Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
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06-11-2014, 04:40 PM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
I wouldn't charge her a dime. And I wouldn't let her use my mailing address (she can get a PO Box). Once she establishes residency in your abode and then dumps your sorry ass it's gonna be hard as hell to get her out anyway.

There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
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06-11-2014, 04:45 PM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
(06-11-2014 04:25 PM)cjlr Wrote:  I can invent a scenario and address that, but it will be impossible to generalise from that single judgement.

Unless you find yourself in that exact scenario, my advice won't get you very far.
You'd be surprised at how often a lurker can happen upon a forum where some random person just happened to be talking about an almost identical situation to their own. It's happened several times to me.
Quote:I was speaking to the matter of coming to agreements. It is only prudent to have more than hearsay attesting that should they be made. A great many disputes arise despite pre-existing legal agreements, and most of the rest arise when the existing (informal) agreements end.

In the scenario you posited in your OP, one partner has already bought and paid for the residence (let's call them A) and the other (B) has already moved in. Whereas I'd say it's only reasonable to sort out these types of things before taking that step. People who are already living together have already come to some agreement - maybe it was premature, maybe it was insufficiently thought out, maybe it was purely informal, but it's a problem of their own making.

The most obvious variables were already addressed - whether one was expecting additional contributors or tenants most prominently, but also the means of either partner.
I agree the terms of the agreement shouldn't need legal counsel. I maybe should have made my OP more clear. This wouldn't be an "after the fact" type of decision (although that scenario would be interesting to consider as well). I would consider it very unwise to move in together without first coming up with an agreement of what would be expected from both parties.

Addressing the means of either partner is interesting. I enjoy reading people's this with that being a major factor.

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06-11-2014, 04:53 PM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
(06-11-2014 04:02 PM)Cathym112 Wrote:  Dude. Your SO should be paying half the mortgage. If she can't afford the entire thing, then she should be contributing at least 1/3 of her paycheck toward it. 1/3 should go towards other bills, 15% into savings and the rest for incidentals.

I don't think the cost of the mortgage directly factors in because she has no stake in the property. Not to mention that the mortgage is heavily influenced by down payment size and your interest rate. That's why I personally think of it more of a function on the market rate for rent, because then she knows she is saving money over living elsewhere (and she gets a whole lot of extra perks such as decoration/ lots of space, new appliances, huge kitchen, etc).

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06-11-2014, 04:59 PM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
(06-11-2014 04:40 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  I wouldn't charge her a dime. And I wouldn't let her use my mailing address (she can get a PO Box). Once she establishes residency in your abode and then dumps your sorry ass it's gonna be hard as hell to get her out anyway.
I can't tell if you are making a point, offering advice, or throwing an insult. Feel free to elaborate!

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06-11-2014, 05:28 PM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
(06-11-2014 04:59 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  
(06-11-2014 04:40 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  I wouldn't charge her a dime. And I wouldn't let her use my mailing address (she can get a PO Box). Once she establishes residency in your abode and then dumps your sorry ass it's gonna be hard as hell to get her out anyway.
I can't tell if you are making a point, offering advice, or throwing an insult. Feel free to elaborate!

Yes.

There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
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06-11-2014, 11:39 PM (This post was last modified: 06-11-2014 11:48 PM by Stevil.)
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
(06-11-2014 03:17 PM)cjlr Wrote:  
(06-11-2014 12:47 PM)Stevil Wrote:  Do you guys have the concept of defacto relationship?

In my country if you are living together with a sexual partner for a period (3 years - I think) then she/he is entitled to half your stuff.

Most British legal tradition inherited the idea of common-law relationships, though it only remains in Canada, Australia, NZ, and some US states.

But in none of the jurisdictions I am aware of does recognition of one entitle a partner to "half your stuff"; hell, solemnized marriages don't work like that...

in NZ they get half your stuff
http://www.howtolaw.co/division-of-prope...nds-392064
Quote:The property of married, civil union and de facto couples (including same-sex couples) who have lived together for at least three years is divided (if there is a dispute) according to 'equal-sharing rules' under the Property (Relationships) Act.
...
A de facto relationship means a relationship between a woman and a man, or a woman and a woman, or a man and a man, who:

live together as a couple, but are not married to each other, and
are both 18 or older

In Australia they may have a significant entitlement
http://www.landers.com.au/publications/f...-is-yours/

Don't know about England or USA, but a quick perusal suggests that you ought to be careful in England.
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06-11-2014, 11:51 PM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
(06-11-2014 01:39 AM)Adrianime Wrote:  Scenario: You bought a house (mortgage) and the significant other moves in (in this scenario marriage is not currently being discussed). This is YOUR purchase, and not a shared purchase (so your significant other is at no risk if you become unable to pay). Do you charge rent? How much? If not, why?

I have read hundreds of comments on this on random sites, and I find it so interesting that a large percentage of people think, "They shouldn't be charged anything!!! How could you charge rent to somebody you are trying to have a relationship with??" Which honestly makes absolutely no sense to me. As an adult I can't imagine living on ANYBODY else's property without paying rent (with the exception of a friend or family member helping me out if I was at a rough patch in my life, which would still likely be an "IOU").

My personal take is that charging the significant other an amount 20-50% less than market rent (how much less would depend on their current living costs) would be fair and reasonable.

I'm curious of your opinions, if you are willing to share.

I'd fully expect the supposed SO to pick up the slack in terms of house maintenance and living expenses (food, utilities); in such an instance we are both draining resources and creating mess, so it strikes me as perfectly reasonable that the SSO would cover the cost of their resource suck.

However, I would refuse to have them pay toward house payments. That shit is my responsibility; I made me that debt to pay and it is my task alone to do so.
Besides, it strikes me a churlish to charge a person with whom I would assumedly be in a serious relationship to live with me.

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06-11-2014, 11:52 PM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
There is nothing hypothetical about this at all.

I don't charge but I expect 'services' in return. This wasn't always the case but lesson have been learned and boundaries are now set.

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07-11-2014, 06:28 AM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
Quote:I've read many opinions that differ greatly. Soooo many people (who through observation, were mostly women), say things along the lines of, "If he is charging rent, he obviously doesn't care about her." Or, "She needs to find a new man who can APPRECIATE that she wants to even live with him!" Or "I wouldn't give him a dime, and I'd be offended if he asked." Most people would totally understand splitting rent if it were a rented home. But if one person takes the risk to buy the home it becomes offensive to expect them to do what they would be doing anyways (and at a lower cost!). I don't get it.

And that sense of self importance is exactly why every single one of those bitches are single.

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07-11-2014, 07:20 AM
RE: Scenario: You bought a house, and your significant other moves in. Do you charge?
(06-11-2014 04:53 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  
(06-11-2014 04:02 PM)Cathym112 Wrote:  Dude. Your SO should be paying half the mortgage. If she can't afford the entire thing, then she should be contributing at least 1/3 of her paycheck toward it. 1/3 should go towards other bills, 15% into savings and the rest for incidentals.

I don't think the cost of the mortgage directly factors in because she has no stake in the property. Not to mention that the mortgage is heavily influenced by down payment size and your interest rate. That's why I personally think of it more of a function on the market rate for rent, because then she knows she is saving money over living elsewhere (and she gets a whole lot of extra perks such as decoration/ lots of space, new appliances, huge kitchen, etc).

Look dude - you are over analyzing this way too much. The mortgage is what it costs to live there. It's paying rent to yourself. The reason why it's paying rent to yourself is because even if you sell the house, you will never get everything you paid into the house (repairs, upgrades, etc.) back. People get confused over this, understandably so when cnn money writes misleading articles about real estate. Specifically, when they say you will get 70% return on your asset, that means you LOSE 30%. It's extremely rare that people get all their money back in terms of appreciation.

A mortgage is no different than rent. I promise you that any rent you paid before you owned was the price of the mortgage, tax, water consumption and a few hundred more to cover repairs. Most landlords don't rent for less than the expense of owning it. That would be stupid.

Therefore, she she cover half the damn mortgage. It's rent.

This is suppose to be your significant other. Your PARTNER. No one gets to live rent free. A partner that balks at the thought of contributing to a future together is someone you should not be partnered with.

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day - Bill Watterson
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