Ruin a Fundamentalist Christian's day...
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27-03-2015, 03:26 PM
RE: Ruin a Fundamentalist Christian's day...
Q misses the point as usual. Biblical followers are so morally bankrupt they need fear of a sky daddy watching their every thought and action to stay on the path of "goodness"...too bad prison statistics show they fail miserably at that....meanwhile atheists are good by conscious choice, knowing they are accountable for their actions by their fellow man, not by an invisible sky daddy. We choose to do good for the betterment of mankind, and ourselves.

"Belief is so often the death of reason" - Qyburn, Game of Thrones

"The Christian community continues to exist because the conclusions of the critical study of the Bible are largely withheld from them." -Hans Conzelmann (1915-1989)
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27-03-2015, 04:56 PM
Ruin a Fundamentalist Christian's day...
OK, so one Christian refused to answer the questions.

Maybe another would like to try?
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27-03-2015, 05:45 PM (This post was last modified: 27-03-2015 05:49 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Ruin a Fundamentalist Christian's day...
Excellent questions, astroturf, excellent questions.

(27-03-2015 06:06 AM)microterf Wrote:  a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

You should invite them over for the bull roast. It's the neighborly thing to do. Might have to switch to pig roast if they're Hindu but it's even better anyway.

(27-03-2015 06:06 AM)microterf Wrote:  b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

Start at $500/hr and adjust based on demand.

(27-03-2015 06:06 AM)microterf Wrote:  c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

You've obviously never been married.

(27-03-2015 06:06 AM)microterf Wrote:  d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

Because they will own you, silly.

(27-03-2015 06:06 AM)microterf Wrote:  e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

No, but you are morally obligated to leave a fully functional nitrogen exit bag at his front door with a note saying "You know what you have to do. Do the right thing Bob."

(27-03-2015 06:06 AM)microterf Wrote:  f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Hmmmmm ... Consider .... tough call.

(27-03-2015 06:06 AM)microterf Wrote:  g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Close your eyes and nobody can tell.

(27-03-2015 06:06 AM)microterf Wrote:  h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

Shit that's an easy one, Absalom.

(27-03-2015 06:06 AM)microterf Wrote:  i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

Yes. But they must be mittens made out of lamb scrotal sac skin.

(27-03-2015 06:06 AM)microterf Wrote:  j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

Yes.

There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
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27-03-2015, 07:25 PM
RE: Ruin a Fundamentalist Christian's day...
(27-03-2015 01:33 PM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  Please allow me to help?

*Death by stoning or any other method is irrelevant and meaningless as life has no objective purpose that we may determine.

*Altruism is unneeded. Take what you want, why doncha'? Altruism might have genetic roots but is most likely a social construct.

*As atheists, rather than the hated Bible Law, we can ascribe to highest Satanic law as recounted by Anton LaVey, "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law." Eat, drink, smoke, rape and kill as you choose--we all go to the same place, the grave, nothingness and being forgotten by the living. N'est pas?

This level of strawmanning is appalling, even for you. I know you know better than this.
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27-03-2015, 09:17 PM
RE: Ruin a Fundamentalist Christian's day...
(27-03-2015 01:33 PM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  
(27-03-2015 06:06 AM)microterf Wrote:  Saw this on FB, had to share.

I need biblical help!

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law.
I have learned a great deal from you, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can.

When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

Please allow me to help?

*Death by stoning or any other method is irrelevant and meaningless as life has no objective purpose that we may determine.

*Altruism is unneeded. Take what you want, why doncha'? Altruism might have genetic roots but is most likely a social construct.

*As atheists, rather than the hated Bible Law, we can ascribe to highest Satanic law as recounted by Anton LaVey, "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law." Eat, drink, smoke, rape and kill as you choose--we all go to the same place, the grave, nothingness and being forgotten by the living. N'est pas?

Thank you, thank you and thank you. You could have just simplified it.

Jebus

Jebus

Jebus

Yes

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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28-03-2015, 01:15 AM
RE: Ruin a Fundamentalist Christian's day...
(27-03-2015 06:06 AM)microterf Wrote:  a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
Just buy some steaks from the butcher shop and have a backyard barbeque. If the neighbors don't like that smell they are sick. You will have to find a lab to make sure the steaks have a Y chromosome, otherwise it's cow and God will be pissed.

(27-03-2015 06:06 AM)microterf Wrote:  b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
Is she a virgin? She's worth more if she is, especially if you sell her to a Muslim. Otherwise estimate how many working years she has left to live, figure 100 hours per week and multiply by minimum wage.

(27-03-2015 06:06 AM)microterf Wrote:  c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Close inspection during foreplay. If she doesn't like that you have to get inventive. Go through her trash and look for used tampons. Keep a calendar.

(27-03-2015 06:06 AM)microterf Wrote:  d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
Canadians won't sell. Mexicans will.

(27-03-2015 06:06 AM)microterf Wrote:  e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
No. For one thing the method is stoning and that takes too long if you are doing it alone. Best to join with other members of you church's congregation. Make sure one of your members is a judge.

(27-03-2015 06:06 AM)microterf Wrote:  f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
Eating shellfish is the lessor offense provided you don't stick them up your ass.

(27-03-2015 06:06 AM)microterf Wrote:  g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
Try lasix or contacts.

(27-03-2015 06:06 AM)microterf Wrote:  h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?
Set their hair on fire. Take note of (e) above.

(27-03-2015 06:06 AM)microterf Wrote:  i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
I think most modern footballs are made of artificial leather so there's no problem, but be sure to check with the manufacturer.

(27-03-2015 06:06 AM)microterf Wrote:  j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
Answer to (e) above applies.

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28-03-2015, 07:19 AM
RE: Ruin a Fundamentalist Christian's day...
(27-03-2015 01:33 PM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  ... N'est pas?

You are ignorant, n'est-ce pas?

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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28-03-2015, 08:20 AM
RE: Ruin a Fundamentalist Christian's day...
(27-03-2015 01:33 PM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  Please allow me to help?

*Death by stoning or any other method is irrelevant and meaningless as life has no objective purpose that we may determine.

*Altruism is unneeded. Take what you want, why doncha'? Altruism might have genetic roots but is most likely a social construct.

*As atheists, rather than the hated Bible Law, we can ascribe to highest Satanic law as recounted by Anton LaVey, "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law." Eat, drink, smoke, rape and kill as you choose--we all go to the same place, the grave, nothingness and being forgotten by the living. N'est pas?

I'm worried about you Q. I didn't know you were feeling this much anger. Do you need a hug?

Give me your argument in the form of a published paper, and then we can start to talk.
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28-03-2015, 11:00 AM
RE: Ruin a Fundamentalist Christian's day...
(27-03-2015 06:06 AM)microterf Wrote:  Saw this on FB, had to share.

I need biblical help!

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law.
I have learned a great deal from you, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can.

When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

I think youve confused fundemental Christianity with OT Judaism, as all the passages you quoted pretain to OT Judaism rather than NT Christianity. So your title should read as follows: Ahemm.. "How to ruin an OT Jew's day if you have a tarturus, and go back into time when these rules applied to an active religion."
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The Index: A/S/K Ask Seek Knock as outlined by Luke 11:5-13
Ot Old testament
Nt New testament
H/S Holy Spirit

If you want to ask me a question feel free to Pm me or E/M me. I will not speak of it to anyone.
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28-03-2015, 12:03 PM
RE: Ruin a Fundamentalist Christian's day...
(28-03-2015 11:00 AM)Drich Wrote:  I think youve confused fundemental Christianity with OT Judaism, as all the passages you quoted pretain to OT Judaism rather than NT Christianity. So your title should read as follows: Ahemm.. "How to ruin an OT Jew's day if you have a tarturus, and go back into time when these rules applied to an active religion."
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But then again, it's all just made up anyway. NT....OT....BS.

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But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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