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18-07-2012, 12:20 AM
RE: The Joke Thread
Hey Rory, your pictures are removed by photobucket, try uploading them again.

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I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours.
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18-07-2012, 12:22 AM
RE: The Joke Thread
(18-07-2012 12:20 AM)Filox Wrote:  Hey Rory, your pictures are removed by photobucket, try uploading them again.
That's weird 'cos I can see them??? Consider

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18-07-2012, 12:52 AM
RE: The Joke Thread
I can see only "Sarcasm" one, the others are "removed or deleted by photobucket"... It may be my filter at work, but then they just wouldn't show up, not leave this message. Strange interwebz...

Smile

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21-07-2012, 10:58 PM
RE: The Joke Thread
[Image: McDonnell%2BUterus.jpg]

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein Certified Ancient Astronaut Theorist and Levitating yogi, CAAT-LY.
Yeah, for verily I say unto thee, and this we know : Jebus no likey that which doth tickle thee unto thy nether regions.

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22-07-2012, 09:01 AM
RE: The Joke Thread
I like my men like I like my coffee... ground up and in the freezer.

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10-08-2012, 06:39 AM (This post was last modified: 10-08-2012 07:01 AM by Filox.)
RE: The Joke Thread
A black man wanted to go to a masked ball dressed as Adam. He goes to the store to get a costume and the lady there tells him to undress so that she can measure him. He takes his cloths off, she looks down and says: "Forget about Adam man, just throw that over your shoulder and go dressed as a gas station/petrol pump".

Big Grin Big Grin

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13-08-2012, 11:05 PM
RE: The Joke Thread
I was visiting my son and daughter-in-law last night when I asked to borrow a newspaper.
"This is the 21st century, old man" he said, "we don't waste money on newspapers. Here, you can borrow my iPad".
I can tell you, that bloody fly never knew what hit it!

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13-08-2012, 11:50 PM
RE: The Joke Thread
Mitt Romney’s running mate Paul Ryan said he once drove the giant Oscar Myer hot dog car. Not to be out done, Joe Biden said he once put a hot dog all the way up his nose.

Speaking of Mitt Romney, porn star Jenna Jameson has announced her endorsement of the Republican nominee, this comes just weeks after Romney said if elected he would illegalize pornography. Not taking such a move sitting down, Bill Clinton came out of retirement.

Director Francis Ford Coppola said in an interview that he should have stopped after just one Godfather movie. In a related story, Rosie O' Donnell said she should have stopped after just one box of Krispy Kreme donuts.

Winnie-the-Pooh turned 85 years old over the weekend. You can tell Winnie is getting old because yesterday he was found with a jar of Lipitor stuck on his nose.

And finally.....

Speaking of Rosie O' Donnell, she said recently that she may not return to television. She then said she'll cross that bridge when she gets to it.

Leviticus does not justify stupidity, but it is more than enough to define corruption of the human mind.

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15-08-2012, 10:11 AM
RE: The Joke Thread
My dad came up to me and said "The future is yours. Whatever you want to do when you grow up, go for it; the skies the limit".

And I was very sad, because I wanted to be an astronaut.

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21-08-2012, 12:17 AM
RE: The Joke Thread
Comedian Stewart Francis has won an award for the funniest joke of the Edinburgh Fringe.

The top jokes were:

1. Stewart Francis - "You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks."
2. Tim Vine - "Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly. "
3. Will Marsh - "I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister."
4. Rob Beckett - "You know you're working class when your TV is bigger than your book case."
5. Chris Turner - "I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet… I don't know why."
6. Tim Vine - "I took part in the sun tanning Olympics - I just got Bronze."
7. George Ryegold - "Pornography is often frowned upon, but that's only because I'm concentrating."
8. Stewart Francis - "I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!"
9. Lou Sanders - "I waited an hour for my starter so I complained: 'It's not rocket salad."
10. Nish Kumar - "My mum's so pessimistic, that if there was an Olympics for pessimism… she wouldn't fancy her chances."
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