole lot better than saying something really stupid like "they're in a better place now."

If "a better place" is six feet under then the world has really gone to shit.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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03-11-2014, 02:02 AM
RE: Rest in peace
It's usually addressed to the dead person, right?

There's no point talking to a dead person because they're fucking dead, so it's a waste of breath.
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03-11-2014, 03:49 AM (This post was last modified: 03-11-2014 03:53 AM by Dom.)
RE: Rest in peace
I must agree too. It's the one thing people would say about my husband's death that did not bother me. His death itself was peaceful and felt like exactly that - he was able to rest after what had become a major struggle. He looked at rest, he looked peaceful. It fit the situation. He had decided not to struggle anymore and rested. And that brought him peace. That didn't happen after he died, but in the days before he did, and it lasted through the process. Best way to go.

All the other comments made me cringe.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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03-11-2014, 04:24 AM
RE: Rest in peace
It is actually something directly connected to Christianity, although I personally don't mind it, and I agree with what the others have said.

Also keep in mind that even though we actually say it now, it was just an inscription on tombs centuries ago, and I don't think people actually said it out loud.

I really don't think anything is appropriate to say to someone who has lost a loved one. I much prefer epitaphs that honor the dead and help others remember who he/she was, which is the only thing the person has left behind.

"Behind every great pirate, there is a great butt."
-Guybrush Threepwood-
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03-11-2014, 04:36 AM
RE: Rest in peace
I'll bet half of you talk to your pets without thinking twice about it Tongue

The recipient of communication doesn't necessarily have to understand for it to serve a purpose to the one communicating or those around him/her. And as far as things people say to dead people, rest in peace is probably one of the more rational ones.

I've personally said things ranging from "rest easy," "thank you", and even "see you in Valhalla." Being more rational than all those irrational religious people doesn't make it easier to let go of a difficult loss. I'll say what makes me feel better, and while I might personally find some of the things others say to not be my first choice of words, it's not usually the proper time to be debating, and I'm not really part of the whole I'm offended culture anyway.

That said, I do joke about things people say in some contexts. George Carlin's "smiling down on us" routine was pretty damn funny. I encourage everyone who hasn't seen it to hit up YouTube immediately.

'Murican Canadian
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03-11-2014, 05:24 AM
RE: Rest in peace
Sure I talk to my pets. And, while they are not able to distinguish many words (contrary to popular belief) , they are masters in reading body language and intonation. They may not take away the specifics you said, but they get whether it's good or bad, action expected or not, and many other things that allow them to react appropriately. So there is that....

Anyway, some of the shit people will say when someone dies made me want to strangle them, anger is part of grief and boy did I have to watch myself not to explode.

But, RIP seemed to be perfectly fine with me. I was just happy it didn't contain the word "god". Tongue

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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