Romney's Religion: Magical Mormon Underwear
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07-08-2012, 08:49 AM
Romney's Religion: Magical Mormon Underwear
[Image: underwear.jpg]

One issue regarding "Romney's Religion" that seems to have captured the imagination of the press is magical Mormon underwear. Mormons resent the term "magic underwear." However, while this is a slight distortion, it is not far from the truth.

All "temple-worthy" Mormons wear garments. They are supposed to wear them "night and day," and have to certify to their bishop that they do so ever few years in order to renew their "temple recommends," which allows them to attend the temple.

The injunction to wear garments "night and day" has been interpreted by some Mormons to include wearing them during intercourse, although this is probably not the norm (some church leaders, however, have boasted about fathering all of their children through the "portal of the priesthood," a euphemism for wearing garments during sex). Most Mormons remove their garments during sex, as well as in activities in which the garments would be visible to the public, i.e., sports. However, Mormons are told to replace the garments as soon as possible after the activity (i.e., no sleeping naked after sex).

It is a good thing that Mormons hide the garments. They are the ugliest underclothing imaginable, even the current, two-piece variety that became available in 1979. I'm sorry for Mormons before 1979, like my parents, who had to wear the one-piecers (which still exist). Even worse, I can't imagine the horrible wrist-to-ankle version that all worthy Mormons wore before 1923 and continued to wear in the temples until 1975 (you had to change out of your two-piecers and don the traditional garb).

[Image: mormon_garments2.gif]

Garments actually started as a way to identify people who Joseph Smith had brought into practice of polygamy. They allowed you to identify a "brother" who was part of the conspiracy. The original garment was designed only for men, after the pattern of mid-nineteenth century long johns. It was originally a one-piece garment made of plain, unbleached cotton cloth that covered the body from ankles to wrists. No buttons were used on the garment. Four to five tie-strings took their place to hold the front closed. The garment had little collars which were not visible from the outside of the shirt worn over it. In the crotch area was a large flap, which ran from the back below the waist all the way under the body and met the front tie closing.

Mormon garments are covered with Masonic symbols (the square, the compass, etc.) that denote various covenants Mormons make in the temple. The LDS temple ritual is Masonic in origin, including signs and phrases taken directly out of Freemasonry. At one time, Mormons had to strip naked in the temple, be ritually washed, and then put on the garments, after which the symbols were cut into the cloth.

Mormon are told that their garments represents the garment given to Adam when he was found naked in the garden of Eden. This is why many Mormons are Young Earth Creationists. So much of Mormon doctrine relies on the literal existence of Adam and Eve, the Flood, the Tower of Babel, etc.

The reference to "magic" underwear probably originates from a number of sources. For example, when a pair of holy garments becomes "worn out," the owner of the garment must take a pair of scissors and cut out the embroidered symbols on the breast, navel, and knees. These symbols must then be burned by fire as they are treated as "holy relics". The worn out garment can then be disposed of by throwing the garment into the trash. I can attest that this is still done by devout Mormons.

More significant, however, is the fact that Mormons are told in the temple that the garment will be a "shield and a protection to you against the power of the destroyer until you have finished your work here on earth." In general, Mormons view the garment as a symbolic and spiritual shield against the powers of Satan. Some LDS people believe that the garment provides them with "supernatural powers" of physical protection. Bill Marriott, prominent Mormon and owner of Marriott Hotels International, stated in an interview with Mike Wallace of 60 Minutes that he believed his garments protected him from being burned during a boating accident. There are numerous anecdotal stories about Mormons being burned (or cut) up to the garment line, after which they were "miraculously" protected.

In this sense, the Mormon garment functions as a type of "talisman," i.e., an object considered to possess supernatural or magical powers. According to Mormon "prophets," the protection of the Mormon garment appears depends on the worthiness of the wearer and can be lost if the garment is defiled (Mormons are warned to not let the garment touch the ground).

Deceased Mormons will be buried in their temple garments, presumably to protect the corpse until the "resurrection." Dressing the corpse is done by the ward's Relief Society President if the mortician is not an endowed member, so as not to reveal anything and "cast pearls before swine."

Mormons are commanded to not modify the garment in any way in order to wear popular (or even seasonal) clothing. For this reason, Mormons emphasize a particular brand of modesty, e.g., no sleeveless tops, shorts must go to the knee, etc. Even children are told that they need to start dressing modestly so that they will be able to adapt to the requirements of the temple garments. In some families, two-piece swimsuits are banned, even for toddlers!

I can remember going to Hawaii after I was first married and sweltering in the tropical sun while wearing the garment of the holy priesthood. I felt like an idiot.

However, there are consequences for not wearing garments. How do people know when you are not wearing them (aside from "immodest" clothing)? Garments go down to the knee, and the Church has conveniently added a hem along the leg that is typically visible through one's pants. Also, Mormons can look for the circular outline of the garment top under your shirt. Mormons often call it the "eternal smile."

If you are caught not wearing your garments, there will be a lot of talk and speculation, most frequently along the lines of "did he/she commit adultery." When Mormons are disciplined (excommunicated) for sexual sins, they are told to not wear their garments. Also, when Mormons become disaffected, they stop wearing garments. In other words, if you are caught not wearing your garments outside of one of the few exceptional situations, you are branded an adulterer or an apostate.

I don't think any Mormon really enjoys wearing garments, but they tend to become a security blanket after many years of use. Mormons especially don't like it when other Mormons cheat. This is why they often fall into the role of the "Garment Police," trying to spot other people who are not wearing garments and reporting this information to the Bishop.

From public statements, as well as confirmation from people I know who know Romney, he is a "temple-worthy" Mormon. Ergo, he almost certainly wears garments. The only question is whether he wears one-piece or two-piece garments. I'm voting for one-piece. Romney, like my father, first went through the temple before 1979. Old habits die hard.

Why is any of this relevant to the upcoming election? Because people have a right to know that a presidential candidate carries or wears a talisman covered with arcane symbols. Personally, I don't want to turn over the nuclear arsenal of this country to a person who exhibits magical thinking (garments), who listens to voices in his head telling him to do things (Holy Ghost), and who has sworn oaths of obedience to God as interpreted by Church leaders.

http://www.theofrak.com/2012/06/romneys-...ormon.html

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07-08-2012, 01:32 PM
RE: Romney's Religion: Magical Mormon Underwear
Ah shit. I so do not want to think about this creepy fuck's underwear. Undecided

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07-08-2012, 02:17 PM
RE: Romney's Religion: Magical Mormon Underwear
Thank you. And people seriously want this guy as POTUS?

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07-08-2012, 02:36 PM
RE: Romney's Religion: Magical Mormon Underwear
(07-08-2012 01:32 PM)kim Wrote:  Ah shit. I so do not want to think about this creepy fuck's underwear. Undecided

I sometimes think it is because people don't realize how bat shit crazy his beliefs are.

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07-08-2012, 02:43 PM
RE: Romney's Religion: Magical Mormon Underwear
This guy will not win. I am not a fan of Obama, but I'd rather see him in for another 4 years than Romney for 4 minutes.

And yet another interesting topic I am not interested in.
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07-08-2012, 06:20 PM
RE: Romney's Religion: Magical Mormon Underwear
(07-08-2012 02:43 PM)AmishLatinJew Wrote:  This guy will not win. I am not a fan of Obama, but I'd rather see him in for another 4 years than Romney for 4 minutes.

Sorry guys, I'm for Romney. Smart and competent in my view. The shit we're in is too deep to dismiss him for religious beliefs when all candidates profess a belief in god.
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07-08-2012, 06:24 PM
RE: Romney's Religion: Magical Mormon Underwear
(07-08-2012 06:20 PM)Jeff Wrote:  
(07-08-2012 02:43 PM)AmishLatinJew Wrote:  This guy will not win. I am not a fan of Obama, but I'd rather see him in for another 4 years than Romney for 4 minutes.

Sorry guys, I'm for Romney. Smart and competent in my view. The shit we're in is too deep to dismiss him for religious beliefs when all candidates profess a belief in god.

For me it's not simply about his religion. His tactics thus far in the campaign have some of the most lame and appalling shots I have seen. But as far as his business, which he has raised and did well for himself, you can't treat a country's finances the same way he manipulated the finances regarding Bain Capital. It just doesn't work.

But I don't want to step too deep into politics. We will be disappointed anyways. I'm writing Ron Paul's name in.

And yet another interesting topic I am not interested in.
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08-08-2012, 10:05 AM
RE: Romney's Religion: Magical Mormon Underwear
(07-08-2012 06:20 PM)Jeff Wrote:  
(07-08-2012 02:43 PM)AmishLatinJew Wrote:  This guy will not win. I am not a fan of Obama, but I'd rather see him in for another 4 years than Romney for 4 minutes.

Sorry guys, I'm for Romney. Smart and competent in my view. The shit we're in is too deep to dismiss him for religious beliefs when all candidates profess a belief in god.

His business experience will have him breaking up the U.S. and selling off the parts.

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08-08-2012, 03:26 PM
RE: Romney's Religion: Magical Mormon Underwear
(07-08-2012 06:20 PM)Jeff Wrote:  
(07-08-2012 02:43 PM)AmishLatinJew Wrote:  This guy will not win. I am not a fan of Obama, but I'd rather see him in for another 4 years than Romney for 4 minutes.

Sorry guys, I'm for Romney. Smart and competent in my view. The shit we're in is too deep to dismiss him for religious beliefs when all candidates profess a belief in god.

Romney is a moron, not just a Mormon. His success at Bain isn't a result of his genius overall, just in investing. I know guys like that - smart in one area, but fucking stupid in others. That's Romney. He has no idea how to deal with foreign relations, let alone his proposed constituency. His economic policies are unoriginal at best and will only lead to more of the same rising inequality and pandering to the corporations. If you think his business success will translate to US economic success, you're deceived. I work in private equity and know people who also worked at Bain. Great businessmen, but don't know the first thing about public policy (or many other matters - some are YECs, deny global warming, think peak oil is BS, etc).

I will be voting Obama, even though I disagree with him on some issues. At least he's on the right page with science, civil rights (aside from Guantanamo, which is supported by Romney too anyway) and is much better at foreign relations (not saying much). IMO a lesser of evils election, but that's US politics. Ron Paul has 0% chance, so I would only be able to vote for him on principle. And I think his foreign policy and fiscal policy ideas are naive at best.

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09-08-2012, 09:22 AM
RE: Romney's Religion: Magical Mormon Underwear
(08-08-2012 03:26 PM)Azaraith Wrote:  
(07-08-2012 06:20 PM)Jeff Wrote:  Sorry guys, I'm for Romney. Smart and competent in my view. The shit we're in is too deep to dismiss him for religious beliefs when all candidates profess a belief in god.

Romney is a moron, not just a Mormon. His success at Bain isn't a result of his genius overall, just in investing. I know guys like that - smart in one area, but fucking stupid in others. That's Romney. He has no idea how to deal with foreign relations, let alone his proposed constituency. His economic policies are unoriginal at best and will only lead to more of the same rising inequality and pandering to the corporations. If you think his business success will translate to US economic success, you're deceived. I work in private equity and know people who also worked at Bain. Great businessmen, but don't know the first thing about public policy (or many other matters - some are YECs, deny global warming, think peak oil is BS, etc).

I will be voting Obama, even though I disagree with him on some issues. At least he's on the right page with science, civil rights (aside from Guantanamo, which is supported by Romney too anyway) and is much better at foreign relations (not saying much). IMO a lesser of evils election, but that's US politics. Ron Paul has 0% chance, so I would only be able to vote for him on principle. And I think his foreign policy and fiscal policy ideas are naive at best.

I couldn't agree more. I know so many Mormons who are brilliant in many ways -- business, law, science, etc. -- but they completely suspend their intelligence on Sundays. It is maddening, which is one of the reasons I couldn't continue to go to the Mormon church. It was like going to a lunatic asylum and being the only sane person.

I am very skeptical about anyone being able to fix the country's problems. They are built into our democratic system. No elected official will ever vote for austerity measures before they become absolutely necessary (e.g., Greece, Spain). That is going to be us in the near future. I kind of hope I'm dead when it happens, but I pessimistically expect that I will still be around.

www.Theofrak.com - because traditional religion is so frakked up

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