Sexuality vs. Lifestyle
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19-05-2014, 12:16 PM
RE: Sexuality vs. Lifestyle
(19-05-2014 12:03 PM)War Horse Wrote:  
(19-05-2014 11:58 AM)djhall Wrote:  As far as I'm concerned, its a distinction without a difference.

Are we really going to see a nicely dressed couple with wedding rings and a child walking to their car while carrying a bag with a couple steaks and putting away a credit card and say, "Man, I really hate the way people flaunt their heterosexual, reproductive, possessive marriage, meat-eating, fossil-fuel using, corporate business patronizing, clothes wearing, credit culture, consumerist lifestyle! Why can't they just keep it to themselves?"

Whos to say that the "couple" isnt gay, or are you implying that a "couple" only refers to hetrosexuals?

I'd originally seen that problem and clarified it was a man and a woman, but then I edited that part of the post for clarity and brevity and forgot I still meant to put that part back. However, the point should still be clear... why is one limited thing "flaunting lifestyle" and everything else isn't? It certainly seems that people want to arbitrarily label one specific aspect as a "lifestyle" in order to attack it without directly admitting their real issue.

(19-05-2014 12:03 PM)War Horse Wrote:  So much for the lifestyle agenda.

I'm not sure what you mean by that. I'm not advocating for or against any lifestyle agenda, I'm just pointing out that selecting specific attributes or behaviors and labeling it a "lifestyle" open to attack is rather arbitrary and seems disingenuous.

Jesus is my Stalker: He has graced me with his unconditional love, but if I reject it and refuse to love him in return, he will make my life Hell.
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19-05-2014, 12:22 PM
RE: Sexuality vs. Lifestyle
(19-05-2014 12:16 PM)djhall Wrote:  
(19-05-2014 12:03 PM)War Horse Wrote:  So much for the lifestyle agenda.

I'm not sure what you mean by that. I'm not advocating for or against any lifestyle agenda, I'm just pointing out that selecting specific attributes or behaviors and labeling it a "lifestyle" open to attack is rather arbitrary and seems disingenuous.

Ah, ok, now I got it. It seemed somewhat vague and accusatory in the first post.

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19-05-2014, 12:23 PM
RE: Sexuality vs. Lifestyle
(19-05-2014 04:16 AM)Misanthropik Wrote:  I wasn't sure where else to put this because it's kind of a unique question.


I was looking through FB comments recently, and one of them stuck out to me. The topic was homosexuality being displayed in the public forum. We always hear people say that they "don't mind gays, but stop shoving it in my face. Do what you want, but I don't want to see it." Of course, this presents its own array of issues, but I'm not gonna go into them here. This question pertains to an argument that was made, and I'd like to get everyone's take on it, because I'm not sure how I feel about it. The claim was this:

"It's a sexuality. Not a lifestyle. You don't need to go around doing [X] just because you're attracted to men/women. You don't see me flaunting my sexuality, and you don't need to either. Again, it's a sexuality, not a lifestyle."

As stated, there are a lot of ways to argue against this individual's sentiments, and they all have to do with freedom of expression and other civil liberties, but I'm focused mainly on his claim that sexuality and lifestyle are not synonymous. Is this true? What defines a sexuality, what defines a lifestyle, and what - if anything - prevents the two from being synonymous/dissimilar?

I'd agree with that statement. I don't want to see straight couples making out at the mall just as much as I don't want to see gay couples making out (except hot lesbos, but I'm a guy...no surprise there). Holding hands, the occasional kiss, etc is totally fine.
On the flip side, if you're flamboyantly gay I don't want to hang around you just as much as I don't want to hang around guys that constantly talk about their sex lives or slutty women.
I'm not homophobic nor heterophobic, I just don't want to see/hear it all the damn time.

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19-05-2014, 12:23 PM
RE: Sexuality vs. Lifestyle
Though sexuality may not be the defining factor of a lifestyle, it can be strongly engrained in the culture. I love a good drag-queen theatre production. I also love attending gawdy Catholic weddings.
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19-05-2014, 12:32 PM
RE: Sexuality vs. Lifestyle
(19-05-2014 12:23 PM)LadyJane Wrote:  I love a good drag-queen theatre production. I also love attending gawdy Catholic weddings.

I never knew that there was a difference. Consider

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19-05-2014, 12:32 PM
RE: Sexuality vs. Lifestyle
Hmmm time for the Homo to chime in me thinks.

I don't have a gay lifestyle. I may be part of the gay sub-culture, but that does not make it my lifestyle.

If I dressed only in leather and had a mowhawk shaved into my hair that would be a lifestyle. I did not choose to be gay, I just am. Calling it a lifestyle either shows ignorance or is a way to hide their bigotry behind less loaded terms.

If I am with my boyfriend i want to be able to hold his hand or give him a kiss in public, but unless I'm in a community where homosexuality is either the norm or widely accepted I would most likely be accused of flaunting my sexuality. That is not flaunting my sexuality anymore than a hetero couple holding hands is flaunting their sexuality.

This argument I found in my experience is often employed when they attempt to hide their distaste for it.

A mohawk is a lifestyle choice. Often a lifestyle is one chosen, you choose to live in certain ways, i.e. eat only leafy green plants and call meat murder.

Being gay is not a choice. To me it is an innate part of who I am as a person, I can't separate it form myself anymore than I can stop being right handed, or favor my left leg when its freezing out.

Do ask them at which point they chose to live their hetero lifestyle, that may just possibly get them to see the point.

The requirement of evidence to back your claim does not disappear because it hurts your feelings, reality does not care about your feefees.
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19-05-2014, 01:06 PM
RE: Sexuality vs. Lifestyle
(19-05-2014 12:32 PM)War Horse Wrote:  
(19-05-2014 12:23 PM)LadyJane Wrote:  I love a good drag-queen theatre production. I also love attending gawdy Catholic weddings.

I never knew that there was a difference. Consider

Oh, I'm sure there are more similarities than some would like to admit. Shy
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19-05-2014, 01:49 PM (This post was last modified: 19-05-2014 02:17 PM by Dom.)
RE: Sexuality vs. Lifestyle
(19-05-2014 09:34 AM)Misanthropik Wrote:  I work out. I do this mainly for me, but I won't pretend I don't also do it to get laid. I keep myself well-groomed. I do this mainly for me, but I won't pretend I don't also do it to get laid. (Let's see how I feel about appearance 12 months into a zombie apocalypse for a more accurate explanation) I am charming. I am charming almost strictly so that I can get on peoples' good side, and thus, increase my chances of getting laid.

I am all of these things, partly, so that the female population will take notice. This is, I suppose, my "lifestyle", and I lead it partly with the intention of getting laid.

In my case, sexuality and lifestyle are almost synonymous. (Almost) There are times when lifestyle and sexuality part ways, yes, but our sexuality is a strong defining characteristic, and it will influence how we interact with the world around us.

Someone defined "lifestyle" as "what car you drive, where you live, what you do for a living, who you hang out with, what you do for fun, how you dress, etc." But, as I stated, in my case, some of those things have to do with getting laid. I would argue that lifestyle and sexuality are intertwined; if for no other reason than because our sexuality is an intrinsic part of us as biological entities. (Asexuals not included) What I do and how I act, from an evolutionary standpoint, has a great effect on whether or not I get to mate.

I realize I'm only speaking for myself, but, it seems that, to some degree, the two are synonymous.

No, they are not, not for you either. But you won't know that until you get a few more years on your back and probably a steady mate.

Sexuality goes through phases that are mostly governed by age (and somewhat by opportunity). Lifestyle goes through phases governed by such circumstances as study, work, marriage, money, children, location and so on and so on.

Sexuality is an instinct, a drive that varies in strength from person to person and various hormonal stages. What activates the drive is irrelevant, what turns you on doesn't affect whether it is sexuality or not.

Public display of affection and public display of sexuality are different, it can be a fine line, and you likely know it when you see it. Or more so, when you feel it because you are doing it.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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19-05-2014, 01:59 PM
RE: Sexuality vs. Lifestyle
(19-05-2014 01:49 PM)Dom Wrote:  No, they are not, not for you either. But you won't know that until you get a few more years on your back and probably a steady mate.

Sexuality goes through phases that are mostly governed by age (and somewhat by opportunity). Lifestyle goes through phases governed by such circumstances and study, work, marriage, money, children, location and so on and so on.

Sexuality is an instinct, a drive that varies in strength from person to person and various hormonal stages. What activates the drive is irrelevant, what turns you on doesn't affect whether it is sexuality or not.

Public display of affection and public display of sexuality are different, it can be a fine line, and you likely know it when you see it. Or more so, when you feel it because you are doing it.

Dom, you're my new hero...... exactly what I was thinking but couldnt put into words. Bowing Bowing

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