Roadside Memorials
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
16-08-2017, 03:09 PM
Roadside Memorials
Opinions invited.

The subject is home made memorials on the shoulders of public roads. This is a common sight in North Carolina. In case this is something not so common elsewhere, I'll describe.

A person or multiple people die in a road accident. Almost immediately the spot where the death occurred grows a cross and frequently a sign with a name or names on it. (Cross can be pretty much any size and often has sharp ends, not unlike a spear.) Multiple people? Multiple crosses. Plastic flowers. If young people are involved inevitably the spot will grow teddy bears. Cheerleader? Pom poms. Catholic? Those candles with saints on the glass that houses them and sometimes an even more "permanent" memorial---a brick housing for the saint statue. As in, something that causes serious damage to vehicles accidentally swerving into them, and/or injury.

Of course the more tragic the accident the larger the gathering of stuff by the road. As years pass teddy bears fade, crosses become unhinged, plastic flowers scatter into the road. Grass grows up around some of them and the road crews just cut around them. Media coverage some years ago after someone had planted multiple trees to honor their road related accident dead, on property that belonged to DOT, without seeking permission. If I remember correctly media involvement came when they were cut down, you know, like many trees too close to a road get cut down for safety's sake or mowing the lawn sake or place to change a flat tire sake.

This was not the case when I was younger but it has been going on for a long time.

I lost my best friend to a head-on accident over 15 years ago. Nobody even considered marking the spot with any kind of memorial (translation, litter). People visit her grave, not the spot in the road where she bled out. The spot in the road is not how we choose to remember her.

So somebody here help me to "get it" if you can----how is it honoring the victims by placing road hazards on the shoulder of the road? And if the victim died as a result of drunk driving, why are we not putting a liquor bottle by their cross?

Tinytown tragically lost a whole family to a traffic accident when my daughter over 20 years ago. The relatives officially "adopted" the road near the intersection. This was (and still is) a government-sanctioned, acceptable thing to do---it involved erecting an official DOT sign and a commitment on the part of the people adopting the two mile stretch---to pick up the garbage. To keep the adopted road free of litter. Stretches of road can be adopted by pretty much anyone--a business can adopt it and put their name on it. I've seen some dedicated to a family's dogs that they walked in that particular stretch. Can be dedicated to living or dead. Boy Scouts, Shriners, other civic groups can adopt a stretch of road and have their name on the sign. But what they all have in common is that the signs were government provided, officially erected, road signs. And they all come with a commitment to pick up the trash.

Hmmm. So does the fact that I am bothered by these constant reminders of death scattered along the roadsides give me the right to remove them? Does the fact that I don't wish to see crosses along the shoulder of public roads give me the right to remove them?

Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?
"Life is not all lovely thorns and singing vultures, you know." ~ Morticia Addams
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
16-08-2017, 03:27 PM
RE: Roadside Memorials
I think people grieve in different ways. For me, I don't have a problem with it if people want to set up memorials if they find it somehow healing. I personally wouldn't do a memorial roadside thing because I don't like to mark tragedies in that way, I much rather plant a tree in a place that was special to them or do something like that in their honor. But everyone heals differently when faced with a tragedy and I try to have compassion for that even if I don't necessarily agree with the way they are going about it. I think this is just my round about way of saying, maybe just let it be. Tongue I can understand why you don't like it though.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes jennybee's post
16-08-2017, 03:30 PM
RE: Roadside Memorials
I wrote a bit on this subject a couple of years ago.


Conclusion - if you're so fucking grief stricken, how the hell did you find time to construct this public display of " woe is me"?????

It's bad enough we waste space storing dead motherfuckers on prime real estate - AKA graveyards.... Now you want to waste more space doing roadside advertisements for them???

Censored

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes onlinebiker's post
16-08-2017, 03:48 PM
RE: Roadside Memorials
I've had friends killed in collisions, even two who were run over by a car that drove off the road while they walked home one night. To me, roadside memorials don't do anything. I agree that they become a nuisance and eyesore.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Clockwork's post
16-08-2017, 04:34 PM
RE: Roadside Memorials
(16-08-2017 03:30 PM)onlinebiker Wrote:  I wrote a bit on this subject a couple of years ago.


Conclusion - if you're so fucking grief stricken, how the hell did you find time to construct this public display of " woe is me"?????

It's bad enough we waste space storing dead motherfuckers on prime real estate - AKA graveyards.... Now you want to waste more space doing roadside advertisements for them???

Censored

Any idea what search words I can use to find that? I'd like to read it. You meant here on this forum, right?

Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?
"Life is not all lovely thorns and singing vultures, you know." ~ Morticia Addams
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
16-08-2017, 04:36 PM
RE: Roadside Memorials
This issue came up in my city a few years ago, and the city was debating what the prudent thing was, as over the years as these "monuments" began falling apart or rusting. I don't know if it they enacted any bylaws yet, but the most preferred option was to allow them to mark the site for 1 year, but only if someone was willing to take responsibility for maintaining the site during that year.

A particular thing here are monuments called "ghost bikes" where places that people were killed in cycling accidents were marked with bicycles painted white, usually adorned with flowers. There were 2 near me for a few years, becoming more dilapidated and sad with each passing month. They have since been removed.

What annoys me the most about these things is that while people show caring & love while erecting them, if they are not maintained, they do at some point turn into symbols of disrespect, much like continuing to fly a faded & tattered flag on a flag pole.

I would never erect such a thing though.

A friend in the hole

"If we're going to be damned, let's be damned for what we really are." - Captain Picard
11
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes unsapien's post
16-08-2017, 04:41 PM
RE: Roadside Memorials
unsapien---I despise tattered flags too, ESPECIALLY on any school or government property!

Glad I've never seen ghost bikes. I just asked my husband and he's seen two. Sounds like something that would be a really dangerous form of debris coming through a windshield.

Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?
"Life is not all lovely thorns and singing vultures, you know." ~ Morticia Addams
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
16-08-2017, 04:45 PM (This post was last modified: 16-08-2017 04:49 PM by abaris.)
RE: Roadside Memorials
(16-08-2017 03:09 PM)outtathereligioncloset Wrote:  So somebody here help me to "get it" if you can----how is it honoring the victims by placing road hazards on the shoulder of the road? And if the victim died as a result of drunk driving, why are we not putting a liquor bottle by their cross?

It happens everywhere (europe) and I never considered them hazards. The authorities seem to share my opinion, since otherwise they would be removed by the service crews maintaining the roads.

In my neighbourhood there's one that's been up since fucking 1946. Memorial for a young woman being overrun by a russian truck. Old and withered sign, of course. Nobody took issue with it for the better part of 70 years.

[Image: Labrador%20and%20Title.jpg]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
16-08-2017, 04:49 PM
RE: Roadside Memorials
(16-08-2017 03:09 PM)outtathereligioncloset Wrote:  Opinions invited.

The subject is home made memorials on the shoulders of public roads. This is a common sight in North Carolina. In case this is something not so common elsewhere, I'll describe.

A person or multiple people die in a road accident. Almost immediately the spot where the death occurred grows a cross and frequently a sign with a name or names on it. (Cross can be pretty much any size and often has sharp ends, not unlike a spear.) Multiple people? Multiple crosses. Plastic flowers. If young people are involved inevitably the spot will grow teddy bears. Cheerleader? Pom poms. Catholic? Those candles with saints on the glass that houses them and sometimes an even more "permanent" memorial---a brick housing for the saint statue. As in, something that causes serious damage to vehicles accidentally swerving into them, and/or injury.

Of course the more tragic the accident the larger the gathering of stuff by the road. As years pass teddy bears fade, crosses become unhinged, plastic flowers scatter into the road. Grass grows up around some of them and the road crews just cut around them. Media coverage some years ago after someone had planted multiple trees to honor their road related accident dead, on property that belonged to DOT, without seeking permission. If I remember correctly media involvement came when they were cut down, you know, like many trees too close to a road get cut down for safety's sake or mowing the lawn sake or place to change a flat tire sake.

This was not the case when I was younger but it has been going on for a long time.

I lost my best friend to a head-on accident over 15 years ago. Nobody even considered marking the spot with any kind of memorial (translation, litter). People visit her grave, not the spot in the road where she bled out. The spot in the road is not how we choose to remember her.

So somebody here help me to "get it" if you can----how is it honoring the victims by placing road hazards on the shoulder of the road? And if the victim died as a result of drunk driving, why are we not putting a liquor bottle by their cross?

Tinytown tragically lost a whole family to a traffic accident when my daughter over 20 years ago. The relatives officially "adopted" the road near the intersection. This was (and still is) a government-sanctioned, acceptable thing to do---it involved erecting an official DOT sign and a commitment on the part of the people adopting the two mile stretch---to pick up the garbage. To keep the adopted road free of litter. Stretches of road can be adopted by pretty much anyone--a business can adopt it and put their name on it. I've seen some dedicated to a family's dogs that they walked in that particular stretch. Can be dedicated to living or dead. Boy Scouts, Shriners, other civic groups can adopt a stretch of road and have their name on the sign. But what they all have in common is that the signs were government provided, officially erected, road signs. And they all come with a commitment to pick up the trash.

Hmmm. So does the fact that I am bothered by these constant reminders of death scattered along the roadsides give me the right to remove them? Does the fact that I don't wish to see crosses along the shoulder of public roads give me the right to remove them?

It's not about the victims. It's never about the dead.

Different people grieve in different ways. This sort of thing gives many people some sort of solace.

Don't judge people who are grieving, they are not rational. Some day you will be there and you will understand. Not the roadside thingies, but what they do for people.

Don't mess with grieving people, they have enough sorrow.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
16-08-2017, 04:51 PM
RE: Roadside Memorials
(16-08-2017 03:30 PM)onlinebiker Wrote:  Conclusion - if you're so fucking grief stricken, how the hell did you find time to construct this public display of " woe is me"?????

You are fucking ignorant and you have never grieved or you would not spout this nonsense. Angry

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like Dom's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: