Saw Noah this weekend
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
31-03-2014, 08:17 AM
Saw Noah this weekend
First, save your money. Wait for it on Netflix or Redbox.

Now, before you say anything, me disliking the film had nothing to do with religion or Christianity or anything like that. It is about the movie. Plain and simple. Now, on to my complaints.

The movie was incredibly BORING. It dragged on and on and on with very little positive character development.

My other complaint was where did Aronofsky get his source material. It sure wasn't from Genesis. Look, I know movies have to take "artistic license" with some things, but Aronofsky took this to a whole new level of absurd.

WTF was the golem things? I mean really? Where they supposed to be Nephilim? If so, they wouldn't have helped... they were pure evil. Were they the angels that guarded Eden? They never fell from heaven nor does it have anything else about them in scripture let alone them helping Noah. It seems like the rock monsters were created just for the movie. But... c'mon... it would be like Peter Jackson having space aliens in their UFOs helping Gandalf during the Battle of Helm's Deep.

All the glowing "magical" stones or ore that created fire. The incense that put things in a deep sleep. That's just plain stupid. Likewise, the magical growing of trees. Oh, and the random bad guy sneaking on to the ark. All of this was created for the movie.

Backpacks... closed shoes... tight fitting knit clothes with collars nonetheless. The clothing was a far cry from the time period.

Next, was the portrayal of Noah. He is portrayed as a raving, homicidal lunatic that wants everyone dead. This is completely different from the Noah in the Bible, and, if Noah was alive today, he could sue for slander.

The movie was just dumb... but mostly boring. I'm pissed that I wasted so much money on it for IMAX. But, I will say the visuals were incredible. They were beautiful and stunning.

So yeah... again, don't waste your money. Just wait for it on DVD or streaming.

[Image: vjp09.gif]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like kingschosen's post
31-03-2014, 08:24 AM (This post was last modified: 31-03-2014 08:28 AM by DLJ.)
RE: Saw Noah this weekend
Oh dear.

We'd better warn Chas.

You know how he hates movies that don't stick to the book.

Big Grin


EDIT: Just checking... Was Noah portrayed as 600 years old? It would be truly awful if they strayed from that piece of realism.

Dodgy

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 7 users Like DLJ's post
31-03-2014, 08:25 AM
RE: Saw Noah this weekend
(31-03-2014 08:17 AM)kingschosen Wrote:  But... c'mon... it would be like Peter Jackson having space aliens in their UFOs helping Gandalf during the Battle of Helm's Deep.

Yeah, compared to the books that's pretty much what did happen in the movies.

... this is my signature!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like cjlr's post
31-03-2014, 08:53 AM
RE: Saw Noah this weekend
http://blip.tv/the-cinema-snob/midnight-...ah-6793899

Fucking Rock Monsters Laugh out load

(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
31-03-2014, 09:09 AM
RE: Saw Noah this weekend
(31-03-2014 08:17 AM)kingschosen Wrote:  First, save your money. Wait for it on Netflix or Redbox.

Now, before you say anything, me disliking the film had nothing to do with religion or Christianity or anything like that. It is about the movie. Plain and simple. Now, on to my complaints.

The movie was incredibly BORING. It dragged on and on and on with very little positive character development.

My other complaint was where did Aronofsky get his source material. It sure wasn't from Genesis. Look, I know movies have to take "artistic license" with some things, but Aronofsky took this to a whole new level of absurd.

WTF was the golem things? I mean really? Where they supposed to be Nephilim? If so, they wouldn't have helped... they were pure evil. Were they the angels that guarded Eden? They never fell from heaven nor does it have anything else about them in scripture let alone them helping Noah. It seems like the rock monsters were created just for the movie. But... c'mon... it would be like Peter Jackson having space aliens in their UFOs helping Gandalf during the Battle of Helm's Deep.

All the glowing "magical" stones or ore that created fire. The incense that put things in a deep sleep. That's just plain stupid. Likewise, the magical growing of trees. Oh, and the random bad guy sneaking on to the ark. All of this was created for the movie.

Backpacks... closed shoes... tight fitting knit clothes with collars nonetheless. The clothing was a far cry from the time period.

Next, was the portrayal of Noah. He is portrayed as a raving, homicidal lunatic that wants everyone dead. This is completely different from the Noah in the Bible, and, if Noah was alive today, he could sue for slander.

The movie was just dumb... but mostly boring. I'm pissed that I wasted so much money on it for IMAX. But, I will say the visuals were incredible. They were beautiful and stunning.

So yeah... again, don't waste your money. Just wait for it on DVD or streaming.

Glad I read your spoiler, I don't think I would be entertained either.



Theism is to believe what other people claim, Atheism is to ask "why should I".
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like sporehux's post
31-03-2014, 09:12 AM
RE: Saw Noah this weekend
^^^ My favourite bit from Gladiator. Russell wears a skirt well. Yes

"The person who is certain, and who claims divine warrant for his certainty, belongs now to the infancy of our species." - Christopher Hitchens
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Eva's post
31-03-2014, 09:17 AM
RE: Saw Noah this weekend
I doubt I will bother. First of all the story is not one that I really want to see. And secondly...this will get some flack...I don't much care for Russell Crowe.

See here they are, the bruises, some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Anjele's post
31-03-2014, 10:15 AM
RE: Saw Noah this weekend
(31-03-2014 08:17 AM)kingschosen Wrote:  First, save your money. Wait for it on Netflix or Redbox.

Now, before you say anything, me disliking the film had nothing to do with religion or Christianity or anything like that. It is about the movie. Plain and simple. Now, on to my complaints.

Why on Earth would you waste money on that in the first place? Bad KC, bad! Where's my rolled up newspaper...

(31-03-2014 08:17 AM)kingschosen Wrote:  The movie was incredibly BORING. It dragged on and on and on with very little positive character development.

Dude, the Bible was fucking boring too though, it was so bad I barely got a halfway through Genesis; positively the worst-written book I have ever attempted (and failed) to read.

So credit to them for sticking to the initial material! Thumbsup

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Free Thought's post
31-03-2014, 10:47 AM
RE: Saw Noah this weekend
(31-03-2014 08:17 AM)kingschosen Wrote:  ...Were they the angels that guarded Eden?...

There was only one angel in that story.


(31-03-2014 08:17 AM)kingschosen Wrote:  Backpacks... closed shoes... tight fitting knit clothes with collars nonetheless. The clothing was a far cry from the time period.

Not to mention a 500 to 600 year old man made a boat that could fit two of every kind of animal on the earth. Totally historically inaccurate.


(31-03-2014 08:17 AM)kingschosen Wrote:  Next, was the portrayal of Noah. He is portrayed as a raving, homicidal lunatic that wants everyone dead. This is completely different from the Noah in the Bible, and, if Noah was alive today, he could sue for slander.

Did they at least depict him as a drunk, who likely had sex with his own daughter, and daughters in law, and who placed an entire group of his decedents forever in slavery because he got too drunk one night? That would at least be "accurate".

...
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Raptor Jesus's post
31-03-2014, 12:05 PM
RE: Saw Noah this weekend
Did the film explain sufficiently how Noah managed to collect all of the animals? Did he get the saltwater fish mixed up with the freshwater ones?

I hope they showed what Noah fed the carnivores, how he kept them all apart from each other, all whilst cleaning them out for the whole four months he was on the "ark"

Was there dinosaurs?

For no matter how much I use these symbols, to describe symptoms of my existence.
You are your own emphasis.
So I say nothing.

-Bemore.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes bemore's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: