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06-07-2014, 12:20 AM
RE: Share A Joke
Guy to Pony: Hey, sing a song!

Pony to Guy: Sorry, I can't: I'm a little hoarse.

More Min Gee Ziss
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16-07-2014, 07:43 PM
RE: Share A Joke
[Image: funny-seven-ate-nine-comic.jpg]

[Image: Guilmon-41189.gif] https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOW_Ioi2wtuPa88FvBmnBgQ my youtube
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16-07-2014, 10:16 PM
RE: Share A Joke
You are what you eat.

Meow.

Religion is proof that invisible men can obscure your vision.
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17-07-2014, 08:53 AM
RE: Share A Joke
What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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19-09-2014, 08:37 AM (This post was last modified: 19-09-2014 08:43 AM by Can_of_Beans.)
RE: Share A Joke
In honor of national talk like a pirate day...

Q. Why do pirates carry soap?

A. So if they fall overboard, they can wash up on shore.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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19-09-2014, 08:42 AM
RE: Share A Joke
I am not normally a grammar Nazi but lets spell it right and pronounce it right it is "Fucks News", because that is what they do, they fuck news.

Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37
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19-09-2014, 08:48 AM
RE: Share A Joke
(19-09-2014 08:42 AM)Brian37 Wrote:  I am not normally a grammar Nazi but lets spell it right and pronounce it right it is "Fucks News", because that is what they do, they fuck news.
*let's

Smartass

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19-09-2014, 09:05 AM
RE: Share A Joke
(19-09-2014 08:48 AM)Vosur Wrote:  
(19-09-2014 08:42 AM)Brian37 Wrote:  I am not normally a grammar Nazi but lets spell it right and pronounce it right it is "Fucks News", because that is what they do, they fuck news.
*let's

Smartass

Listen Mr party smants, just because you have Paul Heinrich Dietrich AS YOUR AVATAR, doesn't give you the right to ruin my joke. NENEER NEENER AND FINGER WAG!

Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37
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02-10-2014, 06:33 AM
RE: Share A Joke
Q. Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?

A. Because they don't believe in higher powers.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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12-11-2014, 04:18 PM (This post was last modified: 12-11-2014 04:21 PM by Stuffed_Assumption_Meringue.)
RE: Share A Joke
Two people were arguing in an Irish pub. This in and of it's self wasn't unusual but Patrick and James had been friends for life and had never agreed to this extent. It had started as a mild disagreement over the relative merit of the local football teams goalie but had now degenerated into a shouting row on manliness.

Being loud and drunk the they were kicked out of the pub. Where they continued to yell in the in the street. "I am tougher." "I am stronger." "I am faster." Until they shouted themselves out and calmed down.

Wanting to remove any possibility of continued emnity, James said "Look. I'm alright and you're alright. Why don't we settle this once and for all? There's a construction site not far from here and we can compete until we find something the other can't do. Right?"

Patty, slightly abashed, agrees and they drunkenly stumble down the street to the construction site.

Once inside James casts around and sees a large hole, dug for one of the buildings footings and sets off running, draws hilself togeter for a fantastic leap and barely clears the trench, clipping his shins on the edge. Patty being the game type, removes his shirt, takes his runup and leaps, clearing the pit with a full metre to spare.

James is impressed and says as much but refuses to give in. Maintaining the initative he looks about the yard and sees a cement truck. "Just you watch this." He walks over to the truck, takes a firm hold to the side and hoists himself up using only his arms. Only for Patty to walk over, take off his pants and again exceed the feat, climbing in less time and using only one arm.

James, feeling slightly frantic, despite the triviality of the contest, asks his friend "How are you doing this?" Recieving the reply "God made me manlier for a reason."

So James cast's about for a final test and spy's a pile of cinder blocks. He climbs down and says "Oh. You'll never top this." Snatches up one of the cinder blocks, spins and pulls off a perfect throw. The heavy brick sails fifteen metres through the air, over the cement truck and comes down with a terrific bang, breaking the block.

Patty is impressed, takes a deep breath and slowly removes his underwear. "I'll certainly have to cut loose to beat that."

So Patty reaches into himself, grabs the cinderblock and spins. He launches the brick into the air like a bullet from a gun; it flys over the truck, over the footing and over the fence. Still rising, the cinderblock passes over the street, over the pub they came from and finally disapears from view in the distance.

And so the matter was settled and they parted friends.

Patty was later fined for tresspassing and missing and damaged materials. His clothing had been found on site.

Soulless mutants of muscle and intent. There are billions of us; hardy, smart and dangerous. Shaped by millions of years of death. We are the definitive alpha predator. We build monsters of fire and stone. We bottled the sun. We nailed our god to a stick.

In man's struggle against the world, bet on the man.
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