Roman Catholic Voodoo Hotline
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03-12-2012, 12:47 PM
Roman Catholic Voodoo Hotline
'Hi, deliver me from evil': Catholic Church sets up an exorcist hotline to deal with demand

MICHAEL DAY[Image: plus.png]

MILAN
FRIDAY 30 NOVEMBER 2012

The Catholic Church has established an exorcist hotline in Milan, its biggest diocese, to cope with demand. Monsignor Angelo Mascheroni, the diocese’s chief exorcist since 1995, said the curia had also appointed twice as many exorcists to cope with a doubling in the number of requests for help over 15 years.

“We get many requests for names, addresses and phone numbers; that’s why we’ve set up a switchboard in the curia from Monday to Friday from 2.30pm to 5pm,” he told the chiesadimilano website.
“People in need can call and will be able to find a priest in the same area who doesn’t have to travel too far.” And to that end, the number of demon-busting priests on call has increased from six to 12.
The Monsignor said he knew of one exorcist who had been seeing up to 120 people a day. “But with so little time per client he was only able to offer a quick blessing. That’s not enough,” he said. ”There should be two to four appointments a day, no more, otherwise it’s too much.”
It’s not clear why the number of suspected possessions has risen so sharply. But Monsignor Mascheroni said [...]

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03-12-2012, 01:08 PM
RE: Roman Catholic Voodoo Hotline
Crap, the Pope has revealed his true form and is possessing the Italian public!
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03-12-2012, 01:16 PM
RE: Roman Catholic Voodoo Hotline
Exorcism by appointment. Lovely.

I'd like to be exorcised next Thursday at 2pm please.

I wonder if exorcisms in the US are covered under Obamacare?

"Whores perform the same function as priests, but far more thoroughly." - Robert A. Heinlein
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03-12-2012, 02:14 PM
RE: Roman Catholic Voodoo Hotline
This is interesting, but it doesn't surprise me.

I think out of prayer lines, psychic lines and others, this would be the most fun to troll. You can call all kinds of names in deep scruffy voices and it would be acceptable. Ha ha.
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03-12-2012, 03:17 PM
RE: Roman Catholic Voodoo Hotline
See! The Roman Catholic church still has professional exorcists! I bet they still burn witches and heretics too.
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03-12-2012, 03:19 PM
RE: Roman Catholic Voodoo Hotline
Are these "personal trainers" ? I do get lots of exercise, but I could use a trainer.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein Certified Ancient Astronaut Theorist and Levitating yogi, CAAT-LY.
Yeah, for verily I say unto thee, and this we know : Jebus no likey that which doth tickle thee unto thy nether regions.

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03-12-2012, 03:25 PM
RE: Roman Catholic Voodoo Hotline
The Church's views on exorcism are quite peculiar. Excorcisms have been quite rare for centuries (and not since the 60s, as certain catholic fundamentalists erroneously claim). It was happy clappy John Paul II who reinvigorated exorcisms. It's mostly American and Italian though. Perhaps Polish, but I'm not sure about that.

On the other hand, it's quite relieving to keep in mind that church officials nowadays require exorcists to refer potentials subjects for psychological screening, and require the exorcists themselves to have had quite rigorous training. In these circumstances, I'm quite sure exorcism would at best work under the placebo effect, and at worst be a waste of time. Tragedies such as Anneliese Michel can and will be avoided. That's the Catholic Church however. There are still many extremist fringe groups far worse than the Fraternity of Pius X, who don't take such precautions. Quite a few of them trace their origins to a dubious exorcist bishop.
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03-12-2012, 04:22 PM
RE: Roman Catholic Voodoo Hotline
120 exorcisms per day? Wow, apparently it takes only 12 minutes to cast out a demon (or more like 10 minutes if you deduct travel time between appointments). Those demons aren't so bad after all. Smile

"Religion has caused more misery to all of mankind in every stage of human history than any other single idea." --Madalyn Murray O'Hair
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03-12-2012, 04:35 PM
RE: Roman Catholic Voodoo Hotline
I heard they were having a 2 for 1 sale on the exorcism of 12 year old boys. They claim to know exactly what to do with them, as they have centuries of experience with them as alter boys.

How can anyone become an atheist when we were all born with no religious beliefs in the first place? We are atheists because we were ...
BORN THIS WAY
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03-12-2012, 05:01 PM
RE: Roman Catholic Voodoo Hotline
(03-12-2012 04:22 PM)Impulse Wrote:  120 exorcisms per day? Wow, apparently it takes only 12 minutes to cast out a demon (or more like 10 minutes if you deduct travel time between appointments). Those demons aren't so bad after all. Smile
They're just very good at it, you know? They are professionals after all. Drinking Beverage






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