Sex and guilt
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19-08-2012, 11:01 AM
Sex and guilt
(19-08-2012 10:49 AM)kim Wrote:  
(19-08-2012 10:06 AM)Erxomai Wrote:  I've been wanting to read that book. I'm glad to hear a positive review. His other book, The God Virus is also on my list, I just have so many other things to distract me.

Darrel's a pretty cool guy. I've been to his place a couple of times - he has a nice pond and we BBQ and beer it up pretty good. I know of his work -skimmed some- but never read much of it. I really only know him from hanging at his place and from the talks he gives -which are great! He gives quite a few talks in the area and of course, he's a regular at the Reason Fest each year. I didn't know he was becoming that well known - good on him! Thumbsup

He's a regular on the Living After Faith podcast, which is how I heard about him.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of Calvinism is that good Atheists do nothing." ~Eric Oh My
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19-08-2012, 11:09 AM
RE: Sex and guilt
(03-06-2012 12:59 PM)VrGin Wrote:  What are your thoughts about cheating and casual sex.

I ask this question because I am a 21 year old guy who hasn't had sex, unless we count masturbation Blush, but has had numerous opportunities to go on with it because every time I feel that somehow I need to know the person I am with better. At some point with some girl who is engaged, I told myself I shouldn't care but I couldn't go on with it because I felt really guilty about the whole thing, so ended up turning her down.
On the other hand, letting go of this chances is kinda screwing up my self esteem cause it seems I don't have balls, and I am tired of masturbating... Weeping

Calling yourself VrGin, I think that you are putting far too much emphasis on your virginity. Don't get me wrong, sex can be great... I mean... really great... but the move from virgin to non-virgin is nowhere near as triumphant as you might imagine; angels won't appear at the bedside. It's basically just flesh on flesh. Think of it is a rather wet hand-shake.

And... really... don't obsess about making that transition. You'll find someone soon enough, but don't let it rule your life.

As for that engaged girl, I'd have done exactly the same. I live by the Golden Rule. Never, in my life, have I attempted to interfere in someone else's relationship, because I wouldn't want that done to me. You made the right call... and you're a better (more moral) person than some of the people in here who told you otherwise. Rolleyes
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20-08-2012, 04:23 AM
RE: Sex and guilt
(03-06-2012 01:14 PM)Anjele Wrote:  I think you need to break that into two separate issues because it is.

Cheating means that at least one partner is breaking a promise to another person. At that point, other people can be affected by those actions.

Casual sex between two consenting adults who are free to make that choice is a different thing altogether.

If you feel that sex shouldn't be 'casual' then you probably are going to experience some guilt over it.

Sounds like you had an opportunity to have sex with someone who was engaged, which implies they had made a promise to that person to be only with them. You were the person with more class in that situation since you stepped away.


I whole heartedly agree with what this person wrote. When I got married, I made a promise. I don't agree with the religious side of it, however I do take the promise seriously. If you felt guilt about getting laid with an engaged woman, it means you have a good sense of morals. I feel that is one of the nastiest things you can do to someone is break that promise. As far as casual sex between 2 consenting single adults or more for that matter, that is their choice. With all the disease out there, that is taking a risk. If you choose to risk it, then have fun. If not, find a woman that matches your ideals. Be picky though. I was and I am very happy.
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20-08-2012, 04:53 AM
RE: Sex and guilt
(04-06-2012 05:19 PM)Luminon Wrote:  Yes, I turned down some offers too, but for different reasons. I seemed to attract girls with a problem, who needed a quick lay to fix their self-confidence if they couldn't fix their weight. Or they were in relationship a jerk and instead wanted someone safe to be with and offered instant sex. What kind of relationship is that supposed to be? If I see the girl needs a psych, diet and gym more than me, who am I to deny that? Maybe I want too much from life, but I still think I deserve a girl that I can appreciate and one who is not fat.

A girl that is not fat? My wife is heavy, however she is smart as well. I like to learn from where other people went wrong. I used to watch married with children when I was a kid. I remember an episode when Al tries to talk his co-worker out of getting married and all of Al's friends sing a song. The idea of it was that if they knew how much weight their wives would gain after getting married, they would never had gotten married. You could marry a woman that is 300 pounds and after getting pregnant, she could shrink to be only 200 or less. The same goes the other way, she could start out at 150 and go up to 300 if there is enough stress. I tend to agree with Ron White, you just can't fix stupid. You can diet or do lipo for weight, get braces for teeth, wear a wig or get hair implants, get a breast enhancement, but stupid is forever. My wife is an awesome cook and I love her for other reasons as well. When we met, she was more than 100 pounds heavier than she is now and continues to lose without really trying. I think part of it is we eat healthy, and the other is that I have told her many times that I could care less about weight and she has always looked good for me. I agree you must be picky, however I disagree with what you are picky about. It is impossible to know what the future holds. In 10 years I could have a wife that other guys think is way out of my league, or a wife that the only one who finds her attractive is me. Either way, I don't really care. Bottom line is, be picky in the right way.
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20-08-2012, 05:18 AM
RE: Sex and guilt
(20-08-2012 04:53 AM)Birdguy1979 Wrote:  
.... Bottom line....

I think you underlined your point most comprehensively.

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22-08-2012, 04:48 PM
RE: Sex and guilt
(19-08-2012 06:06 AM)Chas Wrote:  
(19-08-2012 12:55 AM)DLJ Wrote:  Ok, maybe not, that doesn't explain the Canadians.

There are French Canadians and the rest, mon ami.Thumbsup

Wait...

What 'aboot' us Canadians now?
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22-08-2012, 04:57 PM
RE: Sex and guilt
(22-08-2012 04:48 PM)RexyRexaw Wrote:  
(19-08-2012 06:06 AM)Chas Wrote:  There are French Canadians and the rest, mon ami.Thumbsup

Wait...

What 'aboot' us Canadians now?

Non-French Canada was built primarily by Scots. Need I say more?

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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22-08-2012, 05:13 PM
RE: Sex and guilt
(22-08-2012 04:57 PM)Chas Wrote:  
(22-08-2012 04:48 PM)RexyRexaw Wrote:  Wait...

What 'aboot' us Canadians now?

Non-French Canada was built primarily by Scots. Need I say more?

So was a lot of the USA... but only the awesome parts. Wink
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