Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
06-11-2014, 01:36 PM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
I would go with a keep sort of system... Where you simply ask that your partner contribute financially towards the home. Whether that's through paying half the rent, electricity bill, phone bill, gas, water etc...

You'd have to sit down and work it out with your partner, but I think its only fair that since you're both living under the same roof, and using the same services, you should both contribute.

[img]

via GIPHY

[/img]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
06-11-2014, 02:39 PM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
Well, I have done this in the past. One relationship lasted 3 months ( I booted his lazy ass), the other one 3 years, the third til death do us part.

Since there were no commitments as far as the relationships went, I let them move into my house and set no rules. Good way to really get to know someone.

Mr. Lazy moved in, did nothing and expected to be fed. Waste of time and money, so even though he was charming, I fed him to the lions. Tongue

Mr. Sexy moved in, fixed my car, did the dishes, ran errands and occasionally bought and cooked food. Worked for me until the sexy part wore off - relationships based on sex don't last beyond the thrills. But it was a good 3 years, left good memories.

Mr. Permanent moved in, paid his way, did the laundry, cleaned and made me laugh a lot. After a year we got married and bought a place together.

That's how I did it. Oh, and each of them had to be pre-approved by my Saint Bernard, and he was not fond of men.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 5 users Like Dom's post
06-11-2014, 03:02 PM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
(06-11-2014 12:22 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  
(06-11-2014 09:29 AM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  Oh, this is truly hypothetical then. It really depends on the situation. I don't know that I'd charge rent exactly. I would expect some cash be kicked over for some expenses (like food -- electricity) I would expect them to share housework.
I see. So essentially they don't pay for their housing, just for the things they do in the house?

Quote:One of my friends lived with her boyfriend for more than a decade, but still kept her apartment. He didn't charge her anything to live with him.

By the time her relationship had ended she had saved a good deal of money.
To me that almost *does not compute*. I understand not charging rent if she has her own place. But then what does "living with him" even mean? Wouldn't that be more like, "she stayed at his place most of the time"? If she can't call the place her own then I wouldn't call that living with him. I guess I'm a little confused.

If I own the home and aren't looking for a roommate to share my expanses so I afford said home, then yes I would only ask them to help with utilities, food expenses and other crap. If I lived alone the burden would be mine anyway.

Regarding my friend. 90% of her clothes were at his place, and they lived together in his house. She went to her place about once a month for an hour or less to tidy up, (dust vacuum), and pay her rent. Her water, garbage and cable were included in her rent. Her only other bill was for electricity and since she was never there was next to nothing. He never once asked or accepted payment for anything including food.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Momsurroundedbyboys's post
06-11-2014, 03:17 PM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
(06-11-2014 12:47 PM)Stevil Wrote:  Do you guys have the concept of defacto relationship?

In my country if you are living together with a sexual partner for a period (3 years - I think) then she/he is entitled to half your stuff.

Most British legal tradition inherited the idea of common-law relationships, though it only remains in Canada, Australia, NZ, and some US states.

But in none of the jurisdictions I am aware of does recognition of one entitle a partner to "half your stuff"; hell, solemnized marriages don't work like that...

... this is my signature!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
06-11-2014, 03:19 PM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
(06-11-2014 12:14 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  
(06-11-2014 09:31 AM)cjlr Wrote:  Well; quite.
Go ahead and, while under the umbrella of the scenario given, come up with a realistic/common situation, or set of situations, and then offer your input on that/those. Only if you wish.

I don't see much point in addressing specific random hypotheticals out of the innumerable constellation of possibilities.

I can say that I if the two people in question cannot come to agreement without getting lawyers involved I wouldn't be too optimistic about the future of the relationship.

... this is my signature!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes cjlr's post
06-11-2014, 04:02 PM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
(06-11-2014 01:39 AM)Adrianime Wrote:  Scenario: You bought a house (mortgage) and the significant other moves in (in this scenario marriage is not currently being discussed). This is YOUR purchase, and not a shared purchase (so your significant other is at no risk if you become unable to pay). Do you charge rent? How much? If not, why?

I have read hundreds of comments on this on random sites, and I find it so interesting that a large percentage of people think, "They shouldn't be charged anything!!! How could you charge rent to somebody you are trying to have a relationship with??" Which honestly makes absolutely no sense to me. As an adult I can't imagine living on ANYBODY else's property without paying rent (with the exception of a friend or family member helping me out if I was at a rough patch in my life, which would still likely be an "IOU").

My personal take is that charging the significant other an amount 20-50% less than market rent (how much less would depend on their current living costs) would be fair and reasonable.

I'm curious of your opinions, if you are willing to share.

Dude. Your SO should be paying half the mortgage. If she can't afford the entire thing, then she should be contributing at least 1/3 of her paycheck toward it. 1/3 should go towards other bills, 15% into savings and the rest for incidentals.

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day - Bill Watterson
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Cathym112's post
06-11-2014, 04:05 PM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
(06-11-2014 12:47 PM)Stevil Wrote:  
(06-11-2014 01:39 AM)Adrianime Wrote:  Scenario: You bought a house (mortgage) and the significant other moves in (in this scenario marriage is not currently being discussed). This is YOUR purchase, and not a shared purchase (so your significant other is at no risk if you become unable to pay). Do you charge rent? How much? If not, why?
Do you guys have the concept of defacto relationship?

In my country if you are living together with a sexual partner for a period (3 years - I think) then she/he is entitled to half your stuff.

good thing he is in the US. Anything that you owned prior to the marriage (common law or otherwise) will always remain yours, including the equity in your house.

Just don't comingle all your bank accounts and you are fine. Have one joint checking for paying joint bills or making joint purchases, but keep everything else separate.

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day - Bill Watterson
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
06-11-2014, 04:15 PM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
(06-11-2014 03:02 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  
(06-11-2014 12:22 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  I see. So essentially they don't pay for their housing, just for the things they do in the house?

To me that almost *does not compute*. I understand not charging rent if she has her own place. But then what does "living with him" even mean? Wouldn't that be more like, "she stayed at his place most of the time"? If she can't call the place her own then I wouldn't call that living with him. I guess I'm a little confused.

If I own the home and aren't looking for a roommate to share my expanses so I afford said home, then yes I would only ask them to help with utilities, food expenses and other crap. If I lived alone the burden would be mine anyway.

Regarding my friend. 90% of her clothes were at his place, and they lived together in his house. She went to her place about once a month for an hour or less to tidy up, (dust vacuum), and pay her rent. Her water, garbage and cable were included in her rent. Her only other bill was for electricity and since she was never there was next to nothing. He never once asked or accepted payment for anything including food.

This has been my experience too. I am living with them or they with me because we want to be together. Expenses just sorted themselves out. Some relationships I made the money, some they did, some we both did.

I have noticed some people are all about things being fair, 50/50, everything is equal and it seems like a score or tally sheet is kept. but other people (me) just go with the flow. If I am in love, or atleast making you a regular sex partner that its beginning to feel like we live together then we are both contributing in some way, for the benefit of both of us, whether that is money or other means (laundry, cooking, being dreamy to look at and fun to sleep with) whatever, it all works out in the end, IMO.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
06-11-2014, 04:16 PM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
(06-11-2014 03:19 PM)cjlr Wrote:  I don't see much point in addressing specific random hypotheticals out of the innumerable constellation of possibilities.
Meh, it's just the purpose of this thread, that's all.
Quote:I can say that I if the two people in question cannot come to agreement without getting lawyers involved I wouldn't be too optimistic about the future of the relationship.
Hmm, I don't fully agree. Because to properly form a legal agreement a lawyer is often necessary. If one party wishes to form such an agreement, (a prenup, for example) then that's their own personal form of self protection. I suppose it depends on how romantic you want to be. It's apparently more common to say, "I love you and we will be together forever! There is no need to think about what will happen if we ever break up." Yet courts are filled with ex-couples disputing who owns/gets what. These disputes could easily be avoided if they went to a lawyer before combining or sharing assets and drew up a proper document which outlines what to do in the case of separation.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
06-11-2014, 04:25 PM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
(06-11-2014 04:16 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  
(06-11-2014 03:19 PM)cjlr Wrote:  I don't see much point in addressing specific random hypotheticals out of the innumerable constellation of possibilities.
Meh, it's just the purpose of this thread, that's all.

I can invent a scenario and address that, but it will be impossible to generalise from that single judgement.

Unless you find yourself in that exact scenario, my advice won't get you very far.

(06-11-2014 04:16 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  
Quote:I can say that I if the two people in question cannot come to agreement without getting lawyers involved I wouldn't be too optimistic about the future of the relationship.
Hmm, I don't fully agree. Because to properly form a legal agreement a lawyer is often necessary. If one party wishes to form such an agreement, (a prenup, for example) then that's their own personal form of self protection. I suppose it depends on how romantic you want to be. It's apparently more common to say, "I love you and we will be together forever! There is no need to think about what will happen if we ever break up." Yet courts are filled with ex-couples disputing who owns/gets what. These disputes could easily be avoided if they went to a lawyer before combining or sharing assets and drew up a proper document which outlines what to do in the case of separation.

I was speaking to the matter of coming to agreements. It is only prudent to have more than hearsay attesting that should they be made. A great many disputes arise despite pre-existing legal agreements, and most of the rest arise when the existing (informal) agreements end.

In the scenario you posited in your OP, one partner has already bought and paid for the residence (let's call them A) and the other (B) has already moved in. Whereas I'd say it's only reasonable to sort out these types of things before taking that step. People who are already living together have already come to some agreement - maybe it was premature, maybe it was insufficiently thought out, maybe it was purely informal, but it's a problem of their own making.

The most obvious variables were already addressed - whether one was expecting additional contributors or tenants most prominently, but also the means of either partner.

... this is my signature!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: