Sexuality vs. Lifestyle
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19-05-2014, 04:16 AM
Sexuality vs. Lifestyle
I wasn't sure where else to put this because it's kind of a unique question.


I was looking through FB comments recently, and one of them stuck out to me. The topic was homosexuality being displayed in the public forum. We always hear people say that they "don't mind gays, but stop shoving it in my face. Do what you want, but I don't want to see it." Of course, this presents its own array of issues, but I'm not gonna go into them here. This question pertains to an argument that was made, and I'd like to get everyone's take on it, because I'm not sure how I feel about it. The claim was this:

"It's a sexuality. Not a lifestyle. You don't need to go around doing [X] just because you're attracted to men/women. You don't see me flaunting my sexuality, and you don't need to either. Again, it's a sexuality, not a lifestyle."

As stated, there are a lot of ways to argue against this individual's sentiments, and they all have to do with freedom of expression and other civil liberties, but I'm focused mainly on his claim that sexuality and lifestyle are not synonymous. Is this true? What defines a sexuality, what defines a lifestyle, and what - if anything - prevents the two from being synonymous/dissimilar?

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19-05-2014, 04:57 AM
RE: Sexuality vs. Lifestyle
The answer is quite simple. There is no specific lifestyle for all straight people or all gay people.

My brother is gay and you would never guess so.

Your sexuality is about who you are attracted to. Your lifestyle is the way you live your life. They're not synonymous for the simple reason that if they were, all gay people would have the same lifestyle.

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19-05-2014, 05:06 AM (This post was last modified: 19-05-2014 05:13 AM by Cathym112.)
RE: Sexuality vs. Lifestyle
(19-05-2014 04:16 AM)Misanthropik Wrote:  I wasn't sure where else to put this because it's kind of a unique question.


I was looking through FB comments recently, and one of them stuck out to me. The topic was homosexuality being displayed in the public forum. We always hear people say that they "don't mind gays, but stop shoving it in my face. Do what you want, but I don't want to see it." Of course, this presents its own array of issues, but I'm not gonna go into them here. This question pertains to an argument that was made, and I'd like to get everyone's take on it, because I'm not sure how I feel about it. The claim was this:

"It's a sexuality. Not a lifestyle. You don't need to go around doing [X] just because you're attracted to men/women. You don't see me flaunting my sexuality, and you don't need to either. Again, it's a sexuality, not a lifestyle."

As stated, there are a lot of ways to argue against this individual's sentiments, and they all have to do with freedom of expression and other civil liberties, but I'm focused mainly on his claim that sexuality and lifestyle are not synonymous. Is this true? What defines a sexuality, what defines a lifestyle, and what - if anything - prevents the two from being synonymous/dissimilar?

I'd say that it's who you are. It's not a lifestyle, it's not your sexuality. Sexuality is like gender - it's who you are (that's why transgender people struggle so much. They feel female/male as who they are, but their body doesn't match their identify).

Whenever I hear this - usually from a heterosexual - I just have to shake my head. The reality is, heterosexuals flaunt their sexuality all the time. Even if they never actually touch their spouse in public, if they are out with their family, they are actively advertising that not only are they heterosexual, but that they've had sex (as evidenced by the presence of children).

When a man twists his neck around at a woman, he is actively flaunting his sexuality. Every time I run my hand along my husband's back when we are out - I'm flaunting my sexuality.

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19-05-2014, 05:16 AM
RE: Sexuality vs. Lifestyle
I think the speaker was just trying to seem less bigoted by hiding their homophobia behind the sexuality vs. lifestyle argument. The real question is would they condemn the exact same behavior if it was done in public by a straight couple. I would expect that person's view on public displays of affection to be something like this:

Straight couple holding hands = no problem
Gay couple holding hands = flaunting sexuality

Straight couple kiss = no problem
Gay couple kiss = flaunting sexuality

Straight couple makes out = "Hey, get a room you two!"
Gay couple makes out = flaunting sexuality

If that's not the case, and they're opposed to all forms of PDA whether straight or gay, then maybe discussing sexuality vs. lifestyle wouldn't be a waste of your time.

But...I'll give it a shot anyway.

I'd define lifestyle as things like what car you drive, where you live, what you do for a living, who you hang out with, what you do for fun, how you dress, etc.

I'd define sexuality as your gender identity, sexual orientation or preference, and what kind of sex activities you enjoy.

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19-05-2014, 05:53 AM
RE: Sexuality vs. Lifestyle
Sexuality and lifestyle are intertwined. I think that unless a person is really trying to hide it, their sexuality will become obvious to some people in a public setting.

Although everyone is different, it's probably safe to say most people over the age of maybe, 16, have expressed their sexuality around strangers; either knowingly or unknowingly.
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19-05-2014, 06:04 AM
RE: Sexuality vs. Lifestyle
Sexuality and lifestyle would have to be considered on a individual basis, tho for the most part I believe they really dont identify each other.

I think for most , the old 'what goes on behind closed doors' thing applies.

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19-05-2014, 06:41 AM
RE: Sexuality vs. Lifestyle
The word lifestyle is often used as a sociological term and can be interchangeable with culture; both refer to identity.

And now I am speaking of sexual identity not in the dominant category of straight.

Often we hear of the existence of gay culture, especially visible where you see large gay or other than straight communities. It is for these subcultures that the word lifestyle is used.

So then, Yes! in these cases lifestyle and sexuality are synonymous.

So, is straight / heterosexual also a culture? Yes, the dominant sexual culture. Because the power is in the hands of the dominant culture it does not need words like lifestyle and sexuality to claim identity or even to recognize itself as a culture. It just is.

I hope this is clear; I have to go.

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19-05-2014, 09:34 AM
RE: Sexuality vs. Lifestyle
I work out. I do this mainly for me, but I won't pretend I don't also do it to get laid. I keep myself well-groomed. I do this mainly for me, but I won't pretend I don't also do it to get laid. (Let's see how I feel about appearance 12 months into a zombie apocalypse for a more accurate explanation) I am charming. I am charming almost strictly so that I can get on peoples' good side, and thus, increase my chances of getting laid.

I am all of these things, partly, so that the female population will take notice. This is, I suppose, my "lifestyle", and I lead it partly with the intention of getting laid.

In my case, sexuality and lifestyle are almost synonymous. (Almost) There are times when lifestyle and sexuality part ways, yes, but our sexuality is a strong defining characteristic, and it will influence how we interact with the world around us.

Someone defined "lifestyle" as "what car you drive, where you live, what you do for a living, who you hang out with, what you do for fun, how you dress, etc." But, as I stated, in my case, some of those things have to do with getting laid. I would argue that lifestyle and sexuality are intertwined; if for no other reason than because our sexuality is an intrinsic part of us as biological entities. (Asexuals not included) What I do and how I act, from an evolutionary standpoint, has a great effect on whether or not I get to mate.

I realize I'm only speaking for myself, but, it seems that, to some degree, the two are synonymous.

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19-05-2014, 11:58 AM
RE: Sexuality vs. Lifestyle
As far as I'm concerned, its a distinction without a difference.

Are we really going to see a nicely dressed couple with wedding rings and a child walking to their car while carrying a bag with a couple steaks and putting away a credit card and say, "Man, I really hate the way people flaunt their heterosexual, reproductive, possessive marriage, meat-eating, fossil-fuel using, corporate business patronizing, clothes wearing, credit culture, consumerist lifestyle! Why can't they just keep it to themselves?"

You can't keep your "lifestyle" to yourself unless you don't live around anyone else. The distinction is just a dodge to avoid directly admitting they find that aspect of the person offensive and want society to tacitly recognize it as shameful.

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19-05-2014, 12:03 PM
RE: Sexuality vs. Lifestyle
(19-05-2014 11:58 AM)djhall Wrote:  As far as I'm concerned, its a distinction without a difference.

Are we really going to see a nicely dressed couple with wedding rings and a child walking to their car while carrying a bag with a couple steaks and putting away a credit card and say, "Man, I really hate the way people flaunt their heterosexual, reproductive, possessive marriage, meat-eating, fossil-fuel using, corporate business patronizing, clothes wearing, credit culture, consumerist lifestyle! Why can't they just keep it to themselves?"

Whos to say that the "couple" isnt gay, or are you implying that a "couple" only refers to hetrosexuals?

So much for the lifestyle agenda.

If bullshit were music some people would be a brass band.
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