Ruin a Fundamentalist Christian's day...
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27-03-2015, 06:06 AM
Ruin a Fundamentalist Christian's day...
Saw this on FB, had to share.

I need biblical help!

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law.
I have learned a great deal from you, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can.

When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

Remember, just because you want something to be true, doesn't make it true. Yes, even if you have faith.
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27-03-2015, 09:06 AM
RE: Ruin a Fundamentalist Christian's day...
Sadly, it doesn't ruin their day. They'll arbitrarily claim the anti-homosexuality rules as "moral laws" and say they still apply, while arbitrarily claiming the others are "civil" or "ceremonial" laws and say that they don't apply. I'm glad that they don't follow most of those other rules, but damn, it'd be nice if they rejected them for the right reasons.
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27-03-2015, 11:29 AM
RE: Ruin a Fundamentalist Christian's day...
Perhaps the homosexuality law could be argued as civil, as buttsex doesn't make offspring to own your land and carry your name, and maintaining a legacy could be in the same catagory as the legacy itself.
Just a stab at it.
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27-03-2015, 11:43 AM
RE: Ruin a Fundamentalist Christian's day...
But wait a second. didn't s/paul reaffirm slavery and homosexuality laws in the NT while saying that OT laws don't need to be observed?
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27-03-2015, 01:33 PM
RE: Ruin a Fundamentalist Christian's day...
(27-03-2015 06:06 AM)microterf Wrote:  Saw this on FB, had to share.

I need biblical help!

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law.
I have learned a great deal from you, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can.

When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

Please allow me to help?

*Death by stoning or any other method is irrelevant and meaningless as life has no objective purpose that we may determine.

*Altruism is unneeded. Take what you want, why doncha'? Altruism might have genetic roots but is most likely a social construct.

*As atheists, rather than the hated Bible Law, we can ascribe to highest Satanic law as recounted by Anton LaVey, "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law." Eat, drink, smoke, rape and kill as you choose--we all go to the same place, the grave, nothingness and being forgotten by the living. N'est pas?

I'm told atheists on forums like TTA are bitter and angry. If you are not, your posts to me will be respectful, insightful and thoughtful. Prove me wrong by your adherence to decent behavior.
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27-03-2015, 01:47 PM
RE: Ruin a Fundamentalist Christian's day...
(27-03-2015 01:33 PM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  
(27-03-2015 06:06 AM)microterf Wrote:  Saw this on FB, had to share.

I need biblical help!

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law.
I have learned a great deal from you, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can.

When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

Please allow me to help?

*Death by stoning or any other method is irrelevant and meaningless as life has no objective purpose that we may determine.

*Altruism is unneeded. Take what you want, why doncha'? Altruism might have genetic roots but is most likely a social construct.

*As atheists, rather than the hated Bible Law, we can ascribe to highest Satanic law as recounted by Anton LaVey, "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law." Eat, drink, smoke, rape and kill as you choose--we all go to the same place, the grave, nothingness and being forgotten by the living. N'est pas?

WTF? I think the cheese has finally slid off of your cracker there "Q the insanity".

“Truth does not demand belief. Scientists do not join hands every Sunday, singing, yes, gravity is real! I will have faith! I will be strong! I believe in my heart that what goes up, up, up, must come down, down, down. Amen! If they did, we would think they were pretty insecure about it.”
— Dan Barker —
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27-03-2015, 02:07 PM
RE: Ruin a Fundamentalist Christian's day...
(27-03-2015 09:06 AM)RobbyPants Wrote:  Sadly, it doesn't ruin their day. They'll arbitrarily claim the anti-homosexuality rules as "moral laws" and say they still apply, while arbitrarily claiming the others are "civil" or "ceremonial" laws and say that they don't apply. I'm glad that they don't follow most of those other rules, but damn, it'd be nice if they rejected them for the right reasons.

Yes, the problem with xtians is that they are all full of shit.

Atheism is NOT a Religion. It's A Personal Relationship With Reality!
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27-03-2015, 02:23 PM
RE: Ruin a Fundamentalist Christian's day...



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27-03-2015, 02:37 PM (This post was last modified: 27-03-2015 02:49 PM by Simon Moon.)
RE: Ruin a Fundamentalist Christian's day...
(27-03-2015 01:33 PM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  Please allow me to help?

*Death by stoning or any other method is irrelevant and meaningless as life has no objective purpose that we may determine.

Life has meaning to the people that have it. Just because life will end one day, including everything that is my consciousness, does not mean that it is meaningless to me, my family, friends, and loved ones now.

One day your car will be a useless pile of rusted metal and decaying rubber and plastic. Does that mean it has no meaning to you now?

Quote:*Altruism is unneeded. Take what you want, why doncha'? Altruism might have genetic roots but is most likely a social construct.

Because we don't want to live in a society where others can take our stuff, we do not take other's stuff. The same goes for murder and rape.

We are able to rationally consider what it takes to have a moral, viable society. Couple this with our evolutionary history as a social species, which includes: altruism, kin selection, reciprocity, cooperation, etc, and you have the makings for a moral society.

Quote:*As atheists, rather than the hated Bible Law, we can ascribe to highest Satanic law as recounted by Anton LaVey, "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law." Eat, drink, smoke, rape and kill as you choose--we all go to the same place, the grave, nothingness and being forgotten by the living. N'est pas?

Why should we listen to LaVey? He doesn't speak for anyone but those that follow him.

The hated Bible law. You mean like punishing a rapist by having him pay the father of the victim and marrying her? Owning slaves and selling your daughter into slavery? Stoning to death anyone that believes in different gods?

If you believe any of those are moral, then it is you that have lost your moral compass.
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27-03-2015, 02:40 PM
RE: Ruin a Fundamentalist Christian's day...
(27-03-2015 01:33 PM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  Please allow me to help?

*Death by stoning or any other method is irrelevant and meaningless as life has no objective purpose that we may determine.

*Altruism is unneeded. Take what you want, why doncha'? Altruism might have genetic roots but is most likely a social construct.

*As atheists, rather than the hated Bible Law, we can ascribe to highest Satanic law as recounted by Anton LaVey, "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law." Eat, drink, smoke, rape and kill as you choose--we all go to the same place, the grave, nothingness and being forgotten by the living. N'est pas?

I want to be, that's enough meaning.
I acknowledge there are other people here too and I need them.
I want me and my family to thrive so I subscribe to the social contract and do my best for it and to improve it, knowing my children are going to need the social contract in the future.
.

One cockroach at a time.
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