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17-05-2013, 01:50 PM
RE: Share A Joke
I don't know if you can call this a joke, or not. Lady friend of mine says,
"I don't know why my x-husband called it lubricant. Shoulda called it lubriCAN!"
I thought it was funny!!!

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21-06-2013, 08:52 PM
RE: Share A Joke
I just love a story with a happy ending Big Grin

She walked up and tied her mule to the hitch rail. As she stood there brushing dust from her clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand, and a bottle of whisky in another.

The young gunslinger looked at the old woman and asked "hey OLD woman, you ever danced?"

The lady looked up and said, "nope. never did dance; ...never really wanted to either!" A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger smiled and said, "well, you old bag, you gonna dance now". He pulled his iron and emptied all 6 shots into the ground near the woman. Not wanting her toes blown off the old gal hopped up and down to dodge the bullets. He re-holstered his gun, and turned to go back into the saloon to the sound of laughter from the crowd.

Old lady turned to her pack mule, pulled out a double-barrel shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The click loud enough to echo all across and up & down the street; instantly silencing the crowd. Gunslinger turned around REAL slow,...and saw that the woman's aim was not shaky; those huge open 10-gauge barrels not wavering a millimeter!

The lady asked, "son....you ever licked a mule's ass?"
Gunslinger swallows & says, "no mam....but.....I've always wanted to"

Evil_monster

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21-06-2013, 09:20 PM
RE: Share A Joke
A boy walks in the confession room and talks to the pastor

boy:forgive me,pastor,for i have sinned.

Pastor:what did ya do

boy:i had sex with a young lady,but i wont tell her name out of respect for her

pastor:who is it?

Boy:told you i wouldnt tell...

Pastor:was it sarah? Or lilith? Or was it eve?

Boy:im not telling

pastor: you are forbidden to go to church for 1 month!

Then the boy walks out of church to his friend.
Friend:what did you get?
Boy:3 new girls and 1 month vacation.

KC IS A LIAR!!!! HE PROMISED ME VANILLA CAKES AND GAVE ME STRAWBERRY CAKE Weeping
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21-06-2013, 09:32 PM
RE: Share A Joke
A wife is having an affair when she hears the front door closing followed by her husband yelling "Honey, I'm home."

"Quick! Jump in the closet before he gets up here!" she whispers to her lover.

He grabs his clothes and runs to the closet. Once inside he is aghast to find the young son of the woman he had been having fun with.

Little Boy: "Sure is dark in here."

Man: "Yeah"

Little Boy: "Wanna buy a baseball for $20?"

Man: "Now why would I want a $20 baseball?"

Little Boy: "Well I could yell right now, My dad would hear it and get to wondering."

Grumbling the man reaches for his wallet and hands the boy a $20 bill.

The following day the husband comes home early again and once again the man finds himself in the closet.

Little Boy: "Sure is dark in here."

Man: "Oh no, not again."

Little boy: "Wanna buy a baseball glove for $50?"

Man: "Fine."

Another day passes and again the man finds himself in the closet.

Little boy: "Sure is dark in here"

Man: "How much?"

Little boy: "Well this here bat's gotta be worth $100"

Man: "Sigh"

So that Saturday the day asks if his son wants to play some ball with his old man. "Gee, I'd like to pop but I sold my bat ball and glove." Father:"Well son how much did you get for em?" "$20 for the ball $50 for the Glove and $100 for the bat" "Son thats horrible, you shouldn't cheat your friends like that! We are marching down to the church and you are going to confession, right now!"

So the boy goes into the confession booth.

Little Boy: "Sure is Dark in here."

Priest: "Oh don't start that again your in my closet now."

[Image: Hitchhikersguide_zps7678fbae.jpg]
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01-07-2013, 10:08 AM
RE: Share A Joke
I've had enough! I am challenging God Almighty to a debate. That's right, folks, I am putting my intellectual prowess up against God Almighty, Creator of the Universe. The topic: Does God Exist?

The debate will be held in Central Park at 12:15 p.m. tomorrow. There will be no moderator. There will simply be two microphones. Neither will be connected to any sort of amplification system.

At precisely 12:15, I will take my place behind one of the microphones. If God shows up and takes his place behind the other microphone...

He wins!
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04-07-2013, 01:05 PM
RE: Share A Joke
What did the grape say when it was crushed?

Nothing it just let out







a little wine.

Weeping

(12-11-2011 08:01 AM)houseofcantor Wrote:  "Love is merely chemistry" is a deception. We are merely chemistry. Love makes us master chemists.
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04-07-2013, 03:33 PM
RE: Share A Joke
(04-07-2013 01:05 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  What did the grape say when it was crushed?

Nothing it just let out







a little wine.

Weeping



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06-07-2013, 01:58 PM
RE: Share A Joke
You know, I was thinking of telling a chemistry joke. But when I tell them to other people, I get no reaction

I've got 2 tulpas, Taunav and Eris. If you don't know what a tulpa is, read this.
http://community.tulpa.info/thread-kiahd...-to-tulpas
If Taunav has anything to say, he'll be speaking in []
If Eris has anything to say, she'll be speaking in {}
If you think I'm insane, I don't care
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10-07-2013, 05:28 AM
RE: Share A Joke
[Image: Image_25333.jpg&width=618]

[Image: a6505fe8.jpg]
I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours.
-Hunter S. Thompson
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10-07-2013, 02:52 PM
RE: Share A Joke
How many people of a specific group does it take to do a specified task? Multiple. One to perform the task, and the rest to act foolishly within the parameters set by the stereotypes that accompanies the group to which they belong.

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