Selfish, maybe
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14-02-2013, 12:06 PM
RE: Selfish, maybe
I feel like people shouldn't focus on the death part so much, but the life that the person had. I know I will cry when someone very close to me does actually die, but I'd like to think I can move on by remembering how great a relationship I had with them and what I can bring to my current, living relationships with people. Then again, I really can't say how I would feel, since it hasn't happened yet.
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14-02-2013, 12:31 PM
RE: Selfish, maybe
(14-02-2013 01:15 AM)Aspchizo Wrote:  
(13-02-2013 11:00 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  I got 3 more sisters and another brother from another mother. Seems clear to me.

Okay, from your sample set of people you determined that they cry. This doesn't tell me much about the intensity of the emotions felt.

Empathize; how would you feel if your Dad died? How would your siblings feel? Cry? I'm thinking a shit load of crying is gonna take place. Even if one feels prepared for death such as after a long term illness; one is never prepared. It is still very much a shock to the mental faculties. The person you love is just gone. The end.

It is a big responsibility and often a burden to deal with the understanding that all you have is just you.

This may be a reason theists cling to the death scenario of going to be with all the dead relatives in heaven. It's an avoidance mechanism which further feeds and keeps up the notion that the delusion they are living is reality... their reality, anyway.

Patience is really best when dealing with death - everyone grieves in their own way. Shy

I think in the end, I just feel like I'm a secular person who has a skeptical eye toward any extraordinary claim, carefully examining any extraordinary evidence before jumping to conclusions. ~ Eric ~ My friend ... who figured it out.
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14-02-2013, 03:24 PM
RE: Selfish, maybe
(14-02-2013 12:31 PM)kim Wrote:  1.Empathize; how would you feel if your Dad died? How would your siblings feel? Cry? I'm thinking a shit load of crying is gonna take place. Even if one feels prepared for death such as after a long term illness; one is never prepared. It is still very much a shock to the mental faculties. The person you love is just gone. The end.

2.It is a big responsibility and often a burden to deal with the understanding that all you have is just you.

3.This may be a reason theists cling to the death scenario of going to be with all the dead relatives in heaven. It's an avoidance mechanism which further feeds and keeps up the notion that the delusion they are living is reality... their reality, anyway.

Patience is really best when dealing with death - everyone grieves in their own way. Shy
1. I took a minute to think about how I would feel, and I've got nothing. I'm not sure how my siblings would feel either, I understand the general emotions involved, but that's about it.
2. I already only have myself. So this wouldn't be a new feeling to me.
3. I agree. The situations that they used their religion to ease grief probably comes to mind when questioning their religion.

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14-02-2013, 04:45 PM (This post was last modified: 14-02-2013 04:57 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Selfish, maybe
(14-02-2013 01:15 AM)Aspchizo Wrote:  
(13-02-2013 11:00 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  I got 3 more sisters and another brother from another mother. Seems clear to me.

Okay, from your sample set of people you determined that they cry. This doesn't tell me much about the intensity of the emotions felt.

Did I miss the memo about the invention of an Emotion Intensity Meter? ... Girly is extremely empathetic, bordering on sympathetic even. You apparently ain't. So fucking what? I'd still fucking sumo your ass out of the dohyƍ in less than a minute.

(14-02-2013 12:31 PM)kim Wrote:  It is a big responsibility and often a burden to deal with the understanding that all you have is just you.

Girly's burden is heavier from the fact that at Uni I wrote a thesis refuting Descartes' Cogito Ergo Sum. I ain't even sure I have me. Ain't clear at all. ... But I'm still here playing the game as if I do. That's something I guess.

Breathing - it's more art than science.
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14-02-2013, 04:52 PM
RE: Selfish, maybe
(14-02-2013 04:45 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(14-02-2013 01:15 AM)Aspchizo Wrote:  Okay, from your sample set of people you determined that they cry. This doesn't tell me much about the intensity of the emotions felt.

Did I miss the memo about the invention of an Emotion Intensity Meter? ... Girly is extremely empathetic, bordering on sympathetic even. You apparently ain't. So fucking what?

"So fucking what?" ? I don't know, you appear aggravated by something. Am I missing something?

There are different magnitudes in which emotions can be felt, at least it appears this way to me. Emotions are not just either on or off, all or nothing. I understand the emotions, but I don't understand someone elses experience of the emotions, the intensity they experience them, or how they deal with them.

I feel bad when other people feel bad, I just don't understand their experience.

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14-02-2013, 05:04 PM (This post was last modified: 14-02-2013 05:09 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Selfish, maybe
(14-02-2013 04:52 PM)Aspchizo Wrote:  "So fucking what?" ? I don't know, you appear aggravated by something. Am I missing something?

Yes, you very well might be missing something. Girly don't get aggravated. Think you might be missing the entire point of "So fucking what?"

(14-02-2013 04:52 PM)Aspchizo Wrote:  There are different magnitudes in which emotions can be felt, at least it appears this way to me. Emotions are not just either on or off, all or nothing.

For some of us they are all just on or off, all or nothing. Experience that shit fully. Milk that shit for all it's motherfucking worth while you have the chance. Be here motherfucking now. For others, not so much. No biggie either way. So fucking what?

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14-02-2013, 05:12 PM
RE: Selfish, maybe
(14-02-2013 05:04 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(14-02-2013 04:52 PM)Aspchizo Wrote:  There are different magnitudes in which emotions can be felt, at least it appears this way to me. Emotions are not just either on or off, all or nothing.

For some of us they are all just on or off, all or nothing. Experience that shit fully. Milk that shit for all it's motherfucking worth while you have the chance. Be here motherfucking now. For others, not so much. No biggie either way. So fucking what?

Seriously? just on and off? I find it hard to believe. How many people experience emotions as being either on or off?

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14-02-2013, 05:13 PM
RE: Selfish, maybe
(14-02-2013 05:12 PM)Aspchizo Wrote:  
(14-02-2013 05:04 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  For some of us they are all just on or off, all or nothing. Experience that shit fully. Milk that shit for all it's motherfucking worth while you have the chance. Be here motherfucking now. For others, not so much. No biggie either way. So fucking what?

Seriously? just on and off? I find it hard to believe. How many people experience emotions as being either on or off?

At least one. Drinking Beverage

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14-02-2013, 05:15 PM
RE: Selfish, maybe
Woops, wrong area. <- ignore this

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14-02-2013, 11:15 PM (This post was last modified: 14-02-2013 11:29 PM by DLJ.)
RE: Selfish, maybe
(14-02-2013 05:15 PM)Aspchizo Wrote:  Woops, wrong area. <- ignore this

Just as an aside, dude, I empathise (which is slightly ironic) with your incredulity.

Other people's emotions is one of the hardest things to comprehend when you're an Aspie. It takes much patience and observation.

I know (at least I'm fairly certain) that I am going to feel not much when my parents die and so, on occasions, I rehearse how I am going to deal with other people's dismay at my lack of emotion.

I don't think I can fake it (crying, I mean) but I will try to be less obviously dismissive and detached by deflecting i.e. focusing on supporting my siblings at their time of grief.

And just for the record, Girly's "So fucking what?" should not be read as "SO FUCKING WHAT?", it should be read as "meh" So what? *shrugs shoulders*".

Nuance.. it's a tricky one, isn't it?

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