Share your de-conversion story
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10-10-2015, 05:37 PM
RE: Share your de-conversion story
(10-10-2015 05:02 PM)WillemRM Wrote:  I'm going to stop here because we are seriously of topic.

I'm sure a lot of people on this forum will not like this. It's my mistake as I asked you to enlighten me. But as I still care for my reputation, bye bye and sorry.

Mate many here believe Alla is a POE. Don't let it worry you.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
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10-10-2015, 07:02 PM
RE: Share your de-conversion story
(10-10-2015 03:14 PM)Alla Wrote:  
(08-10-2015 12:12 PM)WillemRM Wrote:  I do recall that I tried a few times to make a promise /prayer to God that if he helped me to solve some mathematical problems during school tests I would start doing a real effort in worshiping him, but divine inspiration didn't come.

I have a question. Why couldn't you do it yourself? Why did you have to ask God's help? Was it because you didn't have time to prepare for the test? you were kind of lazy to prepare for the test? you worked very hard but still couldn't understand how to solve those math problems?
I may explain to you why God didn't help you at that time.

Off topic of this thread. Nobody needs or wants you to fucking explain anything. You are doing a wonderful job at driving people away from the idea of god, though.

By the way, you are never, ever, ever going to be a goddess. Even your awful Mormon gods have more sense than that.
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20-10-2015, 12:49 AM
RE: Share your de-conversion story
I was never anything but an atheist.
My parents weren't into religion when I was young but allowed me to go to Sunday School for I dunno what church and I only wanted to go because I liked the morning teas they laid out and I was good at the crafts and doing the end of year plays.

When I was a teenager I remember saying to a neighbour lady who was my mum's best friend for a while that I believed in "Man, Not God."
I started to worship the devil for a while before my older brother told me he'd come and get me one day.
Then I pretty much didn't believe in anything.

I got married in a Catholic Cathedral, for the drama of course.
My hubby and I had to do some course back then and promise to have our kids, when they came along, baptised, which we never did. Oops.

About 10 years ago my parents became Jehovah's Witnesses.
They lived about 2 hours drive from me so I had no idea what was going on, mum never mentioned anything about it on our frequent phone calls.
This was before I even had a computer but they had one and all I knew was they had joined a computer club.
This slippery fellow who had been visiting them since I was a kid finally got his hooks into them.
There were times this JW would come when my dad wasn't home and my mum and I would hide behind the couch until he was gone. Now she calls him brother!

I started to re-read the bible just so I had ammo to throw at them.
A lot of the time it worked and sometimes it didn't because they were learning the bible too as well as the Watchtower and Awake!

Fast forward time and now my parents live in the same town as me. They sold their big property to be with me and my family which was wise on their behalf because we live in a country city with everything an elderly person could want and it's all only 5 minutes drive from their house, whereas before it took half an hour to get to the nearest town.

My father got quite depressed when they moved here. He missed the bush and the mates he made in his previous congregation.
My dad was a bit of a loner and had no friends really apart from my mum who was the love of his life and the brothers and sisters of the JWs.

I talked to my dad constantly about the JWs and why they had joined and why I'd never heard him talk about God before or taught me about him as a kid. Instead he'd taught me to be a strong woman, a questioning woman, one who didn't take things on face value just because someone said so but to look into things for myself.
He became my 'pastor' of sorts. We discussed Jehovah and everything and he managed to explain things to me in a way that I could understand but I just couldn't step over that threshold into faith and belief.

Then my dad died last November. He was quite old but it was sudden though it took a week for him to die.
My whole family thinks that was the last gift he gave us - the ability to want to let him go because he was suffering.
I read parts of his bible to him as he lay dying, I know he would have been happy to hear it.

Then there was the JW funeral which pissed me right off as the bloke who got up to talk about my dad was the same that got them into it and after 30 years still couldn't pronounce the name of my parents home town or my first name.

Fast forward again, my mum is alone, back from a holiday to get away from things and I start to take her to the Kingdom Hall.
All the JWs know I'm an atheist and surprisingly they don't care! They welcome me, give me tracts or whatever to read and are as friendly as anything!
Then I realise they are love-bombing me.

I have talks with them and go to meetings with my mum and these people cannot believe that I cannot believe! But they are very good about it.
I ask them questions and they ask me, we're at a stalemate so I go to You Tube for answers.

Forget the JWs, I found Ray Comfort!!! And I think I'm getting sucked in!
His views are preposterous and his tactics are lame but yet I find myself scoffing less and listening more. And I really don't like it. What if he's right?
What if Kent Hovind is right? I found him a while ago too. We don't have these people here in Australia, so I look them up on You Tube.

Okay, so I know Kent is wrong and I'm sure Ray is wrong too but my un-faith is shaken and that's what's wrong with me. Please help!

Sorry this post was so long.

I'm a happy little vegemite. Hobo
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20-10-2015, 01:30 AM
RE: Share your de-conversion story

Hello! Big Grin



I hope folks here about make you feel welcome, happy and help point out the really silly things about Mr Ray Comfort.


Perhaps start a new thread all of your very own where people can hep with your questions and such?
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20-10-2015, 04:38 PM
RE: Share your de-conversion story
(Mostly stream of consciousness typing.)

My deconversion wasn't a sudden, earth-shattering event. I suspect that this rarely happens. I think in 2010 I realized I was an atheist and not just one of those "not religious, but spiritual" types.

I was raised Roman Catholic. My father was a second-generation American whose family was from Ireland. My mother is a French-Canadian, specifically Acadian, from Nova Scotia. I was already destined to be Catholic. My father lived sort of close to the Cathedral of St. Patrick. In a strange twist, my maternal grandmother had a cousin who was a priest at St. Patrick's. When my mother first moved to the USA, she and her mother would visit him there. Another odd thing is that I was born on St. Patrick's Day. (No, I'm not named Patrick.)

Seeing as my family was Catholic, I had the whole shebang. Baptized as an infant. Little's boy First Communion; I think I still know some of the words to Ave Maria. I was an altar boy. My family weren't overly Catholic. I think my father was Catholic because he was raised that way, but he probably didn't really feel it. He grew up in the stereotypical Irish Catholic life. We didn't have a choice, though; Mass was mandatory. When we returned to the USA from Canada, we didn't really go to church anymore. That was fine, since Mass, Kyrie Eleison, and the Apostle's Creed bored me.

Catholicism taught me that asking the wrong questions was not good. When I was 6, my younger sister was still in my mother's womb. The questions about how she got there led to the inevitable birds and bees discussion. But when you mention in Sunday School that Mary wasn't really a virgin because she had other kids... (Years later I learned the official explanation is that Mary regained her purity upon death.)

When I was about 11 or 12, we had an intro to evolution as part of our science/biology. Our science teacher mentioned she had to present creationism as an alternative (I think that's gone now, but for that short time they had to). I hadn't given it much thought, but even at that age, before this class, I had seen a verse that led me to believe that things evolved. It's in Genesis and it mentions "Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing..." so it made sense that the earth and all living things were connected and came from the physical source. At the end of this class, we had to write a paper defending the opposite of what we believed. Since this was in the Bible Belt (North Carolina), I'd wager everyone in class believed that God made it all. I had to write a paper defending evolution and not creationism. The teacher said mine was the only one that was worth reading, and the only one that got a passing grade. She read it aloud, saying she would not divulge the student's name to protect said student. I forget the majority of it, but at the end one of my points was that if God made everything, what made God? I'm fairly sure everyone knew it was me.

Fast forward. I got caught up in a church from its magazine. Made sense to me. They claimed to the The Original and True Christian faith. They all do, huh? This caused trouble. When a Catholic boy says he doesn't want his Confirmation, this isn't taken well.

This church, however, say you were to read the Bible yourself. This could be done with or without their free correspondence course. Of the many things they had, they didn't have Easter or Christmas because they were pagan holidays. According to them, those holidays were not allowed. Instead it was Passover, Day of Atonement, etc. Most of the Jewish holidays, but without Hanukkah and so on. In the eighth grade, I mentioned in class that Christmas wasn't originally a Christian holidy. Instead of asking why, I was labeled by everyone at my table as an atheist. I tried to explain I wasn't, but it was too late. A former friend now hated me. His friends chimed in and that year was hell. Thankfully, this school had almost all eighth graders in the county. The following year I didn't attend the same high school as the ones who were convinced that "atheist" meant "someone who doesn't fall in line with the traditional beliefs."

This church said sometimes the "truth" is discovered by everyday people and not just clergy. Again, made sense to me. I read what some of them described as confusing parts in Revelations. It wasn't confusing to me. It made perfect sense to me. So as a good Christian boy, I wrote them a long letter explaining and decoding what I'd read. Glory to be God! Someone from the church headquarters wrote back, saying thanks for writing, and maybe one day we'd figure out what it meant. That was a letdown. Reminded me of my childhood Catholic priest telling me to stop asking so many questions.

Soon after high school, I sort of had a Christian-type belief but belonged to no church. Years and years went by with the occasional journey into religion. Tried to reconcile the huge list of contradictions. Even studied old words of original texts. I was sure I was missing something. The ones who said there were contradictions were just too lazy or angry to figure it out!

Found a form of meditation I really liked. Since many, if not most, religions like meditation, I figured this would help. After a long time, I had a vision. It wasn't a nice, happy vision. I won't go into detail here, but that's why now no horror or gory movie does much to me. The things I saw sort of galvanized me against that sort of thing. It was worse than being stuck in a nightmare. This was real and not just flat images. My analytical brain picked it apart. What I saw was inside my brain and not some sort of magical force I had tapped into. I still occasionally have to deal with it, but now I know it's just a brain pathway. Doesn't last more than a minute or so. More of a memory and not the panicky feeling now.

Back and forth, sometimes even thinking that if I study other religions, maybe there was a "real answer" that we were all missing. Maybe each religion had a piece of the truth. Even wrote down ideas for a meta-religion. (Looking back, it was silly.) Eventually I started to keep a journal. I figured if I wrote it down, it would help me focus on what I was thinking and feeling. Then I'd figure it out! My journals referred to "Ab" (using Hebrew and Aramaic words), trying to figure out what exactly I believed in.

This in turn led me to Kabbalah, but not the Yehuda Berg Hollywood celebrity version of it. This was Isaac the Blind and Zohar and sephiroth. Traditional Kabbalah. This intrigued that part of my brain that loves to research things. The mysticism of Kabbalah got me thinking on many different things, including how those guys wrote the letters, figuring out vowels in old text, learning ancient words and their connotations/denotations, and what I thought was real thinking. But soon that led me to other problems and loopholes in religion. Again, I wrote and wrote.

I decided to let it lie. I remembered reading that part of the brain will think about something even while you don't focus on it. (I can't remember what part right now.) Occasionally I'd concentrate, but I generally let my brain do its work. I can't explain how it looks in my head, but what I used to envision as a sort of 3D linked net of beliefs was now a group of disconnected, smaller bundles that don't have enough to keep them connected. I didn't want to admit I was an atheist. That was because I still had that idea that there must be soemthing. But why did I think that? Why did there have to be?

All through those years, reading about various sciences and philosophies was always important. I can't go too long without learning something new. It bothers me if I don't. I knew that to understand the world and ourselves, we had to learn about such things. The sciences are so important, regardless of religion.

Now I'm atheist. Makes the most sense to me.
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02-11-2015, 01:44 PM
RE: Share your de-conversion story
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07-11-2015, 12:35 AM
RE: Share your de-conversion story
Most of my story follows so many others. Grew up in a fundamental Pentecostal household where Father led the Sunday School and ruled the household. I followed through with all the requirements - the baptism, the choir singing , the youth group, etc., but I always questioned everything and never really felt connected to the church.

The two questions that always nagged were: 1. If we were so sure of our church's correctness and others thought theirs was correct, what did we have that they didn't. How different were the Pentecostals from other Protestants and then Catholics and then other religions entirely? At what point as you moved away from our church was there enough difference to where those people were going to Hell but those closer were headed for Heaven?
2. When I was told to try to convert someone and they said "Why?", I was supposed to point to the Bible but, if they said they didn't believe in the Bible, there was nowhere to go except the circular argument of "The Bible's right because the Bible says so." No one ever had an answer for this but then, we were taught to not ask too much.

We were pushed to do well in school but not go further unless it was to Bible school. Too much of the wrong kind of learning was thought to be dangerous to one's faith and, boy , was that right. University was the beginning of the end of religion for me although I tried to stay the course through working life but eventually I read enough about alternate views, including atheism, online and through print.

It's a tough moment to finally declare in your own mind that you don't believe anymore. Then comes the introduction of the dreaded "A" word to family but the dread of that was actually worse than the experience. I have a sneaking suspicion that some of my siblings have similar doubts. In any case, it's a transformative experience and incredibly freeing plus I don't have to waste time and money on an institution that took a lot of both.

Faith is believing what you know ain't so. Mark Twain
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09-11-2015, 10:37 PM (This post was last modified: 09-11-2015 10:42 PM by naturalista.)
RE: Share your de-conversion story
i grew up in a freethinker household, no one tried to convert me into any religion

i started to question the world and to seek for some higher truth from early childhood. i made a lot of harsh but also very positive real life experiences, i always exlored people, nature and urban life and peoples psychology not from books but interactions with humans. i am naturally very empathic person so i started to seek for an answer to the question if there is a higher self or god, but if he does not exist i knew it would not hold me back from still being an idealist. i started to explore all religious texts from various religions from judaism to buddhism and there was lot of BS there but also lot of metaphysical, anatomical, and psychological stuff which made a lot of sense to me. instead of believing in a god i started to believe in a higher self inside of me and practised meditation, gone vegan, started to lose ego and interest in worldly things and egoistical duality games between me and other humans. i had lot of coincidences so i started to believe in the "thoughts attract things" philosophy which seemed to draw people and circumstances to me. the only thing which did not stop to bother me was and has always been from my birth on "why there is so much suffering in this world" and why does the universe not answer the positive thoughts and prayers of millions of hungry, poor, injured, sick, war raped, murdered humans... actually i never believed in the concept of karma because i cannot imagine a child which is raped to be repsonsible for his own rape and the rapist to be free from guilt, if karma was real then there could be no victims and no perpetrators, and of course no free will cause everything would be predetermined and the cycle of suffering and revenge would never end.. after a while i started to look behind the mythologies of the world religions until i realised and got a moment of enlightenment(a rational one)!! i realised all religions are based on natural cycles of life and natural physical laws wrapped into metaphorical stories and fayrytales..
i realised jesus is just a metaphor for the sun and ist movement through the seasons of the year and equinoxes, that satan is nothing else than seth the representation of darkness and night and winter in contrast to the life saving light and warmth of the sunlight which represents spring, summer and life. i realised apocalypse means apollo eclipse = ancients believed an eclipse is end of the world cause it gets completely dark. i realised life and death go hand in hand which explains why there is so much suffering in the world and no benevolent god does a thing about it, because life and natural law is clear, only the cunning and strong survive and the meek and weak perish... this realisation brought me to the path of naturalism/atheism which requires a honest perception of this world and acceptance of harsh natural laws and reality but also gives you freedom from superstitions and confusion and false hopes and delusion..

this was my path to atheism/naturalism

Drinking Beverage
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29-12-2015, 05:58 AM
RE: Share your de-conversion story
I don't class myself as ever being a believer. I was brought up in an anglican household. My mother was the driving force behind it. My father didn't care.
I was dragged to church most Sundays to endure 90 minutes of unrelenting tedium.

I had issues with a lot of what I'd been told - you must love god more than your family, if you don't believe in god you'll burn in hell forever, angels and the devil were real...

As a child I tried to believe because my mother was telling me all this was true. But so many things didn't make sense - if Jesus died for my sins why did I have to go to church each week and confess my sins - hadn't that all been taken care of? Where did the dinosaurs fit in with the story of Noah's ark? If all these people knew that Jesus was their saviour at his birth, how come no one believed it later on? I was told I asked too many questions.

I was in my teens when I came to the conclusion that I didn't have to believe all this rubbish, and it was such a feeling of liberation, like getting out of a dungeon.

My mother may have unwittingly sown the seeds by providing me with plenty of books as a child. I was always reading and adored science (still do).
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01-01-2016, 10:45 AM
RE: Share your de-conversion story
I just feel really silly and ashamed of my former beliefs, my family did a good job of breaking my brain.
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