Seriously, what good am I?
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01-05-2014, 06:47 AM
RE: Seriously, what good am I?
Sorry to hear you are going through that. Your mom is not helping. I think getting a job would help you in more ways than one. My wife got a huge esteem boost when she started working. In your case I think a job like my wife's would be perfect. She does morning stocking and display mantainance at our local JC Penny. The job is before the store opens, very task focused and not much interaction with the general public. JCP pays a bit more than min wage to start. If there is a store in your area you might want to check it out. I suspect other department stores have similar job.

In addition to the esteem boost working would give you some independace from your mom.

Best of luck
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01-05-2014, 07:34 AM
RE: Seriously, what good am I?
Needing to re-charge after social interactions - I need that too. I am very extrovert when with people, but then I need to be by myself to refuel. Always been that way, and I think it to be normal. I think people who need to be around other people non stop are abnormal. Tongue It's all in the eyes of the beholder. You are who you are and sticking labels on it comes with value judgements and who needs those? Not me.

I got into online work because I loved the freedom it allows. Work in your pyjamas, work whatever hours you like, no commute, no one looking over your shoulder etc.

Given your artistic talent, I really think you should build on that.

Yes, you will have creative blocks like you do right now. That is a given when one works creatively, sometimes it just doesn't flow. Don't let that discourage you.

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Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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01-05-2014, 07:47 AM
RE: Seriously, what good am I?
Pretty much everyone here is better at giving advice than me, so I'll just give you this.

Hug

and a quote from a very old and wise friend.

Quote:Hey, do you mind if I tell you a story? One you might not have heard. All the elements in your body were forged many, many millions of years ago in the heart of a far away star that exploded and died. That explosion scattered those elements across the desolations of deep space. After so, so many millions of years these elements came together to form new stars and new planets. And on and on it went. The elements came together and burst apart forming shoes and ships and sealing wax and cabbages and kings. Until, eventually, they came together to make you. You are unique in the universe. There is only one Charis and there will never be another.

I know how it feels to not be able to see your own worth. I know how hard it can be to acknowledge the positive influence your life has had and will have. But know this, MY life is better for having met you. The simple beauty of your smile, your art, and the person that you are has not gone unnoticed.

Hug

Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up.

"Let me give you some advice, bastard: never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister
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01-05-2014, 03:40 PM
RE: Seriously, what good am I?
(01-05-2014 12:12 AM)Charis Wrote:  Thank you everyone. Yes, this is a picture of me (gulegon can vouch for me there), thank you very much for the compliment.
I know my response at the moment is sounding a little hollow, and I apologize for that.
I can't seem to paint right now. I just... can't. I guess I'm sinking back into depression a bit.
I can't afford treatment for the PTSD right now, though the martial arts is helping a lot. Couldn't go today, because I pulled a muscle in my lower back early this afternoon.
I want to pursue the art. Somehow.

Indeed, I can Smile Yes. That is, in fact, an actual picture of Charis in her avatar!
She is of European Spanish descent Drooling and can can even speak a little of that language Shy
What you can't make out in that picture, however, is that she's got the prettiest, most hypnotic, green eyes you've ever seen,... and a great butt xD
Also, she is extremely intelligent, but not the kind that gets all disgusted (visibly so, anyway Tongue ) when she has to slow down to explain things, in layman's terms, to lesser intellectually endowed creatures such as myself! So much so, that after having met my younger brother, and his girlfriend, they both let me know, shortly after we parted, how cool it'd be if Charis & I were to trade families.... like permanently Dodgy yeah thanks assholes I love U 2 Laughat
Basically, she's a fountain of pure awesome sauce Big Grin

OH!!! She plays video games Gasp and knows Tae Kwan Do, peeps! Tae Kwon Do Shocking I was a lil intimidated Blush
I kid Tongue She is a knockout, though! Thumbsup

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01-05-2014, 03:54 PM (This post was last modified: 01-05-2014 04:00 PM by Smercury44.)
RE: Seriously, what good am I?
Charis, I don't have any advice to give, you've got tons of awesome stuff in here already, and I couldn't have said it any better. I just wanted you to know how amazing I think you are. I don't think I've ever seen a post from you that I didn't enjoy (other than my broken heart at your current situation).

I wanted to give you some love though Hug Heart one more Hug

Edit: wanted to add that I agree with Guley, even though I haven't had the personal experience of an intellectual conversation with you, you do seem very smart. I don't usually get into the heavy debate stuff around here, but I do browse it. I've always been impressed with what you have to say. Yes

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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01-05-2014, 04:33 PM
RE: Seriously, what good am I?
(01-05-2014 03:40 PM)TheGulegon Wrote:  
(01-05-2014 12:12 AM)Charis Wrote:  Thank you everyone. Yes, this is a picture of me (gulegon can vouch for me there), thank you very much for the compliment.
I know my response at the moment is sounding a little hollow, and I apologize for that.
I can't seem to paint right now. I just... can't. I guess I'm sinking back into depression a bit.
I can't afford treatment for the PTSD right now, though the martial arts is helping a lot. Couldn't go today, because I pulled a muscle in my lower back early this afternoon.
I want to pursue the art. Somehow.

Indeed, I can Smile Yes. That is, in fact, an actual picture of Charis in her avatar!
She is of European Spanish descent Drooling and can can even speak a little of that language Shy
What you can't make out in that picture, however, is that she's got the prettiest, most hypnotic, green eyes you've ever seen,... and a great butt xD
Also, she is extremely intelligent, but not the kind that gets all disgusted (visibly so, anyway Tongue ) when she has to slow down to explain things, in layman's terms, to lesser intellectually endowed creatures such as myself! So much so, that after having met my younger brother, and his girlfriend, they both let me know, shortly after we parted, how cool it'd be if Charis & I were to trade families.... like permanently Dodgy yeah thanks assholes I love U 2 Laughat
Basically, she's a fountain of pure awesome sauce Big Grin

OH!!! She plays video games Gasp and knows Tae Kwan Do, peeps! Tae Kwon Do Shocking I was a lil intimidated Blush
I kid Tongue She is a knockout, though! Thumbsup

Where do I sign up for this girl? I got movie tickets, concert tickets, amusement park tickets, and I know where to get other tickets for cheap.
You could say my dates are always entertained Cool

Atir aissom atir imon
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01-05-2014, 04:52 PM (This post was last modified: 01-05-2014 09:34 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Seriously, what good am I?
(01-05-2014 12:12 AM)Charis Wrote:  I guess I'm sinking back into depression a bit.
I can't afford treatment for the PTSD right now, ...

What can't you afford about it? The first-line treatment meds themselves tend to be cheap as shit. Less than $10/month for both my Lexapro and Seroquel generic versions. Or is it paying for the Doc to write the scripts? You don't have health insurance? In your situation you probably qualify for Medicaid. Take care of yourself Charis, you are too important not to.

(30-04-2014 06:43 PM)Charis Wrote:  My life is objectively worthless right now, unless we're talking about the "intrinsic worth of the human life."

Something like that. It's more like the intrinsic worth of the individual to me.

(30-04-2014 06:43 PM)Charis Wrote:  My ex makes 120K per year. He's a fundy. He keeps dangling the money over me. He dangles our daughters over me. "Why won't you come visit your daughters? they miss you so much." But at the same time he makes sure I can't actually achieve that. He has a very good lawyer. I had to run away because of the abuse. I have no lawyer. There is clearly no "just and righteous" god.

God has nothing to do with this. Your ex sounds like a prick plain and simple. If your kids miss you so much and your ex really cares about them, he has the means to buy you a plane ticket and provide room and board for you to visit your daughters. ... I hate fucking pricks. ... Anywhere in Jersey's about 3 hours away from Girly. ManlyGirl's agreed to drive Girly to Jersey to pay prick a visit. Dude best not be home.

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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04-05-2014, 06:33 PM
RE: Seriously, what good am I?
Hey Charis, sorry to necropost, but I saw this video on my Facebook a few minutes ago and it made me smile, then I remembered this post. Hope it makes you smile too Smile Hug




Atir aissom atir imon
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04-05-2014, 06:44 PM (This post was last modified: 04-05-2014 06:47 PM by Charis.)
RE: Seriously, what good am I?
Feel free to necro, and thank you so much everyone. And Guley <3

For the moment, I'm okay, but it's a struggle. I'm trying to just keep my head above water, emotionally. I'm wanting to perhaps join the Freedom From Religion Foundation and also maybe write a book.... maybe get into some journalism. There's so much that people simply don't know that needs to come out.

And LOVE the video! <33

A person very dear to me was badly hurt through a misunderstanding and miscommunication. For this, I am sorry, and he knows it. That said, any blaming me for malicious intent is for the birds. I will not wear some scarlet letter, I will not be anybody's whipping girl, and I will not lurk in silence.
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04-05-2014, 07:39 PM
RE: Seriously, what good am I?
I give you this seal for whenever you feel bad.

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[Image: Guilmon-41189.gif] ♪僕は恐怖の一定した状態に住んで、不幸、逃すもう?僕は、それはもう痛いときも気づかないと
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