Self-Harm
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03-01-2013, 01:22 PM
RE: Self-Harm
(03-01-2013 01:00 PM)legendoflink Wrote:  Can you guys think of anything that I could do to help myself?
No.

Because each person is different.

Sure, if you and I sat down for a very long, very personal conversation in which you revealed your innermost personal thoughts, fears, and deep issues, maybe I could come up with something. But I'm not a professional therapist - if you have that same conversation with a professional therapist, they are far more likely to come up with something that is actually going to help.

So the only thing I can think of to help you is to say what's already been said - get professional help.

You know you need to. You tried before. The help is out there, you just have to go get it and work with it and be part of the solution. Nobody can help you. But the right people can work with you so that, together as a team effort (which includes you), you all can help you.

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03-01-2013, 01:23 PM
RE: Self-Harm
(03-01-2013 01:00 PM)legendoflink Wrote:  Can you guys think of anything that I could do to help myself?
Like Chas and others have said, first and foremost get therapeutic help. That said, I don't know your exact circumstances but for many problems writing about them in a journal is often very helpful. Write down what is bugging you, what is making you angry, what you are hating at that moment on that day. Pouring your thoughts, concerns, emotions and rage onto paper has benefits for lots of troubles. If you are concerned about privacy or that your writings will be found, then destroy them after you write about it. The important part is the expression and more importantly, you are not cutting while you are writing. Just a thought.
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03-01-2013, 01:31 PM (This post was last modified: 04-01-2013 01:03 PM by morondog.)
RE: Self-Harm
Legend, it's not *you* that's the problem. You're one of the sweetest people I've ever come across. So don't feel worthless please. If someone puts you down, it's not that *you're* worthless or bad, it's that *they* are nasty. It took me a long time to understand this. And even after understanding it, the gut feeling frequently beats out the mental knowledge, so I have to keep reminding myself...

The thing is we can sympathize and empathize, but really nothing beats a professionally trained person, who is legally bound to keep whatever you say to them in confidence, and who's *there*. We're just voices on the net. Our ability to help is limited. That's why we keep urging you not to give up on a therapist, because we *know* that we are far away - we want to know that you're getting the best possible help.
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03-01-2013, 01:51 PM
RE: Self-Harm
I really don't have much to add (people are right - you can't do it on your own, if you try, you are just prolonging your suffering and making everything worse).

But you said you were worried that the therapist may have to report the things you say to them. From what I know about how it works over there, very few things must be reported, and the ones I can think of, are ones that may be harming you. If this is the case, you should definitely talk to a specialist.

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03-01-2013, 03:25 PM
RE: Self-Harm
There isn't much I could add that others have not said, but if it means anything, there are plenty people who do not wish for you to go through this. I, and I'm sure many others here, want you to get through this and come out okay.

I wish I had been online more recently when you were, so I could chat to you. It has been awhile and saddens me greatly to hear about this now having not spoken to you in ages.

Geez, you can really tell I have been drinking. Tongue

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03-01-2013, 04:49 PM
RE: Self-Harm
Before you tell a therapist that you're suicidal (a bad idea, in my opinion), first know this:

You have the option to harm yourself. You even have the option to kill yourself. These options are always on the table, and they're always viable. But that's ok, because while it may not be easy to avoid them, just know that you also have the option to keep going.

When I was sitting on the cold floor of my dimly-lit bathroom with a loaded Glock 21 in my mouth and a .45 hollow-point aimed directly at my brain stem, it suddenly dawned on me that if I so chose, I could put the gun down if I wanted to. I could put it down and go see a movie, or see what was playing on TV. Such a violent and premature climax had always seemed imminent and inescapable, but somehow I hadn't considered the fact that I could keep going if I wanted to.

I found that very empowering. And in a situation such as that, power is precisely what I was craving. Endowed with that sudden realization of power, I decided to just go for a drive. I looked at the sunset that would have occured anyway, but would have occured after I was already dead. I looked at the world around me playing out as it usually does, but I was watching it as though from beyond the grave. Living life when I might have otherwise been dead and gone. I continue to this day, and with the ever-present knowledge that if I so choose, I could end it all. But I don't, simply because I choose not to.

And that, my friend, is power.

Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
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03-01-2013, 04:57 PM
RE: Self-Harm
(03-01-2013 12:47 PM)Chas Wrote:  
(03-01-2013 12:44 PM)legendoflink Wrote:  I mean, I honestly don't know what to tell them. I'm afraid to tell them some of the things I'm depressed about due to the consequences.

Therapy is private. What you talk about with a therapist is private. Legally private.

But therapy is more than a therapist or you talking. You both have to listen. And feel.
Unfortunately, while much of therapy is "legally private", issues of self-harm are "legally" required to be reported. So, suicidal thoughts are red flags for a therapist, and are not required to be kept private. Quite the opposite.

Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
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03-01-2013, 05:25 PM
RE: Self-Harm
(03-01-2013 04:57 PM)Misanthropik Wrote:  Unfortunately, while much of therapy is "legally private", issues of self-harm are "legally" required to be reported. So, suicidal thoughts are red flags for a therapist, and are not required to be kept private. Quite the opposite.

Though not certain, I think Legend is not having suicidal thoughts, I think she stated she's a cutter - there is a difference. Cutters cut for many reasons that have little or nothing to do with suicidal issues.

Legend, get in touch with a doctor and explain that you have many things to discuss. Then if you don't feel comfortable with this doctor, find another one. The first step is tough, but I wouldn't worry about "reporting" anything - everything is confidential between you and the therapist. Usually, if there is anything to be "reported" they discuss it with you - if it's even necessary.

Just get help from a local therapist. Like I said, the first step is tough - but you can do it. Heart

I think in the end, I just feel like I'm a secular person who has a skeptical eye toward any extraordinary claim, carefully examining any extraordinary evidence before jumping to conclusions. ~ Eric ~ My friend ... who figured it out.
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04-01-2013, 06:03 AM
RE: Self-Harm
(03-01-2013 05:25 PM)kim Wrote:  
(03-01-2013 04:57 PM)Misanthropik Wrote:  Unfortunately, while much of therapy is "legally private", issues of self-harm are "legally" required to be reported. So, suicidal thoughts are red flags for a therapist, and are not required to be kept private. Quite the opposite.

Though not certain, I think Legend is not having suicidal thoughts, I think she stated she's a cutter - there is a difference. Cutters cut for many reasons that have little or nothing to do with suicidal issues.
True, but she mentioned having written a suicide note, so I just kind of went with that. Plus, self-harm is always a concern for doctors. It shows that one is willing to inflict harm upon themselves, and that makes people wonder how far they may be willing to go. While not certain, it's always possible that one's issues may escalate. Figured I'd just give her some food for thought. Smile

Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
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04-01-2013, 12:40 PM
RE: Self-Harm
Suicide is sometimes something that I think about, but honestly the thing keeping me from ever doing it is the thought of the person finding me.

What they would have to go through would be terrible. Who would find me? How would they react?
The thought of also maybe pushing them to how I am because of my actions, scares me.
I love people and I don't want them to be in my shoes. But I just wish people would understand and realize that "Hey! Sarah isn't happy."

My mom went through counseling classes in college and she's mentioned before that both suicidal thoughts and abuse must be reported or you could lose your job.

"You don't disappoint me.... I think your much braver than you may believe."
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