Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
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06-11-2014, 09:14 AM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
(06-11-2014 06:17 AM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  Is she still paying for her own place? And just spending all her time with you?

Do you WANT her living with you? If so,then a quick, if you are going to live here then you need to help with the bills needs to be said.

Is she doing all the housework? washing your clothes, scrubbing the shower? mowing the lawn?
My specific situation is already taken care of. I'm just curious what others would do. In my scenario she does not have her own place, of course I want her living with me, and housework is shared mostly equally.

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06-11-2014, 09:29 AM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
Oh, this is truly hypothetical then. It really depends on the situation. I don't know that I'd charge rent exactly. I would expect some cash be kicked over for some expenses (like food -- electricity) I would expect them to share housework.

Blah blah blah.

One of my friends lived with her boyfriend for more than a decade, but still kept her apartment. He didn't charge her anything to live with him.

By the time her relationship had ended she had saved a good deal of money.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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06-11-2014, 09:31 AM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
(06-11-2014 09:29 AM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  Oh, this is truly hypothetical then. It really depends on the situation.

Well; quite.

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06-11-2014, 12:14 PM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
(06-11-2014 09:31 AM)cjlr Wrote:  
(06-11-2014 09:29 AM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  Oh, this is truly hypothetical then. It really depends on the situation.

Well; quite.
Go ahead and, while under the umbrella of the scenario given, come up with a realistic/common situation, or set of situations, and then offer your input on that/those. Only if you wish.

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06-11-2014, 12:22 PM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
(06-11-2014 09:29 AM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  Oh, this is truly hypothetical then. It really depends on the situation. I don't know that I'd charge rent exactly. I would expect some cash be kicked over for some expenses (like food -- electricity) I would expect them to share housework.
I see. So essentially they don't pay for their housing, just for the things they do in the house?

Quote:One of my friends lived with her boyfriend for more than a decade, but still kept her apartment. He didn't charge her anything to live with him.

By the time her relationship had ended she had saved a good deal of money.
To me that almost *does not compute*. I understand not charging rent if she has her own place. But then what does "living with him" even mean? Wouldn't that be more like, "she stayed at his place most of the time"? If she can't call the place her own then I wouldn't call that living with him. I guess I'm a little confused.

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06-11-2014, 12:43 PM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
(06-11-2014 02:13 AM)yakherder Wrote:  There is no definitive right or wrong answer, so long as that answer is agreed upon.
I know there is no right or wrong, just looking for individual opinions. I like reading what people would do.

(06-11-2014 05:55 AM)earmuffs Wrote:  
(06-11-2014 02:05 AM)pablo Wrote:  I can't imagine someone moving into anyone elses home and expecting it to be free. (Unless they're in financial trouble)
At the very least they should be helping out with the utilities.
Also what Muffs said...best to cover your ass.

Actually utilities is a good idea.
Rather than have her pay rent, have her pay for power, internet etc..
So it's like she's paying rent but her money is actually going towards living costs and not mortgage repayments and so you can avoid the rental contract and avoid her forming a claim against your house.
Plus it's far easier to disguise (that you don't want her forming a claim on your house) and makes for a nicer conversation.
Yeah, I've seen that argument quite a bit. To me it just seems like an abstraction (or rather the "rent" would be the abstraction) because the rent money would be going into paying for these things anyways. Plus with rent the SO will have a true rental history.
Quote:And yea, as Pablo said, I don't think anyone would expect to live with someone else free of charge.
I've read many opinions that differ greatly. Soooo many people (who through observation, were mostly women), say things along the lines of, "If he is charging rent, he obviously doesn't care about her." Or, "She needs to find a new man who can APPRECIATE that she wants to even live with him!" Or "I wouldn't give him a dime, and I'd be offended if he asked." Most people would totally understand splitting rent if it were a rented home. But if one person takes the risk to buy the home it becomes offensive to expect them to do what they would be doing anyways (and at a lower cost!). I don't get it.

(06-11-2014 07:16 AM)Drunkin Druid Wrote:  I guess it depends on the seriousness of the relationship. As you said in this scenario marriage is not being discussed but does that really matter. What if the couple in question actually got married? Should the title holder charge rent to a partner then? And if so what difference does a piece of paper make?
If the couple got married in my scenario, he would continue to own this particular home, but if they bought a house in the future, the current home would be sold, and the future home would likely be a joint purchase. (I believe in prenuptial agreements).

(06-11-2014 08:41 AM)Colourcraze Wrote:  My boyfriend and I have lived together almost four years now. We split all costs. When I first moved in with him, he was paying his rent, so I contributed groceries for the both of us (close to equal, since he had other roommates pitching in for rent and utilities) When we moved to our own place, we decided to split everything cost-wise. I feel better about things that way. I start to resent someone if I feel like I'm paying for them to live. Don't let unnecessary resentment in your relationship, just talk about it.
As Dom pointed out, it's a little different of a scenario when one person actually owns the property. But I think what you said, "I start to resent someone if I feel like I'm paying for them to live" is a reasonable outlook. Nobody likes being used.

(06-11-2014 08:44 AM)Dom Wrote:  Question: If your partner was not moving in, would you have a renter?
Yes, actually I was initially planning on getting a renter along with her moving in (and her contributing what we decided she would). But we decided it just wouldn't feel comfortable trying to accommodate a 3rd adult.

(06-11-2014 08:49 AM)wazzel Wrote:  If it were me I would look to split the expenses including food, but pay the mortgage all myself. Not sure how it would flake out down the road, but I would want to make sure there was no way they could make a claim against the property if the relationship ended. If the other person had not moved in I would still be on the hook for all the mortgage so really nothing loss by paying it all anyway.
Thanks for the input!

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06-11-2014, 12:47 PM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
(06-11-2014 01:39 AM)Adrianime Wrote:  Scenario: You bought a house (mortgage) and the significant other moves in (in this scenario marriage is not currently being discussed). This is YOUR purchase, and not a shared purchase (so your significant other is at no risk if you become unable to pay). Do you charge rent? How much? If not, why?
Do you guys have the concept of defacto relationship?

In my country if you are living together with a sexual partner for a period (3 years - I think) then she/he is entitled to half your stuff.
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06-11-2014, 01:04 PM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
(06-11-2014 12:47 PM)Stevil Wrote:  Do you guys have the concept of defacto relationship?

In my country if you are living together with a sexual partner for a period (3 years - I think) then she/he is entitled to half your stuff.
I think the closest thing is probably common-law marriages, which would never apply to me. I might ask my family member who is a lawyer very familiar with this stuff.

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06-11-2014, 01:07 PM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
I don't like the word "charge" here.
I think the right word is "share" and it's something you wouldn't have to ask.

Now if your SO doesn't help with that, it might be a reason to rethink your relationship unless you don't care.

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06-11-2014, 01:26 PM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
(06-11-2014 01:07 PM)KVron Wrote:  I don't like the word "charge" here.
I think the right word is "share" and it's something you wouldn't have to ask.

Now if your SO doesn't help with that, it might be a reason to rethink your relationship unless you don't care.
Well, the title says charge because I intended to post "Do you ask for rent?" but I ran out of allowable characters in my title.

But ultimately it is charging, not sharing, so I don't have much problem with the word choice. It isn't a shared responsibility, or a shared debt, or a shared ownership (in this scenario).

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