Santa, Jesus and Billy Graham
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09-03-2014, 11:24 AM (This post was last modified: 09-03-2014 11:45 AM by Momsurroundedbyboys.)
Santa, Jesus and Billy Graham
I use to work for Billy Graham and several other ministries and of all of them, Billy Graham was the one that was operated with the most integrity. Granted they are all WRONG, but at least BGEA was a well run, and from my perspective the one with the most integrity. So when I saw a web page from "The Cutting Edge" bashing my old boss Billy I thought I would have a little fun. It went something like this:

My Initial Email:

Dear People,

I have worked for Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, Jim Baker, "Carman", and many other religious "leaders", including Billy Graham. I can say first hand that of all the "ministries" I have worked for BGEA has been the best run business of them all, and trust me they are ALL businesses. Its hilarious for non Christians and sad for Christians that all of you claim to believe in the same invisible sky daddy, yet non of you self righteous fools can get along. You put your faith in a book that was written by losers that never even met this Jesus, years after the only son of this sky daddy was hung on a cross. (although there is no real evidence that this even happened).

I would like to thank you for the entertainment however. Its fun to watch the infighting. Keep up the entertainment.



Sincerely,
Jesus Christ Super Star
Bible of the Week Club, where we have a different version of the Bible to suit your own personal morality!!!!


Jonathan's Response:


Jonathan
I am afraid you will not be very entertained when you stand before God.
Please get your heart right before it is eternally too late.



Mac Dominick
Email address removed

My Rebuttal:


Mac Daddy,

Thanks for your judgment. That is one thing Christianity has perfected. However, the version of Christianity that I am running, I think it is version 104,559,849,498,489,949,847,698,489,849,849,838.2.5.1, says ONCE SAVED ALWAYS SAVED, and I was saved twice just to be sure. So, according to the Bible, which everyone knows is infallible, I'll see you in the heaven that I don't believe in. However, I am perfectly fine if you believe in it. (Just don't teach it in schools) Hell, I wish I could have lived my entire life believing in Santa Clause, but just because I realized Santa wasn't real, doesn't mean I don't want children to have the fantasy for as long as they can. In the same way, I am truly happy that you still believe in Santa, and Jesus. Actually now that I think about it, Jesus delivered my pizza last night, so I know he is real. Santa on the other hand, he has never delivered my pizza or cut my grass. He is a loser, but Jesus is cool and he trims my bush like a pro.

Merry Xmas,
J
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09-03-2014, 11:31 AM (This post was last modified: 09-03-2014 11:47 AM by Momsurroundedbyboys.)
RE: Santa, Jesus and Billy Graham
How do you know that
"they are all WRONG"?

(09-03-2014 11:24 AM)DeeJay522 Wrote:  I use to work for Billy Graham and several other ministries and of all of them, Billy Graham was the one that was operated with the most integrity. Granted they are all WRONG, but at least BGEA was a well run, and from my perspective the one with the most integrity. So when I saw a web page from "The Cutting Edge" bashing my old boss Billy I thought I would have a little fun. It went something like this:

My Initial Email:

Dear People,

I have worked for Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, Jim Baker, "Carman", and many other religious "leaders", including Billy Graham. I can say first hand that of all the "ministries" I have worked for BGEA has been the best run business of them all, and trust me they are ALL businesses. Its hilarious for non Christians and sad for Christians that all of you claim to believe in the same invisible sky daddy, yet non of you self righteous fools can get along. You put your faith in a book that was written by losers that never even met this Jesus, years after the only son of this sky daddy was hung on a cross. (although there is no real evidence that this even happened).

I would like to thank you for the entertainment however. Its fun to watch the infighting. Keep up the entertainment.



Sincerely,
Jesus Christ Super Star
Bible of the Week Club, where we have a different version of the Bible to suit your own personal morality!!!!


Jonathan's Response:


Jonathan
I am afraid you will not be very entertained when you stand before God.
Please get your heart right before it is eternally too late.



Mac Dominick
Email address removed.

My Rebuttal:


Mac Daddy,

Thanks for your judgment. That is one thing Christianity has perfected. However, the version of Christianity that I am running, I think it is version 104,559,849,498,489,949,847,698,489,849,849,838.2.5.1, says ONCE SAVED ALWAYS SAVED, and I was saved twice just to be sure. So, according to the Bible, which everyone knows is infallible, I'll see you in the heaven that I don't believe in. However, I am perfectly fine if you believe in it. (Just don't teach it in schools) Hell, I wish I could have lived my entire life believing in Santa Clause, but just because I realized Santa wasn't real, doesn't mean I don't want children to have the fantasy for as long as they can. In the same way, I am truly happy that you still believe in Santa, and Jesus. Actually now that I think about it, Jesus delivered my pizza last night, so I know he is real. Santa on the other hand, he has never delivered my pizza or cut my grass. He is a loser, but Jesus is cool and he trims my bush like a pro.

Merry Xmas,
J

Sometimes those who know the least, know the most.
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09-03-2014, 11:34 PM
RE: Santa, Jesus and Billy Graham
By all wrong, I mean all the evangelical ministries.....they all teach the deity of Christ....Wrong. Creation...wrong. Etc.
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09-03-2014, 11:53 PM
RE: Santa, Jesus and Billy Graham
I'll admit that of all of the more famous evangelicals, Graham at least seemed to have a handle on the fact that he was still just another fuck up like the rest of us. I'll give him points for that.

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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