Science Jokes
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07-07-2013, 01:05 PM
Video Science Jokes
Prepare to groan.....

Schrodinger's Cat walks into a bar.............and doesn't!




"IN THRUST WE TRUST"

"We were conservative Jews and that meant we obeyed God's Commandments until His rules became a royal pain in the ass."

- Joel Chastnoff, The 188th Crybaby Brigade
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07-07-2013, 01:39 PM
RE: Science Jokes
Reminds me of this joke:

"Two scientists walk into a bar

The first scientist says ‘I’ll have a glass of H2O”

The second scientist says ‘I’ll have a glass of water too. Wh… why did you say H2O? Like, I know it’s the chemical formula for water and all, but it’s the end of the day and there’s really no need to intentionally over-complicate things like that in a situation outside of work”

The first scientist stares at his drink, angry that his assassination plan has failed."

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07-07-2013, 01:41 PM
RE: Science Jokes
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26-07-2013, 12:27 PM
RE: Science Jokes
Found a bunch of these. Not just science, but close enough. Big Grin

“Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?”

“Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafe, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress, 'I'd like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.' The waitress replies, 'I'm sorry, Monsieur, but we're out of cream. How about with no milk?' ”

“A programmer's wife tells him: ‘Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.’ The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.”

“A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5ft to the left, the chemist takes a shot and misses 5ft to the right, and the statistician yells, ‘We got ‘im!’ ”

“So this classics professor goes to a tailor to get his pants mended. The tailor asks, ‘Euripedes?’ The professor replies, ‘Yes. Eumenides?’ ”

“Werner Heisenberg, Kurt Gödel, and Noam Chomsky walk into a bar. Heisenberg turns to the other two and says, ‘Clearly this is a joke, but how can we figure out if it's funny or not?’ Gödel replies, ‘We can't know that because we're inside the joke.’ Chomsky says, ‘Of course it's funny. You're just telling it wrong.’ ”

“Pavlov is sitting at a pub enjoying a pint, the phone rings and he jumps up shouting, ‘Oh shit, I forgot to feed the dog!’ ”

“It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.”

I am us and we is me. ... bitches.
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26-07-2013, 01:47 PM
RE: Science Jokes
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26-07-2013, 02:06 PM
RE: Science Jokes
hehehehehehehe ... scary smart Asian chick.

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26-07-2013, 02:13 PM
RE: Science Jokes
(26-07-2013 02:06 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  hehehehehehehe ... scary smart Asian chick.

[Image: highschool.jpg]

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(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
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26-07-2013, 02:34 PM
RE: Science Jokes
(26-07-2013 02:06 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  hehehehehehehe ... scary smart Asian chick.

[Image: highschool.jpg]

She got away with it? Heh heh. Thumbsup

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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24-03-2014, 09:40 AM
RE: Science Jokes
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Onward, my faithful steed!
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24-03-2014, 09:45 AM
RE: Science Jokes
Werner Heisenberg is driving down the street when he is pulled over. The cop approaches him and asks. "Sir, do you know how fast you were going" Heisenberg replies, "No, but I can tell you exactly where I am."

She turned me into a NEWT. I got better, though.

"Let me give you some advice, bastard: never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister
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