Sex as an Atheist
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23-05-2013, 04:20 PM (This post was last modified: 23-05-2013 05:05 PM by amyb.)
RE: Sex as an Atheist
Well, it's probably for the best if you don't stay together. If neither of your living situations is going to change soon, it's probably not worth it for either of you. You're young, you still have plenty of time to find something that works for everyone involved. If her main concern is being able to take care of the kid (nothing wrong with being concerned about that), then she is likely not the fun girl you're looking for to mess around in bed.

I'd suggest maybe looking in different places for potential dates. (Or moving somewhere else.)

Quote:Is is possible to have a sex life without women falling in love with you?
I had the same problem, roles reversed: unable to have recreational sex with guys without them wanting a relationship. I eventually gave up on relationships altogether. I think a large percentage of people are looking for potentially long term romantic relationships, especially when they do not agree to "just sex" terms beforehand (can still happen then,too, though).

As for kids, if a girl already has a kid, then .. uh.. she has a kid. If you are looking for a childfree person (who does not ever want kids), it may be a good idea to point that out right away. (My friend used to tell me about dates he'd go on from online dating sites. He had "doesn't want or like kids" on his profile, and she lied about not having kids, then mentioned them on the first date. He got up and walked away, right then and there. ^_^ ) If you are childfree, I don't think there is anything wrong with looking for a partner who is also childfree. People have all kinds of dealbreakers. I can understand if, for some people, having or wanting children could be a dealbreaker.
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23-05-2013, 04:51 PM (This post was last modified: 23-05-2013 04:56 PM by cbb2274.)
RE: Sex as an Atheist
There isn't a damn thing wrong about what you did. Sometimes the truth is all you can afford to give someone.

You seem decent, so you're probably going to have to deal with women falling in love with you if you have a sex life. You'll also probably have to deal with that if you're not decent. Either you want someone for sex and they want more, or they only want sex and eventually you both move on to other people--then you end up sleeping with someone who falls in love with you. Love is like the herp when you're not looking for it. It just keeps popping up to say hello.

Great. Now I'm thinking about my breakup. I hate watching people cry while they tell me they love me. I'd rather have a painful UTI.

"That's not the proof I want."
"You'll have such proof as exists. You are the only one responsible for your own wants."
- Isaac Asimov, I, Robot
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23-05-2013, 08:00 PM
RE: Sex as an Atheist
Let me see if I can paint a clear picture of your situation:

You are a young man with raging hormones (is there any other type?).
You have been indoctrinated to believe sex is dirty or sinful or both.
You come to the conclusion that religion is nonsense and that gods don't exist.
You meet a girl that will have sex with you for the first time in your life.
Your emotions are in turmoil, is this love, lust, both?
You feel guilty as hell because you still have all the religious indoctrination in your head.
You feel guilty because the girl says she loves you and you don't know what you're feeling towards her other than sexual desire.

Welcome to what most young men go through in their lives.

Bowsandarrows told you all you need to know: "be kind, be honest. wear a condom"
and as Chas said get the hell out of Provo and Utah for that matter as soon as possible, beautiful place to visit, horrible place to grow up as a young man who has just commited apostasy and has a raging hard-on.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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23-05-2013, 10:28 PM
RE: Sex as an Atheist
I suppose I drew the short straw on this one, and it just happened to be my very first. It isn't encouraging, but I know I will want to try again anyway.

The hardest thing about all this, is that I don't mind having love in a relationship. I just want it to be mutual, and fulfilling. If I can't give love back, it isn't.

I don't even really want, just a fuck buddy. I want a relationship where I can just be honest about how I feel, and not get my head bitten off for it. Is that so complicated?

Religion, rather than acting as a symbol of truth or justice, merely acts as a symbol of human gullibility and stupidity. Surely no race of beings with any real intelligence would concoct such drivel.
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23-05-2013, 10:34 PM
RE: Sex as an Atheist
You know, Full Circle, you hit the nail on the head. You have the situation down pat.

Although, I actually grew up in Virginia. I was forced to move to Utah when I was a Senior in high school.

Coming to Utah, where it was no longer possible to be Mormon in name only, my deconversion began, and after three years, here I am. A really horny, love starved, Atheist, who lives in a shitty place.

Thank you everyone for the advice. I appreciate it very much. I will feel confident in myself as I end this one, and look for another, with better life circumstances and a mentality more similar to mine. I am so glad I have all of you, and I am not alone.

Religion, rather than acting as a symbol of truth or justice, merely acts as a symbol of human gullibility and stupidity. Surely no race of beings with any real intelligence would concoct such drivel.
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24-05-2013, 05:12 AM
RE: Sex as an Atheist
(23-05-2013 10:34 PM)Prometheus762 Wrote:  You know, Full Circle, you hit the nail on the head. You have the situation down pat.

Although, I actually grew up in Virginia. I was forced to move to Utah when I was a Senior in high school.

Coming to Utah, where it was no longer possible to be Mormon in name only, my deconversion began, and after three years, here I am. A really horny, love starved, Atheist, who lives in a shitty place.

Thank you everyone for the advice. I appreciate it very much. I will feel confident in myself as I end this one, and look for another, with better life circumstances and a mentality more similar to mine. I am so glad I have all of you, and I am not alone.

"The Devil knows more because he is old than because he's the Devil"

Change just a few facts and I could have been describing me thirty years ago.
Stick around, people here tend to be very caring and helpful...snarky sometimes, funny most of the time...all in good spirit.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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24-05-2013, 09:45 AM
RE: Sex as an Atheist
(24-05-2013 05:12 AM)Full Circle Wrote:  "The Devil knows more because he is old than because he's the Devil"

Old Spanish saying? I see you're from Florida. I know a Cuban-American woman who likes to say this.

"That's not the proof I want."
"You'll have such proof as exists. You are the only one responsible for your own wants."
- Isaac Asimov, I, Robot
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24-05-2013, 10:30 AM
RE: Sex as an Atheist
(24-05-2013 09:45 AM)cbb2274 Wrote:  
(24-05-2013 05:12 AM)Full Circle Wrote:  "The Devil knows more because he is old than because he's the Devil"

Old Spanish saying? I see you're from Florida. I know a Cuban-American woman who likes to say this.

Yup!

"El Diablo sabe mas por ser viejo que por ser Diablo"

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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24-05-2013, 04:04 PM
RE: Sex as an Atheist
(23-05-2013 10:28 PM)Prometheus762 Wrote:  I suppose I drew the short straw on this one, and it just happened to be my very first. It isn't encouraging, but I know I will want to try again anyway.

The hardest thing about all this, is that I don't mind having love in a relationship. I just want it to be mutual, and fulfilling. If I can't give love back, it isn't.

I don't even really want, just a fuck buddy. I want a relationship where I can just be honest about how I feel, and not get my head bitten off for it. Is that so complicated?
I feel like, if the girl is in a desperate situation, worried about the kid, living with the parents, maybe a fuck buddy is not what she is looking for. If she's that desperate and can't get out on her own, she may well be looking for a serious relationship and someone to get her out of there. I don't know, but I think it's a possibility from the things you have said.

I think it might be better to look somewhere that you might find people just looking to have fun, nonserious, and to be up front about that. I don't necessarily mean "Hey, what's up? Wanna be my fuckbuddy?" But I mean more like being honest about just wanting to find a person to hang out and have fun with, and not necessarily looking for a huge commitment.
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