Self-Harm
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18-02-2013, 02:29 PM
RE: Self-Harm
I was thinking that it’d be more soothing and healthy to go to sleep thinking more about something with appeal instead of allowing focus on something she doesn’t actually want to have happen. The dreams usually turn into nightmares about a certain thing when there’s a lot of stress over it, I heard.

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18-02-2013, 04:07 PM (This post was last modified: 18-02-2013 04:36 PM by Luminon.)
RE: Self-Harm
(03-01-2013 12:21 PM)legendoflink Wrote:  I'm not sure if there is already a thread for this and if there is I apologize.
So in the past I have had mild self-harm problems (mainly just cutting). Due to current events, it has come back.. but worse this time, way worse. It takes a lot of courage for me to post this, courage that I didn't think that I had. Lately I've felt worthless, helpless, and somewhat alone. I feel as if nothing could help me get better. I've been cutting worse than last time, drinking, smoking, starving myself, and yesterday I caught myself actually writing a suicide note.. I'm terrified.

I guess what I'm posting this for is, I need help you guys. If you can give me any advice, it would be greatly appreciated. Please don't say "well just stop doing it" because honestly, it isn't that easy. By god I wish it was. Please help me. Please.

-Sarah.
Contact a therapist. A good, secular scientific one. Make sure (s)he checks your brain chemistry. (all right if you already did, libation to Chas performed)

That being said, there is also the practice of meditation. If you do it right, in meditation thoughts slow down and emotion vanishes, (even boredom) which is important. I used to meditate a lot when my individual curriculum requirements were not yet laid down yet the education started and I had no idea if they will be any good or not. It was like being scared and confused all the time. And the meditation helped me. Of course, it's a discipline, it's like starting to exercise, it takes a while until you get the results.

But it might be the only actual permanent solution not dependent on pills, counseling and so on. If you learn to focus your attention, be mindful to your thoughts, observe them without reacting to them, learn to let them go. Interrupt it if you get obsessive about any idea or emotion. Interrupt, if you get involved in a feeling. This isn't about you, there are a plenty worthless, helpless and alone people. Many of them don't give a shit about it and so they manage to live a decent life. Learn not to give a shit, give up that particular reaction. There is no medical law saying that you should react in a certain way when somebody does something or just because you get a certain thought. Not all thoughts we have are really "ours", I'd say the brain generates them or something. I don't say it will be easy, you've got yourself one hell of a habit. Doesn't matter it's an unpleasant habit, it's still a habit. Maybe the cutting yourself is a way to interrupt the thoughts - it needs a strong stimulus to work. But you get de-sensitized and you need to cut more and again to acheve the effect... That's not the way to do it. The feelings need to be toned down, not up.

During the day, when you're not meditating, let's say you shake your head to clear it, every time you get caught in a thought that isn't helpful in your situation. But when you are meditating and your attention slips (it will, at least hundred times a hour) don't beat yourself over it, (that's what your ego would want!) simply refocus yourself again. Focus on... I don't know, a point between your eyebrows? It works for me.
Just get careful with the dissociation. Better meditate and focus, but don't dissociate yourself over the day consciously from your ability to feel or react entirely. That would get you through the bad times, but that in itself would need a therapy to fix. You need the ability to interrupt your feelings, not to suppress them entirely. In my experience listening to certain kinds of music has this effect on young people. But if it gets really, really bad, send me a message, I can upload you my stash. It's a music done by a friend, he wouldn't mind. It's crazy enough to lighten you up.

If you get any calm moments, use them to set a plan for yourself to get into a better situation. If you can, google for some advice. I see you're with some crazy parents. I guess it won't help to say it's most likely their problems burdening you. It would be classy of them to compensate their lack of self-worth by keeping you down. How close are you to college, in terms of time, money and parental permission?

If you claim there are nuances to principles, there are no nuances to getting arrested or shot for disobeying the power.
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19-02-2013, 12:34 AM
RE: Self-Harm
I graduate 2014 and I'm absolutely 100% broke.

"You don't disappoint me.... I think your much braver than you may believe."
bemore

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19-02-2013, 03:06 AM (This post was last modified: 19-02-2013 03:10 AM by Luminon.)
RE: Self-Harm
I have to repeat what you already know, there's no magic advice here from your fellow young broke people.
I told you how to get a calm moment. Once you get a calm moment, write a SWOT analysis of yourself, your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats. Something like a CV with your skills, but also with the weak spots. You seem to be an awesome person - you didn't get these 16 positive reps for nothing! Find out what did you get them for, write that down. Find out if there's a job in existence that makes use of these. Even if it was babysitting, even if it was in a church, whatever. At worst, try to find out if that office work from home through the net is some kind of scam or not. If that requires a dedicated software, do what a proper European would do.

If you claim there are nuances to principles, there are no nuances to getting arrested or shot for disobeying the power.
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19-02-2013, 08:39 AM
RE: Self-Harm
Last night, I officially tried to take my life for the first time. Tons of sleeping pills and then did whatever it took to go to sleep. My boyfriend's phone call is what woke me up and thank god. I'm so afraid.

"You don't disappoint me.... I think your much braver than you may believe."
bemore

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19-02-2013, 08:40 AM
RE: Self-Harm
(19-02-2013 08:39 AM)legendoflink Wrote:  Last night, I officially tried to take my life for the first time. Tons of sleeping pills and then did whatever it took to go to sleep. My boyfriend's phone call is what woke me up and thank god. I'm so afraid.


You need to be in hospital. Go.

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Science is not a subject, but a method.
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19-02-2013, 09:51 AM
RE: Self-Harm
(19-02-2013 08:39 AM)legendoflink Wrote:  Last night, I officially tried to take my life for the first time. Tons of sleeping pills and then did whatever it took to go to sleep. My boyfriend's phone call is what woke me up and thank god. I'm so afraid.
Most of the time it isnt the actual overdose that kills people, its the organ failure afterwards. So Chas is of course correct... you need to go to the hospital ASAP even if you are feeling ok.

For no matter how much I use these symbols, to describe symptoms of my existence.
You are your own emphasis.
So I say nothing.

-Bemore.
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19-02-2013, 01:01 PM
RE: Self-Harm
(19-02-2013 08:39 AM)legendoflink Wrote:  Last night, I officially tried to take my life for the first time. Tons of sleeping pills and then did whatever it took to go to sleep. My boyfriend's phone call is what woke me up and thank god. I'm so afraid.
Go to hospital! Tell them everything and don't resist if they put you on antidepressives.
If you need Zoloft just to make it through the day alive, go for it! If you don't know why should you, that's exactly why.

If you claim there are nuances to principles, there are no nuances to getting arrested or shot for disobeying the power.
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19-02-2013, 05:30 PM
RE: Self-Harm
Sad Sorry to read that the thug in your head attacked you again. This reminds me of my Mom's second cousin, so I do hope that you get help.

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19-02-2013, 11:12 PM
RE: Self-Harm
Legend - to hospital please.

... Somehow... you have to pull through this...
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