Scientific Evidence for Santa Claus
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04-12-2015, 10:07 AM
Scientific Evidence for Santa Claus
My youngest daughter, aged 9, asked me last night if there was any scientific evidence for Santa. I asked her what she thought. She said she was pretty sure that there wasn't any.

Before I continue, let me point out that all my friends and family know me as the killjoy skeptic that always poo-poos all over the new fads and debunks the stupid hoaxes they repost on Facebook. However, my wife and one close friend are the only people that know that I am an atheist. My wife is not keen on my revealing that fact to my children just yet. So, I take every opportunity I can to give them the tools to figure it out for themselves without actually telling what I believe or not.

So, I asked her how we could know if Santa was real or not? I was impressed with her reasoning:
"If he was real we could see him. And, I have seen him before. Like at the mall. But, I am pretty sure that isn't really him. Except possibly the one at the big mall.... But, I have never actually seen a reindeer fly. WAIT! If Santa weren't real, how can the elves move every night?"

Me: "Have you seen them move?"

Her: "No. But they are in different places every morning."

Me: "Are there any other possible explanations for how they might be getting moved?"

Her: "Well, you and mommy could be moving them I guess. But, then that would mean... "

At this point, her precious little chin began to quiver and I felt really bad for her because she had just tugged on a little thread of santa's sweater and the whole damn thing unraveled. She was staring at santa's fat, hairy navel, figuratively speaking, and I am pretty sure it wasn't what she had expected.

Me: "Wait, wait, wait! Are you telling me you think it is possible that santa isn't real and I am moving the elves? If that is the case, then who is bringing the presents on Christmas night?"

Her: "You and mommy?"

Me: "Then who is eating the cookies that we leave out?"

Her: "You and mommy?"

Me: "Nope!"

Her: "Then who is eating them?"

Me: "Your sister."

Her: "WHAT? She knows too?!??!"

Me: "Yep, she caught me and your mommy wrapping easter baskets a couple of years ago."

Her: " .............. O.M.G. ........ then that means that .... and ... so you were putting money under my pillow when I lost teeth? That is pretty cool."

She paused thoughtfully.

Her: "So you brought yourself an XBox last Christmas!?!? How cool is that!"

Another pause.

Her: "Will santa still come this year even though I know he isn't real?"

Me: "Of course he is coming. He is bringing daddy a big new 55" ultra-HD curved TV for the living room."

She smiled and we sat in silence for a few minutes. Then she dropped the big bomb.

"Daddy? Do we have any evidence that Jesus was born on December 25th?"

Me: "What do you think?"

I just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now. Heart
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04-12-2015, 10:11 AM
RE: Scientific Evidence for Santa Claus
First thought: Awesome!

Second thought: Your daughter is 9 and figuring out Santa?

Third thought: Awesome!

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
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04-12-2015, 10:12 AM
RE: Scientific Evidence for Santa Claus
(04-12-2015 10:07 AM)TurkeyBurner Wrote:  My youngest daughter, aged 9, asked me last night if there was any scientific evidence for Santa. I asked her what she thought. She said she was pretty sure that there wasn't any.

[snip]

"Daddy? Do we have any evidence that Jesus was born on December 25th?"

Me: "What do you think?"

Great stuff! My kudos to your daughter for her well-developed logic at age nine. Must be a chip off the old block? Thumbsup

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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04-12-2015, 10:28 AM
RE: Scientific Evidence for Santa Claus
Pff I realized Santa wasn't real when I was 8...not that I walked in on my parents setting up the presents or anything.

Good on your daughter for being such a critical thinker.

Ignorance is not to be ignored.

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04-12-2015, 10:38 AM
RE: Scientific Evidence for Santa Claus
I noticed that Santa signed the xmas presents with the same handwriting as my mom when I was 7. I didn't say shit! I wanted more presents!
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04-12-2015, 10:42 AM
RE: Scientific Evidence for Santa Claus
My very Christian family told me around age 5 or 6. Santa was a make-believe game. Funny now as an adult, I remember them being cautious in their minds that I not confuse Santa with God.

Too bad they didn't let me believe in Santa so that when I found out he wasn't real, I would've assumed God wasn't real too! Weeping

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
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04-12-2015, 10:45 AM
RE: Scientific Evidence for Santa Claus
Awesome read TB.

My kids just didn't want to ask -- they knew but didn't want to ask about it.

My older son said that I was too damn smart. One year when he was 8 and doubting if Santa was real, I had zeroed in on the one thing he really wanted and made sure Santa brought it.

He hadn't told anyone about it, he felt it would prove to him one way or another if Santa was real or not.

I got another three years of Santa belief out of him. One year, I nearly had him convinced we should sausage and beer for Santa, but he eventually said no.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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04-12-2015, 10:55 AM
RE: Scientific Evidence for Santa Claus
Yea there is far too much sugar coating of reality, I don't mind imagination, kids are going to to that, but you cant coddle them from reality forever and it is not good to leave out reasoning skills and teach them script thinking, then when they become adults they lack good social skills with others.

Great job, now she has a chance at being a great skeptic too, and at a minimum it looks like she wont become a ridged religious fundy.

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04-12-2015, 12:15 PM
RE: Scientific Evidence for Santa Claus
(04-12-2015 10:12 AM)SYZ Wrote:  
(04-12-2015 10:07 AM)TurkeyBurner Wrote:  My youngest daughter, aged 9, asked me last night if there was any scientific evidence for Santa. I asked her what she thought. She said she was pretty sure that there wasn't any.

[snip]

"Daddy? Do we have any evidence that Jesus was born on December 25th?"

Me: "What do you think?"

Great stuff! My kudos to your daughter for her well-developed logic at age nine. Must be a chip off the old block? Thumbsup

I am not sure how well-developed the logic is, but I have always tried to make them think. I've tried to train them to challenge ideas and concepts before accepting them. I have journaled a bunch of the funnier stories to give to them when they are older. Here is an example of a conversation from a few years ago...

Putting in a spoiler because it is so long...
We were heading home from having just finished a sit-down supper of chicken fingers and fries. Conversation between mouthfuls of the greasy, breaded goodness had been focused on the movie The Lorax, which we had just watched at the local theater. The discussion started out with Ashley filling Brooke and me in on exactly what happened during the most important, most climactic scene of the movie. We had missed this part because Brooke had to potty – right then. This was no childhood melodrama. She had, in fact, been holding it for nearly an hour. But, Brooke was captivated by Dr. Seuss and as the intensity of the story built so did the intensity of her urge. When the movie was about to reach its decisive moment, she was as well. We were back just in time to catch the end of the “Let It Grow” song. Nevertheless, there was plenty for a 5 and 8 year old to discuss and debate over our supper.

It was in this mood that, as we climbed into the Jeep to go home, Brooke posed a somewhat philosophical question: “What’s that behind your ear, daddy?”

“I don’t know. What?”

“Yourself!” She motioned as if pulling something from behind my ear.

“How can I be behind my own ear?” I asked. “I would have to be in two places at once. And, seeing as how there is only one of me, I am pretty sure I am right here and not behind my ear.”

Brooke laughed. Ashley considered it thoughtfully before agreeing with my initial assessment.

“But, wait.” I paused here for dramatic effect then added, in a cartoon voice that sounded vaguely like a british Roger Rabbit, “What if I could be in two places at once? After all, I do have two feet. If one foot is here and the other one is there, aren’t they in two different places? Therefore, I can be in two places at once. So, I can be both here and behind myself at the same time.”

Almost in unison they shouted, “That doesn’t count!”

“My foot does not count as me? Why not? My foot is connected to my body. As long as my feet are connected to my body, wherever they are, I am also. Therefore, all that is needed is to have two feet, one in each spot. Then, if I am standing still, I am probably a little beside myself. But if I am running, then I am usually a little behind and sometimes a little ahead, and most of the time both simultaneously. Wait, wouldn’t that put me in three places at once?”

They were both a little confused. Honestly, I was even beginning to confuse myself. I was babbling like a cartoon-voiced idiot while having a pseudo-philosophical discussion with a five and eight year old. The absurdity of the discussion aside, I was starting to see some Seussian wisdom bubbling out of this soda can I had shaken up.

“Well, I don’t care if you have four feet. You are still in the same place.” Ashley said rather matter-of-factly.

“Sounds to me,” I replied, “like the discussion is not about the feet. Instead, it is about what defines a place. So what would it take for my feet to be in two different places?”

“They couldn’t be in two different places. They would have to be in two different cities,” Ashley answered.

“That’s all? Well, that’s not impossible,” I said. I wasn’t sure how successful I’d be at explaining how property lines worked. I hesitated. Then it all fell apart.

Ashley said, “Or, one foot on the Earth and one on the moon.”
To which Brooke added, “Or, one foot on the moon and one on the Sun.”
“You can’t put your foot on the sun, stupid! You would burn up,” said Ashley.

Brooke cried.

“Don’t call your sister stupid!” I yelled, forgetting to switch out of my cartoon voice.

Brooke stuck out her tongue at her sister. Ashley rolled her eyes. Then she turned to me with a thoughtful expression and said, “Daddy, some people say that a meteorite killed the dinosaurs and other people say a volcano did it. What do you think happened to them?”

I just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now. Heart
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04-12-2015, 01:43 PM
Scientific Evidence for Santa Claus
Your daughter is going to be a genius! That story is such a cute story.
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