Revenge
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07-11-2015, 01:08 PM
Revenge
Another thread brought something up that reminded me of a series of incidents that happened when I was in the service.

It starts with a vending machine.

We had, in the barracks a beer machine. It was just a regular canned soda machine, filled with beer. Budwieser, Bud Lite, Miller, Miller Light, Olympia Gold or sometimes something good - like Heineken — although not all the time. A beer cost a quarter. It was actually cheaper than buying it at the exchange. (By like 50 cents a six pack). Not only was it cheap - it was kept extremely cold. So, you kept a pocket full of quarters - and you could be a happy camper.

There came a fly in the ointment.

His name was Dave Shelly. (Yup... I’m using his real name... the guy was really a fuckstick - and he deserves being outed)

He was straight out of boot camp - and 18 years old. At that time, the rules were – the drinking age on base would be the same as the state it was located in. We, being in California - observed a drinking age of 21.

Dave Shelly, did not. He got caught getting beer out of the vending machine - and was chastised for doing so. He wasn’t very bright – and got caught again, and again.... and again....

Rather than punishing him – they took away our beer machine. Anyone who’s been in the service knows why this is done. The “powers that be” are telling us – the peons – that we’re not doing a good job of disciplining our underlings – and it’s up to US the peons - to take care of things. It was up to US to instill in Dave Shelly, the error of his ways.

So, we did.

The first thing that happened - is his clothing, towel and room keys - would disappear out of the communal showers. So – he came down to the MAA office (master at arms – the guy in charge of the barracks) wrapped up in paper towels – looking for his clothes and keys... (they were found in his room..... imagine that)... The next two times it happened – the paper towel dispenser was “mysteriously” empty. His clothes and stuff were on the far side of the parking lot.

The next thing that happened - is he failed to show up at muster in the morning — (a punishable offense) – one of the other seamen was dispatched to find him. It turns out SOMEONE had tied a two by four to his doorknob with a tension hitch (trucker’s hitch) so tightly – he couldn’t open the door - which opened inward. He was on the second floor - and I guess he didn’t have the sack to jump out the window. .... After the third time it happened - he got restricted to base for 30 days. The “culprit” who rigged the door was never found.

Next - Dave had made the mistake of buying a new car. (I forget what model – some small domestic). He also made the mistake of leaving the windows open — and someone – or more likely several someones – used the car for a urinal.... When he closed the windows and locked the doors – they resorted to using the air intake forward of the windshield as the urinal. After a few hot days in the sun – he took to opening the windows during the day, and closing them at night. I’m betting the car still smells like a wino’s underwear....

Edit to add..... Then he made the mistake of leaving his laundry detergent in the laundry room, with his laundry in the machine - running unattended.... SOMEONE poured the entire contents of the detergent into the machine. The suds cascade was spectacular -- and took Dave hours to clean up.....

I could go on – but I think you get the drift.....


So – that’s one of my tales of revenge realized.

You got one??

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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07-11-2015, 02:25 PM
RE: Revenge
I've spent time dreaming of revenge, but never acted on it. My sister and I used to make elaborate revenge scenarios where we did stuff horrible things to the guy who broke up my parents' marriage (and cost my father his job in the process). One was abducting him, flying him to Africa, covering him with honey, and tying him to an anthill. We never did any of that, but it made us feel a little bit better.

Eventually he annoyed the wrong set of people, and he was murdered in the Alaskan wilderness. Happened a few years after he and my mother broke up. He was a nasty guy (convicted rapist, among other things). I can't say I was exactly sorry when I heard about what happened to him, but I did feel weird and not elated. I had stopped hating him at some point and just disliked and disrespected him by then. I'm glad he didn't get murdered when I was 15--not sure what feeling so happy at someone's death would have done to my personality.
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07-11-2015, 03:23 PM
RE: Revenge
All I've gotta say is don't play practical jokes on a firefighter.
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07-11-2015, 03:35 PM
RE: Revenge
(07-11-2015 01:08 PM)onlinebiker Wrote:  So – that’s one of my tales of revenge realized.

You got one??
Yeah, I don't think the military equip people very well for real life.

If I was this guy and found out who was pissing on my car and had no legal recourse, I'd do some serious harm to them.

All because this guy bought some beer from a beer machine. You guys are wankers!
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07-11-2015, 03:50 PM
RE: Revenge
(07-11-2015 01:08 PM)onlinebiker Wrote:  Another thread brought something up that reminded me of a series of incidents that happened when I was in the service.

It starts with a vending machine.

We had, in the barracks a beer machine. It was just a regular canned soda machine, filled with beer. Budwieser, Bud Lite, Miller, Miller Light, Olympia Gold or sometimes something good - like Heineken — although not all the time. A beer cost a quarter. It was actually cheaper than buying it at the exchange. (By like 50 cents a six pack). Not only was it cheap - it was kept extremely cold. So, you kept a pocket full of quarters - and you could be a happy camper.

There came a fly in the ointment.

His name was Dave Shelly. (Yup... I’m using his real name... the guy was really a fuckstick - and he deserves being outed)

He was straight out of boot camp - and 18 years old. At that time, the rules were – the drinking age on base would be the same as the state it was located in. We, being in California - observed a drinking age of 21.

Dave Shelly, did not. He got caught getting beer out of the vending machine - and was chastised for doing so. He wasn’t very bright – and got caught again, and again.... and again....

Rather than punishing him – they took away our beer machine. Anyone who’s been in the service knows why this is done. The “powers that be” are telling us – the peons – that we’re not doing a good job of disciplining our underlings – and it’s up to US the peons - to take care of things. It was up to US to instill in Dave Shelly, the error of his ways.

So, we did.

The first thing that happened - is his clothing, towel and room keys - would disappear out of the communal showers. So – he came down to the MAA office (master at arms – the guy in charge of the barracks) wrapped up in paper towels – looking for his clothes and keys... (they were found in his room..... imagine that)... The next two times it happened – the paper towel dispenser was “mysteriously” empty. His clothes and stuff were on the far side of the parking lot.

The next thing that happened - is he failed to show up at muster in the morning — (a punishable offense) – one of the other seamen was dispatched to find him. It turns out SOMEONE had tied a two by four to his doorknob with a tension hitch (trucker’s hitch) so tightly – he couldn’t open the door - which opened inward. He was on the second floor - and I guess he didn’t have the sack to jump out the window. .... After the third time it happened - he got restricted to base for 30 days. The “culprit” who rigged the door was never found.

Next - Dave had made the mistake of buying a new car. (I forget what model – some small domestic). He also made the mistake of leaving the windows open — and someone – or more likely several someones – used the car for a urinal.... When he closed the windows and locked the doors – they resorted to using the air intake forward of the windshield as the urinal. After a few hot days in the sun – he took to opening the windows during the day, and closing them at night. I’m betting the car still smells like a wino’s underwear....

Edit to add..... Then he made the mistake of leaving his laundry detergent in the laundry room, with his laundry in the machine - running unattended.... SOMEONE poured the entire contents of the detergent into the machine. The suds cascade was spectacular -- and took Dave hours to clean up.....

I could go on – but I think you get the drift.....


So – that’s one of my tales of revenge realized.

You got one??

I'm having a hard time imagining this 18 y/o kid being such an asshole to deserve what you did to him.

. . . ................................ ......................................... . [Image: 2dsmnow.gif] Eat at Joe's
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07-11-2015, 04:37 PM
RE: Revenge
Yup. I've always said that if you have a beef with someone take it up to his face. Never fuck with someone's property, especially their car. That's just a douche move. Have more respect for yourself than that.

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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07-11-2015, 06:52 PM
RE: Revenge
I guess you guys weren't in the service...

It's how it goes.

....

When you fuck up, and bring down the wrath of the command on everyone -- you get what's coming to you.....

.....

Talking nice to the stupid fuck, never works....

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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07-11-2015, 08:54 PM
RE: Revenge
(07-11-2015 06:52 PM)onlinebiker Wrote:  I guess you guys weren't in the service...

It's how it goes.

....

When you fuck up, and bring down the wrath of the command on everyone -- you get what's coming to you.....

.....

Talking nice to the stupid fuck, never works....

I was in the army, it was mandatory here, I know how that works, and I think it's stupid to be honest.
I had a guy who tried to "discipline" me after I didn't do some stupid shit that I was supposed to do. Let's just say that he bit off more than he could chew, and I got 7 days in detention.

Anyway, if you made a 10% of the effort you made in order to punish this guy into making sure that he can enjoy a beer with his mates without getting caught....

. . . ................................ ......................................... . [Image: 2dsmnow.gif] Eat at Joe's
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07-11-2015, 09:24 PM
RE: Revenge
(07-11-2015 06:52 PM)onlinebiker Wrote:  I guess you guys weren't in the service...

It's how it goes.

....

When you fuck up, and bring down the wrath of the command on everyone -- you get what's coming to you.....

.....

Talking nice to the stupid fuck, never works....

Considering you guys could have done what is usually done and throw him a fucking sock party, I think he got off pretty light for that major fuck up

(22-08-2015 07:30 PM)Revenant77x Wrote:  It is by will alone I set my brows in motion it is by the conditioner of avocado that the brows acquire volume the skin acquires spots the spots become a warning. It is by will alone I set my brows in motion.
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07-11-2015, 11:03 PM
RE: Revenge
I can't think any good revenge stories. Plenty of over competitiveness, pranks, hazing, and straightening out the new guys as needed.

Some of the stories that come to mind...

- We had a guy who was always leaving his security clearance lying around, so one time we snatched it and made some minor modifications, like using a needle to push the photo portion slightly off center. That way the next time he tried to use it to enter the facility, when the Marines saw it they thought it looked a little sloppy and therefore possibly fraudulent (our intention), so they immediately took him down and held him on the ground at gunpoint while they made some calls to confirm his identity and clearance level. Couple bruises and an embarrassing situation for him, I was always pretty proud of that one.

- Another guy, straight out of boot and very gullible... Naturally we couldn't help but fuck with him. Me and another guy started having a pre planned conversation about what we were doing with our overtime pay from standing watches off hours, making sure he was close enough to hear. As expected, our conversation grabbed his immediate attention and he told us he hadn't been getting his overtime pay. We were actually able to convince him to write a request chit asking for overtime pay and slide it under the captain's door.

Never, never, NEVER leave a phone or laptop with access to your Facebook page unattended in the military. It only takes 15 seconds for someone to send a message on your behalf to everyone you know.

I'll probably think of more. But it's late and I'm typing slow as shit on my phone.

'Murican Canadian
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