Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
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06-11-2014, 01:39 AM (This post was last modified: 06-11-2014 01:55 AM by Adrianime.)
Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
Scenario: You bought a house (mortgage) and the significant other moves in (in this scenario marriage is not currently being discussed). This is YOUR purchase, and not a shared purchase (so your significant other is at no risk if you become unable to pay). Do you charge rent? How much? If not, why?

I have read hundreds of comments on this on random sites, and I find it so interesting that a large percentage of people think, "They shouldn't be charged anything!!! How could you charge rent to somebody you are trying to have a relationship with??" Which honestly makes absolutely no sense to me. As an adult I can't imagine living on ANYBODY else's property without paying rent (with the exception of a friend or family member helping me out if I was at a rough patch in my life, which would still likely be an "IOU").

My personal take is that charging the significant other an amount 20-50% less than market rent (how much less would depend on their current living costs) would be fair and reasonable.

I'm curious of your opinions, if you are willing to share.

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06-11-2014, 01:54 AM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
If you were to charge rent I would set up a formal contract.
If she is just giving you money as rent she could argue at a later date that she was contributing to the repayments of the house and would have some sort of claim on it if you were to break up which would require that you either buy her out or the house is sold. Assuming you live together for the required period (I believe it's about 2 years).

The rental contract isn't technically required and I think most people would be able to handle things like adults, but you can't see into the future and it doesn't hurt to cover your ass.

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06-11-2014, 02:05 AM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
I can't imagine someone moving into anyone elses home and expecting it to be free. (Unless they're in financial trouble)
At the very least they should be helping out with the utilities.
Also what Muffs said...best to cover your ass.
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06-11-2014, 02:13 AM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
It varies a lot depending on your situation, cultural context, long term goals, and most importantly how good the sex is, and should probably be discussed before the actual move in. There is no definitive right or wrong answer, so long as that answer is agreed upon.

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06-11-2014, 05:55 AM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
(06-11-2014 02:05 AM)pablo Wrote:  I can't imagine someone moving into anyone elses home and expecting it to be free. (Unless they're in financial trouble)
At the very least they should be helping out with the utilities.
Also what Muffs said...best to cover your ass.

Actually utilities is a good idea.
Rather than have her pay rent, have her pay for power, internet etc..
So it's like she's paying rent but her money is actually going towards living costs and not mortgage repayments and so you can avoid the rental contract and avoid her forming a claim against your house.
Plus it's far easier to disguise (that you don't want her forming a claim on your house) and makes for a nicer conversation.

And yea, as Pablo said, I don't think anyone would expect to live with someone else free of charge.

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06-11-2014, 06:17 AM (This post was last modified: 06-11-2014 07:44 AM by Bows and Arrows.)
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
Is she still paying for her own place? And just spending all her time with you?

Do you WANT her living with you? If so,then a quick, if you are going to live here then you need to help with the bills needs to be said.

Is she doing all the housework? washing your clothes, scrubbing the shower? mowing the lawn?


I have done it, but it was mutual....and the sex was good so we were both happy, and he knew I was broke and he had more money to blow.

20 years and two kids later its still good.


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06-11-2014, 07:16 AM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
(06-11-2014 01:39 AM)Adrianime Wrote:  Scenario: You bought a house (mortgage) and the significant other moves in (in this scenario marriage is not currently being discussed). This is YOUR purchase, and not a shared purchase (so your significant other is at no risk if you become unable to pay). Do you charge rent? How much? If not, why?

I have read hundreds of comments on this on random sites, and I find it so interesting that a large percentage of people think, "They shouldn't be charged anything!!! How could you charge rent to somebody you are trying to have a relationship with??" Which honestly makes absolutely no sense to me. As an adult I can't imagine living on ANYBODY else's property without paying rent (with the exception of a friend or family member helping me out if I was at a rough patch in my life, which would still likely be an "IOU").

My personal take is that charging the significant other an amount 20-50% less than market rent (how much less would depend on their current living costs) would be fair and reasonable.

I'm curious of your opinions, if you are willing to share.
I guess it depends on the seriousness of the relationship. As you said in this scenario marriage is not being discussed but does that really matter. What if the couple in question actually got married? Should the title holder charge rent to a partner then? And if so what difference does a piece of paper make?
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06-11-2014, 08:41 AM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
My boyfriend and I have lived together almost four years now. We split all costs. When I first moved in with him, he was paying his rent, so I contributed groceries for the both of us (close to equal, since he had other roommates pitching in for rent and utilities) When we moved to our own place, we decided to split everything cost-wise. I feel better about things that way. I start to resent someone if I feel like I'm paying for them to live. Don't let unnecessary resentment in your relationship, just talk about it.

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06-11-2014, 08:44 AM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
(06-11-2014 08:41 AM)Colourcraze Wrote:  My boyfriend and I have lived together almost four years now. We split all costs. When I first moved in with him, he was paying his rent, so I contributed groceries for the both of us (close to equal, since he had other roommates pitching in for rent and utilities) When we moved to our own place, we decided to split everything cost-wise. I feel better about things that way. I start to resent someone if I feel like I'm paying for them to live. Don't let unnecessary resentment in your relationship, just talk about it.

It's a bit different because you are both renting and just sharing living expenses.

With the OP, the owner of the house profits from the relationship while the partner does not.

Question: If your partner was not moving in, would you have a renter?

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06-11-2014, 08:49 AM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
If it were me I would look to split the expenses including food, but pay the mortgage all myself. Not sure how it would flake out down the road, but I would want to make sure there was no way they could make a claim against the property if the relationship ended. If the other person had not moved in I would still be on the hook for all the mortgage so really nothing loss by paying it all anyway.
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