Rewriting the story of Noah
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26-12-2015, 08:34 PM
Rewriting the story of Noah
So what if you rewrote parts of the bible that worked better with the god concept that they failed to portray in their stories, here’s how the story of Noah would be rewritten:

God is distressed by how wicked mankind has become, he is sorrowful and grieves about the suffering people are inflicting on themselves through their evil actions. He recognizes Noah as the most morally upright person on the Earth and chooses him to lead humanity back to the light.

God tells Noah of the role he has to play; he then tells Noah that he will soften the hearts of all of mankind so they will be receptive to the teachings of God through Noah.

The great day of redemption comes, the memories of all people fades of the evil acts they performed, the tears of grief from humanity are wiped away and they are filled with an urge to find God’s teacher on top of Mount Ararat.

The world’s leaders come with receptive hearts to hear the message of Noah, they are transformed by the wonderful teachings of Noah and go forth to all of their tribes and cities to spread his message.

The message is simple and profound – Do no harm, respect and love each other.

The world turns towards the path of God and learns to never turn away from His path again.

So if the bible read like this, there would be no apologism necessary to explain planetary genocide while trying to maintain God’s benevolence. There would be no ridiculous story of putting every species on a boat, or of impossible atmospheric physics.

The problems would be WTF happened? It sounds like they had it all figured out, but here we are in our current state. Of course that’s where you can write in the hook. The golden age of Noah can be returned to if enough of us return to The Path.

See how easy that is? I can come up with a less complex, far better and more loving god concept than the writers of the bible.

If this had been the original story in the bible, how different would it have made the ramblings of an Aquinas or Platinga?

I suspect it would have made the idea of a loving, benevolent god a much easier selling point, the apologism for the problem of evil might be just as convoluted though.

Gods derive their power from post-hoc rationalizations. -The Inquisition

Using the supernatural to explain events in your life is a failure of the intellect to comprehend the world around you. -The Inquisition
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26-12-2015, 10:15 PM
RE: Rewriting the story of Noah
And then the donkey said, "But Noah, what of the Kangaroos? What of the Penguins?"

And Noah spake unto God, saying, "yea, there be no Starbucks on Mt Ararat. Am I to be banished without the comforts of home?

Nope. Still doesn't work.

We have enough youth. How about looking for the Fountain of Smart?
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27-12-2015, 01:19 AM
RE: Rewriting the story of Noah
People are bad, whatever, god doesn't like it and picks noah to be the sole survivor of the human race with his family.

And then god teleported with magic all the animals in the entire world inside of the ark which was also made out of magic that was like the tar dis from Doctor Who which will be a play performed in the future and would be fifty cubic miles on the inside of the ship and completely indestructible with artificial magic sunlight and night time with plenty of air and water and specialized food for all the animals and birds and even the bugs that would populate the world at the time.

Then a year later, god made all the water vanish with magic and erased all evidence of anything that ever happened from happening because reasons as noah and his family incestfully populated the planet with asians and mexicans and black people because they were white people.

MAGIC~ !


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27-12-2015, 04:34 PM
RE: Rewriting the story of Noah
Quote:God is distressed by how wicked mankind has become


But, what about when 'god' looked at his creation and pronounced it "good." Why did this supposedly omniscient being not know that everything would go to shit?

Not very god-like in my opinion.

Atheism is NOT a Religion. It's A Personal Relationship With Reality!
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27-12-2015, 09:35 PM
RE: Rewriting the story of Noah
(27-12-2015 04:34 PM)Minimalist Wrote:  
Quote:God is distressed by how wicked mankind has become


But, what about when 'god' looked at his creation and pronounced it "good." Why did this supposedly omniscient being not know that everything would go to shit?

Not very god-like in my opinion.

Yeah, he's quite the capricious little child.

I just got through watching Exodus Gods and Kings, they literally portrayed god as a petulant little child, that gave me a chuckle.

Gods derive their power from post-hoc rationalizations. -The Inquisition

Using the supernatural to explain events in your life is a failure of the intellect to comprehend the world around you. -The Inquisition
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28-12-2015, 05:50 PM
RE: Rewriting the story of Noah
Awful movie but I remember that. No wonder the god-buggerers were pissed off with that one.

Atheism is NOT a Religion. It's A Personal Relationship With Reality!
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28-12-2015, 09:43 PM
RE: Rewriting the story of Noah
Rewrite Noah
God says to Noah -"I was going to kill nearly everything on earth with a magical flood, but I changed my mind. I've decided to do nothing at all from here on out. Good luck. Live a good life. Treat people as you wish to be treated. - Cya"

Insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results
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28-12-2015, 09:59 PM
RE: Rewriting the story of Noah
Obviously people have to be frightened into believing.

Behave or the big, mean, scary gawd will fuck your shit up.

That nicey, nicey stuff just doesn't cut it.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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28-12-2015, 10:03 PM
RE: Rewriting the story of Noah
How about a sequel?
Noah 2: The Grounding
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29-12-2015, 08:41 AM
RE: Rewriting the story of Noah
Noah 2
God floods the world with porn.

You best run when someone yells
"God is coming. The end days are upon us."

Insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results
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