Share A Joke
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 1 Votes - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
20-12-2010, 07:42 AM
 
RE: The joke Thread
uoting Christopher Hitchens:

"What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with a Unitarian?"
-Someone who knocks on your door for no reason.
Quote this message in a reply
21-12-2010, 12:51 AM
 
RE: The joke Thread
[Image: 91jjv7.png]
Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes mBear's post
28-12-2010, 03:56 PM
Smile RE: The joke Thread
The UN was planning a world wide survey with only one question to see how well they where doing.

The question went as follows:
“Give your honest opinion about the food-shortage in the rest of the world.”

The survey was a big failure...
In south America and Russia they did not know what “honest” was
In China and Cuba they did not know what “your opinion” was
in Africa they did not know what “food” meant
in Europe they had no concept of “shortage”
and in the US they never heard of “the rest of the world”
Big Grin

Observer

Agnostic atheist
Secular humanist
Emotional rationalist
Disclaimer: Don’t mix the personal opinion above with the absolute and objective truth. Remember to think for yourself. Thank you.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Observer's post
27-01-2011, 03:42 PM
RE: The joke Thread
A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a restaurant and the hostess says, "Just one tonight sir?"
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes cfhmagnet's post
28-01-2011, 02:50 PM
RE: The joke Thread
[Image: memes-dad-humor-the-gentleman-troll.jpg]

Correct me when I'm wrong.
Accept me or go to hell.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Kikko's post
29-01-2011, 10:42 AM
 
RE: The joke Thread
This isn't a joke, but it's funny. I just saw a Christian that said Christianity isn't a religion

O_O
Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Speiraz's post
20-02-2011, 11:43 PM
RE: The joke Thread
At the end of the tax year, Revenue Canada office sent an inspector
to audit the books of a local hospital.

While the auditor was checking the books he turned to the CFO of the
hospital and said, "I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with
the end of the roll when there's too little left to be of any use?" "Good
question," noted the CFO. "We save them up and send them back to the
bandage company, and every now and then they send us a free box of
bandages."

"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual
question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way.
"What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what's
left over after setting a cast on a patient?"
"Ah, yes," replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector was trying
to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We save it and send it back to
the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free package of
plaster."

"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could
fluster the know-it-all CFO.

"Well," he went on, "What do you do with all the leftover foreskins
from the circumcisions you perform?"
"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the CFO. "What we do is save
all the little foreskins and send them to Revenue Canada , and about once a
year they send us a complete prick."

When I find myself in times of trouble, Richard Dawkins comes to me, speaking words of reason, now I see, now I see.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like No J.'s post
07-06-2011, 01:06 PM
RE: The joke Thread
'It's In The Bible'

There was this Christian lady that had to do a lot of traveling for her business so she did a lot of flying. But flying made her nervous so she always took her Bible along with her to read and it helped relax her. One time she was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out her Bible he gave a little chuckle and went back to what he was doing.

After awhile he turned to her and asked "You don't really believe all that stuff in there do you?"


The lady replied "Of course I do. It is the Bible."


He said "Well what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale?


She replied "Oh, Jonah. Yes I believe that, it is in the Bible.


He asked "Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the whale?"


The lady said "Well I don't really know. I guess when I get to heaven I will ask him."


"What if he isn't in heaven?" the man asked sarcastically.


"Then you can ask him." replied the lady.

http://www.jokecenter.com/jokes/Religion/201.html

"The bible has been shown to be logically, historically, philosophically, sociologically, scientifically and even morally dead wrong about everything back to front" - Aron Ra
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
09-06-2011, 06:16 AM
RE: The joke Thread
A priest and a rabbi play golf.

First hole.
The priest hits a hole-in-one the rabbi misses.
The rabbi exclaims : "To hell with it ! , I missed "
The priest says : "Be careful , my son ... god will be angry"

The Second hole.
The priest hits a hole-in-one the rabbi hits a sand trap.
The rabbi exclaims : "Son of a bitch !! , I missed "
The priest says : "Be careful , my son ... god will be angry"

The Third hole.
The priest hits a hole-in-one the rabbi trows the ball off the course.
The rabbi exclaims : "Goddamnit !!!"
A bolt of lightning from the heavens kills the priest , followed by a voice "Me-dammit , I missed"

Atheism is a religion like OFF is a TV channel !!!

Proud of my genetic relatives Big Grin
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
09-06-2011, 04:10 PM
RE: The joke Thread
'God granting miracles'

A religious man is on top of a roof during a great flood. A man comes by in a boat and says "get in, get in!" The religous man replies, " no I have faith in God, he will grant me a miracle."

Later the water is up to his waist and another boat comes by and the guy tells him to get in again. He responds that he has faith in god and god will give him a miracle. With the water at about chest high, another boat comes to rescue him, but he turns down the offer again cause "God will grant him a miracle."

With the water at chin high, a helicopter throws down a ladder and they tell him to get in, mumbling with the water in his mouth, he again turns down the request for help for the faith of God. He arrives at the gates of heaven with broken faith and says to Peter, I thought God would grand me a miracle and I have been let down." St. Peter chuckles and responds, "I don't know what you're complaining about, we sent you three boats and a helicopter."

http://www.ahajokes.com/reg28.html

"The bible has been shown to be logically, historically, philosophically, sociologically, scientifically and even morally dead wrong about everything back to front" - Aron Ra
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread: Author Replies: Views: Last Post
  Offensive Joke Thread Vosur 671 27,064 19-07-2014 08:19 PM
Last Post: CiderThinker
  Louis CK joke about atheism cbb2274 18 3,979 23-05-2014 09:22 PM
Last Post: Michael_Tadlock
Wink The Religious Unintentional Joke Thread Dark Light 34 4,026 29-01-2014 03:13 PM
Last Post: Vera
  Joke too far?? bemore 20 1,147 05-03-2013 03:59 PM
Last Post: smidgen
  Just a Joke about Canadian lady N.E.OhioAtheist 31 5,236 08-02-2012 09:42 PM
Last Post: Erxomai
  The Lighthouse joke gaglamesh731 2 958 26-03-2011 06:41 AM
Last Post: Kikko
  Post a joke Juppers 32 6,190 07-05-2010 12:27 PM
Last Post: Juppers
Forum Jump: