Sarcasm done wrong?
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25-08-2015, 10:15 AM
Sarcasm done wrong?
No sarcasm here.

Tonight I met with two of my coworkers to plan a game of charades for the morning assembly. I suggested we needed female characters so they, both females, recommended Cinderilla. After we figured out the details I looked over at one of them and asked "so this is your one and only chance to be a princess, you wanna be Cinderilla?"

The other coworker said, with conviction, "ouch, that's mean, you should stop while your ahead." She was not sarcastic.

Behind my sarcasm: girls grow up wanting to be a princess, but in reality they can't. So I was making joke of that. "This is your one and only chance to be a princess."

Realizing that they didn't understand I was joking, I apologized and reframed my question. I left the meeting feeling like a complete jerk. When is sarcasm too much? Can you do sarcasm incorrectly?

“[Science] works! Planes fly. Cars drive. Computers compute. If you base medicine on science, you cure people. If you base the design of planes on science, they fly. If you base the design of rockets on science, they reach the moon. It works...bitches.” - Richie D Da Illest
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25-08-2015, 10:22 AM
RE: Sarcasm done wrong?
Sarcasm should be wielded carefully, especially with friends.
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25-08-2015, 10:28 AM
RE: Sarcasm done wrong?
(25-08-2015 10:22 AM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  Sarcasm should be wielded carefully, especially with friends.

Indeed. As a lifelong smartass, I've learned some lessons. To paraphrase a wise man: "With great sarcasm, comes great responsibility."

That being said, as I've gotten older, I care less and less about other's inability to take a joke. People like that don't last long in my world. Usually the last thing I say to them is "If you can't take a joke, don't be one."

In the workplace, you can't really get around it though. There will always be someone in the office that either doesn't get sarcasm, or thinks it is inappropriate. I've had a few visits to HR over someone getting butthurt at what should be an obvious joke. They REALLY don't appreciate it when you give a sarcastic apology...

Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up.

"Let me give you some advice, bastard: never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister
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25-08-2015, 10:34 AM
RE: Sarcasm done wrong?
(25-08-2015 10:15 AM)HappyTiger Wrote:  No sarcasm here.

Tonight I met with two of my coworkers to plan a game of charades for the morning assembly. I suggested we needed female characters so they, both females, recommended Cinderilla. After we figured out the details I looked over at one of them and asked "so this is your one and only chance to be a princess, you wanna be Cinderilla?"

The other coworker said, with conviction, "ouch, that's mean, you should stop while your ahead." She was not sarcastic.

Behind my sarcasm: girls grow up wanting to be a princess, but in reality they can't. So I was making joke of that. "This is your one and only chance to be a princess."

Realizing that they didn't understand I was joking, I apologized and reframed my question. I left the meeting feeling like a complete jerk. When is sarcasm too much? Can you do sarcasm incorrectly?

I don't see how your question was sarcastic. Consider

sar·casm - särˌkazəm
noun
the use of irony to mock or convey contempt.

She just read something into it that wasn't there.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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25-08-2015, 10:35 AM
RE: Sarcasm done wrong?
(25-08-2015 10:15 AM)HappyTiger Wrote:  No sarcasm here.

Tonight I met with two of my coworkers to plan a game of charades for the morning assembly. I suggested we needed female characters so they, both females, recommended Cinderilla. After we figured out the details I looked over at one of them and asked "so this is your one and only chance to be a princess, you wanna be Cinderilla?"

The other coworker said, with conviction, "ouch, that's mean, you should stop while your ahead." She was not sarcastic.

Behind my sarcasm: girls grow up wanting to be a princess, but in reality they can't. So I was making joke of that. "This is your one and only chance to be a princess."

Realizing that they didn't understand I was joking, I apologized and reframed my question. I left the meeting feeling like a complete jerk. When is sarcasm too much? Can you do sarcasm incorrectly?

An Aussie sheila from Tassy became Crown Princess of Denmark.

[Image: 1423001474922.jpg]

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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25-08-2015, 10:44 AM
RE: Sarcasm done wrong?
(25-08-2015 10:35 AM)Banjo Wrote:  
(25-08-2015 10:15 AM)HappyTiger Wrote:  No sarcasm here.

Tonight I met with two of my coworkers to plan a game of charades for the morning assembly. I suggested we needed female characters so they, both females, recommended Cinderilla. After we figured out the details I looked over at one of them and asked "so this is your one and only chance to be a princess, you wanna be Cinderilla?"

The other coworker said, with conviction, "ouch, that's mean, you should stop while your ahead." She was not sarcastic.

Behind my sarcasm: girls grow up wanting to be a princess, but in reality they can't. So I was making joke of that. "This is your one and only chance to be a princess."

Realizing that they didn't understand I was joking, I apologized and reframed my question. I left the meeting feeling like a complete jerk. When is sarcasm too much? Can you do sarcasm incorrectly?

An Aussie sheila from Tassy became Crown Princess of Denmark.

[Image: 1423001474922.jpg]

Oh, look at that. I guess dreams do come true.

“[Science] works! Planes fly. Cars drive. Computers compute. If you base medicine on science, you cure people. If you base the design of planes on science, they fly. If you base the design of rockets on science, they reach the moon. It works...bitches.” - Richie D Da Illest
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25-08-2015, 10:47 AM
RE: Sarcasm done wrong?
(25-08-2015 10:15 AM)HappyTiger Wrote:  No sarcasm here.

Tonight I met with two of my coworkers to plan a game of charades for the morning assembly. I suggested we needed female characters so they, both females, recommended Cinderilla. After we figured out the details I looked over at one of them and asked "so this is your one and only chance to be a princess, you wanna be Cinderilla?"

The other coworker said, with conviction, "ouch, that's mean, you should stop while your ahead." She was not sarcastic.

Behind my sarcasm: girls grow up wanting to be a princess, but in reality they can't. So I was making joke of that. "This is your one and only chance to be a princess."

Realizing that they didn't understand I was joking, I apologized and reframed my question. I left the meeting feeling like a complete jerk. When is sarcasm too much? Can you do sarcasm incorrectly?

You did the right thing in the situation by apologizing and rephrasing, and that is the opposite of being a jerk. Every once in a while you're going to hit a nerve that you didn't realize was so close to the surface.

Not all girls grow up wanting to be princesses, but let me propose a male version of the joke: say that Superman was going to be the choice instead of Cinderella and someone said to you, "This is your one and only chance to be a superhero" (or, worse, "hero"). Would you feel a little stung by that comment? I could see that some guys might, and some guys might not. And maybe it's not the term princess or superhero so much as "one and only chance to be" that's the phrase that feels judgmental.

IMO sarcasm is hard because its humor is based on tone and contradictory meanings. Especially hard online when we all we have are words and not inflections.

I think you handled the unexpected reaction well.
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25-08-2015, 10:49 AM
RE: Sarcasm done wrong?
(25-08-2015 10:44 AM)HappyTiger Wrote:  
(25-08-2015 10:35 AM)Banjo Wrote:  An Aussie sheila from Tassy became Crown Princess of Denmark.

[Image: 1423001474922.jpg]

Oh, look at that. I guess dreams do come true.

No you were just wrong. Smile

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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25-08-2015, 10:59 AM
RE: Sarcasm done wrong?
I was born and raised in New Jersey. My feeling the most Sarcastic State. I use it on a constant basis. Everyone uses it, it just part of the day to day life.

Then I moved to California. Here finding someone that gets sarcasm is like finding a piece of hay in a needle stack.

Don't Live each day like it's your last. Live each day like you have 541 days after that one where every choice you make will have lasting implications to you and the world around you. ~ Tim Minchin
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25-08-2015, 11:03 AM
RE: Sarcasm done wrong?
(25-08-2015 10:47 AM)julep Wrote:  
(25-08-2015 10:15 AM)HappyTiger Wrote:  No sarcasm here.

Tonight I met with two of my coworkers to plan a game of charades for the morning assembly. I suggested we needed female characters so they, both females, recommended Cinderilla. After we figured out the details I looked over at one of them and asked "so this is your one and only chance to be a princess, you wanna be Cinderilla?"

The other coworker said, with conviction, "ouch, that's mean, you should stop while your ahead." She was not sarcastic.

Behind my sarcasm: girls grow up wanting to be a princess, but in reality they can't. So I was making joke of that. "This is your one and only chance to be a princess."

Realizing that they didn't understand I was joking, I apologized and reframed my question. I left the meeting feeling like a complete jerk. When is sarcasm too much? Can you do sarcasm incorrectly?

You did the right thing in the situation by apologizing and rephrasing, and that is the opposite of being a jerk. Every once in a while you're going to hit a nerve that you didn't realize was so close to the surface.

Not all girls grow up wanting to be princesses, but let me propose a male version of the joke: say that Superman was going to be the choice instead of Cinderella and someone said to you, "This is your one and only chance to be a superhero" (or, worse, "hero"). Would you feel a little stung by that comment? I could see that some guys might, and some guys might not. And maybe it's not the term princess or superhero so much as "one and only chance to be" that's the phrase that feels judgmental.

IMO sarcasm is hard because its humor is based on tone and contradictory meanings. Especially hard online when we all we have are words and not inflections.

I think you handled the unexpected reaction well.

I've always had a tame personality but the past few months I stopped giving a crap and started saying whatever came to mind. My understanding of sarcasm is that it "tears flesh" and usually comes from a place of pain and is contradictory to the words used or emotions felt. I've had my hurt. I've been disappointed. But I've never lost hope that I could lift a truck with my bare hands one day.

“[Science] works! Planes fly. Cars drive. Computers compute. If you base medicine on science, you cure people. If you base the design of planes on science, they fly. If you base the design of rockets on science, they reach the moon. It works...bitches.” - Richie D Da Illest
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