Self-Harm

[Aseptic Skeptic]

(03-01-2013 12:37 PM)legendoflink Wrote:  See the thing is:
Something inside of me feels the need to push away those who try and help me. So what I think is going to have to happen is I'm going to have to find something to do to help myself.

Like one of my friends used to cut and it got so bad that she began to pour lemon juice on fresh cuts, just so that the pain from the sting would deter her from cutting. I don't know what to do, but yeah I'm going to also try a doctor.

This just means you have two things to discuss with your therapist, the self-harm and the pushing away. Your therapist can help you work through both things if you work with the them, too.

[legendoflink]

(03-01-2013 12:43 PM)Aseptic Skeptic Wrote:  This just means you have two things to discuss with your therapist, the self-harm and the pushing away. Your therapist can help you work through both things if you work with the them, too.

I mean, I honestly don't know what to tell them. I'm afraid to tell them some of the things I'm depressed about due to the consequences.

[Chas]

(03-01-2013 12:44 PM)legendoflink Wrote:  

(03-01-2013 12:43 PM)Aseptic Skeptic Wrote:  This just means you have two things to discuss with your therapist, the self-harm and the pushing away. Your therapist can help you work through both things if you work with the them, too.

I mean, I honestly don't know what to tell them. I'm afraid to tell them some of the things I'm depressed about due to the consequences.

Therapy is private. What you talk about with a therapist is private. Legally private.

But therapy is more than a therapist or you talking. You both have to listen. And feel.

[legendoflink]

(03-01-2013 12:47 PM)Chas Wrote:  Therapy is private. What you talk about with a therapist is private.
But therapy is more than a therapist or you talking. You both have to listen. And feel.

The thing is though, some of the things I'm depressed about must be reported..

[Chas]

(03-01-2013 12:49 PM)legendoflink Wrote:  

(03-01-2013 12:47 PM)Chas Wrote:  Therapy is private. What you talk about with a therapist is private.
But therapy is more than a therapist or you talking. You both have to listen. And feel.

The thing is though, some of the things I'm depressed about must be reported..

There are very few things that must be reported. If any of those are occurring, you need help. Now.

Those are exactly the things you must not be silent about.

[Aseptic Skeptic]

Sure, but you might not like the answer. I'm sure it's different for everyone.

For her, she was trying to "fix" everyone's problems. Her parents (my wife and I) were going through a divorce. A bunch of her Jr. High friends were having personal problems (romance, home life, depression, whatever). My daughter took on everybody's problems and made them her own and then tried to fix them. At 13 years old, she wasn't very effective at fixing anyone's personal problems, so she felt helpless and guilty for failing to "save" all her friends and family.

Cutting was her expression of that.

Her therapist's advice was to back off from taking on everyone else's issues. Offer advice, sure, but don't carry everyone's burdens. Be a friend without trying to be their parents, doctors, therapists, and priests. The therapist also worked with me and her mother to offer our daughter more validation at home so she would feel less useless.

It seemed to work fairly well.

That was 3 years ago. I don't have to keep sharp knives away from her anymore. Occasionally she talks to me about how some friend is having some problem and she really wants to fix it, so she and I have a talk about appropriate levels of her involvement. Occasionally I help dial her back a bit but she's usually pretty good at it on her own now.

[legendoflink]

Can you guys think of anything that I could do to help myself?

[Chas]

(03-01-2013 01:00 PM)legendoflink Wrote:  Can you guys think of anything that I could do to help myself?

I cannot. I have faced the problem of addiction and I needed help. I'm alive because I got help.

[cheapthrillseaker]

Hey there Legend. You're doing the right thing by reaching out. Though your previous experience with a therapist didn't have much influence, don't let that dampen your view for this try. Take it like a new day, and with an open mind that you're facing the issue, but without the previous sessions influences upon it. Building a strong foundation over again can be mentally tiring, but the tools gathered in therapy can help. These will be your own tools, found from within, and can be applied to many more obstacles, and not just the ones you're facing currently. You are strong! So much stronger than what you're going through. You're highly intelligent, and worth it. Be brave! Be easy on yourself, too. *virtual hug*

[bemore]

(03-01-2013 01:00 PM)legendoflink Wrote:  Can you guys think of anything that I could do to help myself?

Just keep going, dont give up till you have tried everything.... and then retry everything again.
You werent born feeling this way and its something that can be changed.