Share your de-conversion story
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 12 Votes - 3.58 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
08-01-2014, 06:41 PM
RE: Share your de-conversion story
(16-12-2013 04:49 PM)goodwithoutgod Wrote:  I used to be a believer, grew up the son of a minister, I was surrounded in its glory, saw the ins and outs...as a young married man both of my daughters were diagnosed with infantile tay sachs disease, a horrible terminal disease with no cure...slow death came to them, my family surrounded us, we prayed, we rocked, I cried, I dont think there is a human on earth that prayed harder than I during that year of sorrow..I beseeched heaven and earth to take me instead....guess what happened? they died in my arms three months apart...this was 1998.

My wife committed suicide 2 months later..couldnt take the pain. I wanted to die, but unfortunately it appears I am extremely mentally resilient..never saw a shrink, never popped a pill, I cried, I moved on, one foot in front of the other. Now I know you are thinking Ah, that is why he hates god, no, I started researching, thinking, asking questions, starting with the obvious why...the ministers and leaders told me things like "we dont know god's plan", "It is not of us to question god", "god allowed this to happen to bring you closer to him" etc etc..

i remember one night we had the church to ourselves, they opened it up, and a dozen preachers were there, we anointed the girls, prayed, and then the senior guy put his hands on my children and prayed, and shook and then looked at me and said, the power of jesus christ has healed them...you have only to turn your life to jesus, and believe and they are healed....yeah, no...they died. What kind of sick man tells a grieving heart broken couple that?

Anyway, I went on my trail of why...why did this happen, why would a god allow this to happen, then that started other questions...why was the 14 million jews allowed to be mass murdered...why this and that...what is this religion, what is it based on, I read the bible cover to cover, I started comparing it, learning the back stories.....needless to say, the more I learned, the less I believed...all total nonsense. I expanded my search to other religions, the more I looked and read and investigated, the more ridiculous the story was....i didnt "turn from god" because my family died, but that experience gave me the drive to think, to learn, to read, to research, to discover that it is a clever, subjugative corrosive made up thing that the majority of the human race has embraced.

your story made me cry. I can't even imagine the pain of your loss. Hug


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Bows and Arrows's post
21-01-2014, 02:39 PM
RE: Share your de-conversion story
(10-06-2013 08:35 PM)Hughsie Wrote:  It's been suggested that we have a stickied thread for everyone to post their de-conversion stories in and I think it's a fantastic idea, so here it is.

My own de-conversion was rather boring. I gradually realised it was all bullshit, didn't have a big coming out moment but my family became aware, some of them were disappointed while others weren't bothered, there's the odd argument about religion in my house but nothing major.

I know others here have far more interesting stories though so please, begin sharing.


Some people didn't de-convert. I went to Sunday school but had no idea what it was about. I heard stories about Jesus riding a donkey and then when I heard he was crucified but he came back to life I figured it was a magic trick straight away and could not figure it out at all so I told my parents I wasn't going to Sunday school anymore and that was it.

Also, I never believed in Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny, or the Bogey Man. So, I did not have to go through a deconversion from those beliefs either.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
23-01-2014, 03:12 PM
RE: Share your de-conversion story
Don't think I actually de-converted. I spent most of my life trying to believe and spent lots of time studying christian teachings but most of it never did come together in any logical way. There was no great big deal for me when I finally accepted the fact I did not accept religious teachings or the notion of god.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes wazzel's post
27-01-2014, 01:38 PM
RE: Share your de-conversion story
So I was raised in a fundamentalist evangelical church (Plymouth Brethren for most of that time, for those who may be familiar) sine the time of about 8. We were there Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesdays. Went to Sunday School, youth group, summer camps - the whole rot. I always had nagging doubts about things like "walking in the spirit" and answer to prayer seemed pretty random. But I never thought of not believing all through high school, and even became a quite evangelical and something of an apologist in college. Got married, started a family, and stayed involved in church in to my mid 30's (even a deacon for a while, if you can believe it).

I guess my path to deconversion started when hard right wing politics started mixing in with evangelicalism. I didn't like what I was hearing, and I guess that was the trigger for me to start questioning and reading. The more I thought about it, the more difficult it became to maintain the cognitive dissonance. It was a gradual process. I started flirting with more liberal and mainline interpretations of the bible and christianity (Genesis isn't literal, hell isn't eternal, universal salvation...). This coincided with looking in to more left leaning christian groups like Sojourners.

Eventually, as I read more from people outside of the "bubble", the more I came to the realization that there was no reason to try to hold on to my beliefs - they just weren't true. This was a very difficult time - all our friendships and support systems were intertwined with our church. But I was miserable sitting in the pew every week. This was a time of pretty deep depression and anxiety - thankfully I found a good psychologist and psychiatrist who helped through this time - along with my wife, and my brothers who had found their way out a few years before me.

Now, 3 years on, I am free of religion completely, and I enjoy meeting people of all types, without judging them through the filter of conservative fundamentalist christianity. I am thankful I removed my children from that toxic environment and have encouraged them to think for themselves and engage the world with an open mind.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like meremortal's post
31-01-2014, 01:30 PM
RE: Share your de-conversion story
(27-01-2014 01:38 PM)meremortal Wrote:  So I was raised in a fundamentalist evangelical church (Plymouth Brethren for most of that time, for those who may be familiar) sine the time of about 8. We were there Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesdays. Went to Sunday School, youth group, summer camps - the whole rot. I always had nagging doubts about things like "walking in the spirit" and answer to prayer seemed pretty random. But I never thought of not believing all through high school, and even became a quite evangelical and something of an apologist in college. Got married, started a family, and stayed involved in church in to my mid 30's (even a deacon for a while, if you can believe it).

I guess my path to deconversion started when hard right wing politics started mixing in with evangelicalism. I didn't like what I was hearing, and I guess that was the trigger for me to start questioning and reading. The more I thought about it, the more difficult it became to maintain the cognitive dissonance. It was a gradual process. I started flirting with more liberal and mainline interpretations of the bible and christianity (Genesis isn't literal, hell isn't eternal, universal salvation...). This coincided with looking in to more left leaning christian groups like Sojourners.

Eventually, as I read more from people outside of the "bubble", the more I came to the realization that there was no reason to try to hold on to my beliefs - they just weren't true. This was a very difficult time - all our friendships and support systems were intertwined with our church. But I was miserable sitting in the pew every week. This was a time of pretty deep depression and anxiety - thankfully I found a good psychologist and psychiatrist who helped through this time - along with my wife, and my brothers who had found their way out a few years before me.

Now, 3 years on, I am free of religion completely, and I enjoy meeting people of all types, without judging them through the filter of conservative fundamentalist christianity. I am thankful I removed my children from that toxic environment and have encouraged them to think for themselves and engage the world with an open mind.

Wow. Your story is almost identical to mine, save for the minor details. Even the timeline and bit about being a deacon (I was an elder) are accurate.

You're not alone!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes RobbyPants's post
31-01-2014, 02:26 PM
RE: Share your de-conversion story
Meremortal,
I'm ex-PB too! So is anonymous66. RobbyPants, are you ex-PB as well?

It took me four years to find you guys. I'm so glad to meet you all. Now, I don't feel so crazy for leaving the PB.

Regards,
Doc
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like docskeptic's post
01-02-2014, 12:32 AM
RE: Share your de-conversion story
I was six.

A catholic nun told us school kids that unbaptised babies end up in hell. I thought she was a simple, stupid woman.
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Mark Fulton's post
03-02-2014, 07:28 AM
RE: Share your de-conversion story
(31-01-2014 02:26 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  Meremortal,
I'm ex-PB too! So is anonymous66. RobbyPants, are you ex-PB as well?

It took me four years to find you guys. I'm so glad to meet you all. Now, I don't feel so crazy for leaving the PB.

Regards,
Doc

Ex-Lutheran (Missouri Synod).

The similarities I mentioned were more of the time frame of the deconversion, the rough age, having worked as an elder/a deacon in the church, trying to reconcile religion and politics, reading more and believing less, and being misserable sitting in church.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes RobbyPants's post
03-02-2014, 03:09 PM
RE: Share your de-conversion story
(31-01-2014 01:30 PM)RobbyPants Wrote:  
(27-01-2014 01:38 PM)meremortal Wrote:  So I was raised in a fundamentalist evangelical church (Plymouth Brethren for most of that time, for those who may be familiar) sine the time of about 8. We were there Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesdays. Went to Sunday School, youth group, summer camps - the whole rot. I always had nagging doubts about things like "walking in the spirit" and answer to prayer seemed pretty random. But I never thought of not believing all through high school, and even became a quite evangelical and something of an apologist in college. Got married, started a family, and stayed involved in church in to my mid 30's (even a deacon for a while, if you can believe it).

I guess my path to deconversion started when hard right wing politics started mixing in with evangelicalism. I didn't like what I was hearing, and I guess that was the trigger for me to start questioning and reading. The more I thought about it, the more difficult it became to maintain the cognitive dissonance. It was a gradual process. I started flirting with more liberal and mainline interpretations of the bible and christianity (Genesis isn't literal, hell isn't eternal, universal salvation...). This coincided with looking in to more left leaning christian groups like Sojourners.

Eventually, as I read more from people outside of the "bubble", the more I came to the realization that there was no reason to try to hold on to my beliefs - they just weren't true. This was a very difficult time - all our friendships and support systems were intertwined with our church. But I was miserable sitting in the pew every week. This was a time of pretty deep depression and anxiety - thankfully I found a good psychologist and psychiatrist who helped through this time - along with my wife, and my brothers who had found their way out a few years before me.

Now, 3 years on, I am free of religion completely, and I enjoy meeting people of all types, without judging them through the filter of conservative fundamentalist christianity. I am thankful I removed my children from that toxic environment and have encouraged them to think for themselves and engage the world with an open mind.

Wow. Your story is almost identical to mine, save for the minor details. Even the timeline and bit about being a deacon (I was an elder) are accurate.

You're not alone!

Wow. My dad was an elder. He decided to step down when his children went apostate (he is still a very convinced believer). I hate that religion for the guilt and shame it causes people to feel about themselves.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
03-02-2014, 03:12 PM
RE: Share your de-conversion story
(31-01-2014 02:26 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  Meremortal,
I'm ex-PB too! So is anonymous66. RobbyPants, are you ex-PB as well?

It took me four years to find you guys. I'm so glad to meet you all. Now, I don't feel so crazy for leaving the PB.

Regards,
Doc

No kidding! Your sunday school materials makes a lot of sense now. We did get pumped full of "knowledge", didn't we? The further away I get, the crazier I feel for believing it in the first place. Definitely was hard to break away.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: