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13-06-2012, 07:05 AM
RE: The Joke Thread
(13-06-2012 12:38 AM)aurora Wrote:  Warning: Not to be told to anyone prudish.
What sits in the corner getting smaller and smaller????a baby coming its hair with a potato peeler.

Whats worse that fingering your baby sister???? Finding your dads wedding ring whilst your doing it.

How can you tell when your sister is on her period???? When your dads penis tastes of blood. Cool

For no matter how much I use these symbols, to describe symptoms of my existence.
You are your own emphasis.
So I say nothing.

-Bemore.
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13-06-2012, 10:40 AM
RE: The Joke Thread
The Priest of a small village was very fond of his flock of ten hens and a cockerel.

He kept them in a hen house behind the parish, but one Saturday night, the cockerel was missing.

The priest, suspecting fowl play decided to say something about it at church the next morning.

At Mass, he asked the congregation, has anyone got a cock? To which all the men stood up.

"No,no," he said, somewhat flustered, "that's not what I meant. "Has anybody SEEN a cock?" All the women stood up.

"No, no," he said. "Thats not what I meant either. Has anyone seen a cock that doesn't belong to them." Half the women stood up.

"No, no," He said, now thoroughly embarrassed "Perhaps I should rephrase the question: Has anybody here seen MY cock?" All the choirboys stood up.
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14-06-2012, 01:12 AM
RE: The Joke Thread
[Image: ePcsD.jpg]

[Image: a6505fe8.jpg]
I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours.
-Hunter S. Thompson
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14-06-2012, 09:12 AM
RE: The Joke Thread
What do you get when you mix a prostitute and a deer???

A Horny broad who fucks for bucks. Cool

For no matter how much I use these symbols, to describe symptoms of my existence.
You are your own emphasis.
So I say nothing.

-Bemore.
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14-06-2012, 02:39 PM (This post was last modified: 14-06-2012 02:43 PM by Vosur.)
RE: The Joke Thread
A janitor is cleaning the church, when suddenly the priest runs out of the confession booth.

He bumps into the janitor and tells him to cover for him because he had run to the bathroom.

Surprised, the janitor tells the priest that he doesn't know anything about confessions.

The priest hands him a sheet of paper and tells him to find the sin on the list and it will tell him how many Hail Mary's to give.

So the janitor goes in and then a lady goes in for her confession.

She says: "I'm cheating on my husband." The janitor thinks, says it's adultery and looks it up the the paper, that'll be two Hail Mary's.

The lady says: "That's not all, I also slept with him." The janitor thinks again, says it's adultery and looks it up the the paper, that'll be two more Hail Mary's.

She then says: "I also gave him a blowjob." The janitor looks on the paper, but can't find the word "blowjob".

He gets nervous and runs out of the booth, looking for help. He finally reaches a little alter boy and asks him: "What does the priest usually give for a blowjob?" The little alter boy looks at him and says: "Two candies."
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18-06-2012, 06:48 PM
RE: The Joke Thread
Prayer for
Grandpa






This is just too beautiful not to share.

[Image: prayerforgrandpa.jpg]








Dear God, please send clothes
to all
those poor ladies on
grandpa's computer.

Humankind Dodgy (a total misnomer)
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19-06-2012, 06:50 AM
RE: The Joke Thread
I laughed my head off when I heard this Ricky Gervais joke yesterday. Smile

A teenage girl goes into her house and approaches her father who is reading the paper.

Daughter: Dad ive just been on the park with my mates and something happened.....
Dad: Ok honey.........do you want to tell me what???
Daughter: Well I was chilling with my mates when this strange guy approached us and asked me for his help.
Dad: Ok.......... what happened then???
Daughter: He wanted me to go into the dark bushes and asked me to help him find his dog.
Dad: And did you???
Daughter: Yes I did......... I wasnt thinking at the time.
Dad: Dont blame yourself, what happened then dear???
Daughter: Well when we got in there he started to touch me.
Dad: and............
Daughter: He got his "thing" out and it was standing up
Dad: and............
Daughter: Then nothing happened.
Dad: (furiously masturbating) NOTHING???? Quick make something up.

For no matter how much I use these symbols, to describe symptoms of my existence.
You are your own emphasis.
So I say nothing.

-Bemore.
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20-06-2012, 06:17 AM
RE: The Joke Thread
A man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm.

His wife is lying in bed reading.

The man says.......... "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache."

His wife replies......... "I think you'll find that is a sheep."

The man replies........ "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."

For no matter how much I use these symbols, to describe symptoms of my existence.
You are your own emphasis.
So I say nothing.

-Bemore.
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21-06-2012, 11:59 AM
RE: The Joke Thread
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

For no matter how much I use these symbols, to describe symptoms of my existence.
You are your own emphasis.
So I say nothing.

-Bemore.
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22-06-2012, 05:14 AM
RE: The Joke Thread
I haven't been paying much attention to this thread, but I think this post and possibly a few others cross a line. If this forum is to have any relationship to the TTA podcast can I just suggest that the content not be blatantly offensive and triggering to victims of rape and other forms of abuse?

Give me your argument in the form of a published paper, and then we can start to talk.
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