Self-Harm
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14-01-2013, 02:54 PM
RE: Self-Harm
Hug
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17-01-2013, 12:36 PM
RE: Self-Harm
So yeah. A lot of you are going to be disappointed in me.
I'm skipping my appointment today and may not even go back at all.
Ever since Monday everything has just gotten worse.
Things with my dad are at its worst and it's really scaring me.
My cutting is severely back.
I just don't think that the counseling can even help me. Undecided

"You don't disappoint me.... I think your much braver than you may believe."
bemore

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17-01-2013, 01:03 PM
RE: Self-Harm
Well then the counseling won't help and you should skip it.

In fact, you should just give up.

Oh, wait, you're coming here to talk to us because you want support, want help, and haven't given up yet? Excellent! I'm glad to hear it. But if that's true, then don't give up on the stuff that really matters, and going to your appointment today really matters.

Look, you seem like a nice person and I really feel bad for all you've been through and I hope your life gets much better really fast, but it's time to get real here. Do you want a better life or don't you? You're here, I'm pretty sure you want a better life. So, really, I'm just going to say it, and I mean it with love and kindness, but pull your head out. Enough of this self-pity and wallowing around here feeling sorry for yourself and dragging us all into your mood swings.

You make a post about how you need help and a bunch of people offer some very solid, caring advice. You say you'll do it and everyone feels better. Then you come right back and post more self pity, telling us you are going to ignore everything we said and crying out for us to help you again, so we do, and everyone feels better until you come back and post again that you're ignoring everything we said and crying out for help yet again.

Trust me, we want to help you. We want you to be happy. But you can't keep ignoring what we say and making the same/similar posts over and over crying out for help that will be ignored.

So again, it's time to pull your head out. You've been told what to do. You've said it yourself that you appreciate what we told you and you think it could work. So do it. Go to your therapist, work with him to resolve your issues, and share your successes with us because we all care about you.

And for Pete's sake, but even more for YOUR sake, stop ignoring our advice and take some responsibility on yourself to actually do the right things to make your life a brighter, happier life.

You deserve it.

"Whores perform the same function as priests, but far more thoroughly." - Robert A. Heinlein
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17-01-2013, 01:38 PM
RE: Self-Harm
(17-01-2013 12:36 PM)legendoflink Wrote:  So yeah. A lot of you are going to be disappointed in me.
I'm skipping my appointment today and may not even go back at all.
Ever since Monday everything has just gotten worse.
Things with my dad are at its worst and it's really scaring me.
My cutting is severely back.
I just don't think that the counseling can even help me. Undecided
WRONG CHOICE!

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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17-01-2013, 02:12 PM
RE: Self-Harm
Um... yeah. I'm sad you're not going for your appointment, but I'm not *disappointed* in you. You probably feel like this is another failure... and then you think stuff like 'jeez, I even fail at trying not to fail'... I wanna tell you, *don't* feel this way. It's normal to feel scared and go back to what you know, even if what you know is so hard and unfair. As long as you learn that failing once doesn't matter, that's still positive, OK? *Giving up* is when things go pear shaped, so please I urge you not to give up. Take a time out, regroup, maybe you were chicken 'cos it was a guy you were gonna see Wink So maybe ease into it a bit more, maybe try see a lady next time (not that idiot woman who palmed you off on someone else).

Look, I'll be honest, we keep saying therapist, therapist like it's gonna magically solve your problems. I guess maybe you feel like... this advice isn't really helping ? And then we say stuff like 'persevere, find the right one'... I dunno Sad It's just the best advice we can give. That and still consider telling someone about the abuse (told ya I was gonna nag ya Wink ) because the biggest thing to remember is that this is NOT your fault.
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18-01-2013, 04:26 AM (This post was last modified: 18-01-2013 04:53 AM by yumeji.)
RE: Self-Harm
(17-01-2013 12:36 PM)legendoflink Wrote:  So yeah. A lot of you are going to be disappointed in me.
I'm skipping my appointment today and may not even go back at all.
Ever since Monday everything has just gotten worse.
Things with my dad are at its worst and it's really scaring me.
My cutting is severely back.
I just don't think that the counseling can even help me. Undecided
I would say stick with the counseling. But I'm not just going to say that and run away... here is why I say that, and I think you will be able to relate to me.

About 16 years ago, due to a series of unfortunate events that happened to me in my very young years, I would bend over backwards to help others.

Time kept pushing forward and when I was 22, I was working in Seattle, WA. I lived in a small run down shack, and I do mean a shack. I was pouring every cent I had into this fund to get a friend of mines love of his life to Washington in order to surprise him and make both of them happy. So I lived on a old moldy bag of bread for each week among other gross and unpleasant things. During this time I was also helping out another friend with his failed relationship, spending what little change I may have had left on gas to make sure he was ok everyday. This is what I mean by bending over backwards to help anyone, I would do anything to help anyone no matter the cost to me. I did this all my conscious life. All under the hope that I could make everyone happy, and many other reasons.

At this time, I had thought something good was finally happening to me. I had met a girl who I was infatuated with, was in a relationship with her, or so I thought. Little did I know I was only a push away from going off the deep end.

My grandma (the only person in my family I really liked) and my dog died on the same day about 9 months into this situation. I was obviously distraught, so I went to this girl's apartment where I told her, while in a fair amount of tears, what had happened (we had only been together, maybe 4 weeks at this point). However her friends came over and she went out with them to play some games or something.

So I left the apartment, extremely upset at this point. I went home to my little shack, called up the aforementioned friends to see if anyone would want to hang out or do something to help me feel better. During this time I had managed to get that girl to Washington for my friend, she also happened to be a long time friend of mine.Yet, None of them wanted to come around or do anything even after hearing the events, so at that point I fell off that deep end. My mind reeling over all the things I had done for people, never consciously thinking of myself. And now, no one seemed to care.

I went and took some, I honestly don't remember what it was, 36 strong sleeping pills of some type. My landlord happened to come early the next morning, finding me in a bad unconscious state, took me to the hospital. There, after a stomach pump and other not fun things, I was kept for a couple of days for recovery, as the situation was technically fatal. I had died in the ambulance apparently. While in my hospital room, I called those three people and that girl I loved, asking them to come see me. "I need someone to talk to."

Well, wouldn't you know it? None of them came. "I'm too tired" "I'm in the middle of this game" "My friends want to do something later." This fueled the fire started with the pills, resulting in me getting out of the hospital, going back to my shack and in a deep depression, resulted to the one thing I never previously understood. Cutting. [I should mention that those three friends I had known for some 8 years, as "best friends"]

Or, at first it was more stabbing myself. I had never understood it in my studies, I understood the metal state behind it but it was still a foreign idea to me. But at this time, putting the feelings I couldn't deal with out in the physical world and treating myself as others had treated me for the last 17 years. At one point, the depression and cutting got so bad that I had written out a suicide note and stabbed myself in my arm (completely through). This led to another hospital visit, and no one came of course.

Now I know this is probably not the most entertaining story. Or a happy one at that. But my point in bringing this all up, is that while I may not know exactly what your going through, I've been in a similar state. And that is why, you saying you don't want to go to your appointment, concerns me. I had gotten a counselor some 3 years after these events (there's more to it but I think that's enough Smile), because I just couldn't stop and was always distraught and unhappy. I wish so badly that I would have gotten one sooner. There were times where I didn't want to go (and did skip a couple of appointments), didn't want to talk about these things, didn't want to even address the problems.

Today, I'm mostly okay. I say 'mostly' as I lost valuable time in those 3 years on my own trying to deal with it myself. Personally I wish everyone had a counselor, but that's another topic all together.

But it's important that you keep going. Please don't make the same mistake that I did in waiting and skipping appointments. If your current counselor/psychiatrist/whatever doesn't click with you, get another one. I mean that quite seriously. It took some looking around for me to find a counselor that fit me; an atheist, with a heavy reliance on free thought, a compatible personality, and had to be female.

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18-01-2013, 12:54 PM
RE: Self-Harm
Okay here.
I'll go to my appointment next Thursday, ok?
It's already schedule.

THANK YOU ALL.

"You don't disappoint me.... I think your much braver than you may believe."
bemore

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18-01-2013, 01:00 PM
RE: Self-Harm
(18-01-2013 12:54 PM)legendoflink Wrote:  Okay here.
I'll go to my appointment next Thursday, ok?
It's already schedule.

THANK YOU ALL.


Good girl. It's work, it's not all fun. But you know that already.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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18-01-2013, 01:25 PM
RE: Self-Harm
(18-01-2013 12:54 PM)legendoflink Wrote:  Okay here.
I'll go to my appointment next Thursday, ok?
It's already schedule.

THANK YOU ALL.
YAY Yes

Don't forget though, if your current counselor is not working for you or 'clicking' with you, seek out another until you find the right fit.

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20-01-2013, 02:57 AM
RE: Self-Harm
Sarah,

I went through my fair share of depression and self-harm/suicidal ideations when I was your age as well. I can't speak as to the cause of it all, but to some extent I can relate. Eventually my parents forced me into seeing a psychologist which I didn't like either. I really to this day feel as if she never helped me and it was a big waste of time, but I hope you will find a better one than I had. What eventually pulled me out of the depths of despair and hopelessness was making a connection. I found someone who loved me, and someone who I loved, but more importantly than that even was I found someone to share my thoughts with who I felt did not judge me. I never fully felt like she understood me per se, but that was fine, she didn't judge me and it was someone I could let my guard down around. Finding someone like that may not be your solution, maybe it is, either way hang in there. The trials and tribulations you are facing are temporary, I promise. Even if there is no end in sight, I promise that there is one, and you do not want to miss out on it. Life can sometimes just suck, but the good in life makes the suffering all worth it. I found that immersing myself in distractions that I enjoyed helped a lot....art, music, poetry, prose, books anything to help cope, just knowing that there were others that felt some of the things I did. Please keep us all updated, and don't be to hard on yourself, just do the best you can given your circumstances until you are able to change the circumstances you're in.

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