Share your embarrassing childhood stupidity
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18-02-2014, 04:00 PM
RE: Share your embarrassing childhood stupidity
(18-02-2014 03:46 PM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  
(18-02-2014 02:30 PM)undergroundp Wrote:  I still needed to hold my mum's hand while getting one when I was 17 Blush

Don't feel too bad. I still need to hold someone's hand when I get stuck with a needle. The last time I had to have blood drawn, I nearly passed out.

Hug

I can't tell if it's actually the needle or the idea of "you should be afraid of needles because they hurt" that gets stuck in your head since you're a baby Tongue

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18-02-2014, 04:06 PM
RE: Share your embarrassing childhood stupidity
(18-02-2014 04:00 PM)undergroundp Wrote:  
(18-02-2014 03:46 PM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  Don't feel too bad. I still need to hold someone's hand when I get stuck with a needle. The last time I had to have blood drawn, I nearly passed out.

Hug

I can't tell if it's actually the needle or the idea of "you should be afraid of needles because they hurt" that gets stuck in your head since you're a baby Tongue

I've pondered this myself. I really have no idea why needles cause the reaction in me that they do. I cringe at the sight of a hypodermic needle, even on TV. However, I have absolutely no problem with other types of needles. I've taken sewing lessons and have no problem with those needles, even when they accidentally prick me and draw blood. I have several tattoos and have never had a single issue watching my skin get punctured and bloodied several thousand times in a row.

But to this day, hollow needles scare the bejesus out of me.

Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up.

"Let me give you some advice, bastard: never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister
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18-02-2014, 04:25 PM
RE: Share your embarrassing childhood stupidity
I went into a stall in a public restroom once, and then couldn't figure out how to open the door to get out. So I panicked and started crying and pounding on the door. I don't remember whether I eventually figured it out or if someone came and rescued me. The stupid part, though, is that it never occurred to me to just crawl under the door (it didn't go all the way to the floor).
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18-02-2014, 04:36 PM
RE: Share your embarrassing childhood stupidity
When I was very young, I got into my mom's birth control, and ate about a full month's supply. I thought they were candies she was hiding from me, but they didn't taste very good Dodgy Laugh out load when my mom went to take her pill a couple of hours later, the jig was up. We went right to the emergency room for a good dose of ipacac to make me throw it all up Confused

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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19-02-2014, 11:35 PM
RE: Share your embarrassing childhood stupidity
When I was about 5 we lived in Tahoe near a grove of quaking Aspen trees. I misunderstood and thought every one was calling them Aspirin trees and since the bark was white it made sense. I tried to eat the bark. Not good.

I also tried to help the local bird population by taking dried grass and making nests for them. I waited to see if they would use them for a home. They didn't.

Around the age of 6 I was convinced that I was invisible. I went through the day to see if my family was paying much attention to me. They weren't so, yup, I was invisible. It seemed to last until my mother called me in for dinner though.

I came from a large family. I was the youngest. On a shopping trip they accidentally left me in a Pennys department store in Reno and forgot about me until they got half way back to Tahoe My parents started counting heads in the car and realized I wasn't in the car. They drove back and found me happily playing in the toy department, oblivious that I got left behind.

Shakespeare Insult 13 – Henry IV Part 1
“That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?”
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20-02-2014, 12:09 PM
RE: Share your embarrassing childhood stupidity
I rolled up a poster I had one day and decided to visit some stranger's house to try and sell it. This truck started to come up the road, so I decided to pretend to feint. The truck stopped, and I got up and looked at the passenger. That is where I learned the middle finger expression. Laugh out load
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20-02-2014, 12:25 PM
RE: Share your embarrassing childhood stupidity
My mom loved this perfume, http://www.neimanmarcus.com/Jean-Patou-J...ci_gpa=pla

It was just as expensive back in the late 60s.

Anyway when I was around three I dumped the whole bottle on the dog and rubbed it in because he smelled bad.

I also used to try to ride the dog and I would feed him kibble one at a time and sometimes even reach into his mouth and take it back out again.

I also remember taking a bite of a milkbone dog biscuit. All I remember was that didn't taste like milk.


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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20-02-2014, 12:28 PM
RE: Share your embarrassing childhood stupidity
I watched a Jesus movie when I was eight, believed it, and convinced my parents to go to church with me. Omg... what a mess that caused.
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21-02-2014, 06:29 AM
RE: Share your embarrassing childhood stupidity
- Once, at a friend's birthday party (I'm still not sure how I, a JW, ended up at that party), I heard that the birthday girl and her friends were going to be playing "Light as a feather; stiff as a board" in the basement. I didn't know what that was, so I asked them. Immediately after they explained it, I yelled "Witchcraft!" and ran around the party trying to warn the adults of the impending "satanic" activity. I was legitimately freaking out and none of the parents seemed to take it seriously. (How could they not?! BITCHES WERE GONNA BE HOVERING!!!) At some point, my friend's mom asked my mom if she would calm me down or take me home. Regrettably, my mom was proud of my moral objection, and she refused to silence me; thus allowing me to raise hell at the party and make an ass of myself. (And if that's not ironic, I don't know what is)

- Growing up, I never had a game system of any sort. When the Sega and Playstation and Dreamcast (anyone remember that?) were big, all of my friends had them and I had nothing. Nothing but vaguely-gun-shaped sticks in the woods that I'd collect and play with on my own. Thus, when I was at school and listening to my friends ramble on with one another about what they did in their games, I had nothing to contribute. So, quite naturally for someone my age, I decided to make shit up. I'd listen to them talk about their game levels and how the game works for a while; picking up basic points and ideas and then I'd jump in and boast about how I'd done all of that stuff and more. The fun part about that was, whenever I'd make something up that wasn't possible in the real game and they'd call me out on it, I'd play it off like I'd found some secret in-game ability that none of them had found. Because "I swear it happened!" I'm sure a good many of them went home and played their games trying to find whatever monster or secret weapon or hidden level I'd pulled out of my ass and bragged to them about. (Even more amusing was when they returned to school claiming they'd found it…Guess I wasn't the only one bullshitting on the playground)

- This one wasn't me, but it was a friend of mine. She and I discovered that we both liked the band Steppenwolf, and she wasted no time in telling me that her dad was the guitarist. Being the gullible little spit-fuck that I was, I believed her whole-heartedly and even assisted in spreading the word that she was related to a rockstar.

When we reconnected after a few years of lost contact, I remembered the whole thing and asked "You were pretty much lying your ass off, weren't you?" She almost choked on her sandwich because she was laughing so hard and she confessed that it'd all been bullshit. Somehow, I wasn't surprised.

- As a young kid, (probably about 6 or 7) I didn't know what the purpose of an erection was. I just knew that sometimes I felt excited and my dick would get hard. Around this same time, my dad was still assisting in my bath time, and on one occasion I was late for a bath because my dick wouldn't stop being hard. I remember him yelling to me from the bathroom in increased annoyance and I was getting nervous because it really wasn't going down. So, after careful thought, I decided that I'd go up for my bath and if he asked about it, I'd tell him that's just how my dick was. "Nothin' out of the ordinary here, pop. My little soldier is always at attention; it's just how the good Lord made me. I'll thank you kindly not to stare in wide-eyed amazement."

He never said anything; even after I bounded into the bathroom with my joystick at full-attention, but it was the very first thing that leapt to the front of my mind when he gave me "the talk" a few years later and I realized what I'd done that night. I'm sure my face went pale.

- When I was little, my parents had a little workshop area in the laundry room. There was a big, wooden work desk and a cabinet full of tools and adhesives and sprays and paints and such. For some reason, I went through a phase of intense interest in mixing and experimenting with various chemicals. When no one was around, I'd go into the workshop and remove some of the various bottles and sprays from inside the cabinet, then I'd climb atop the cabinet and start pouring these things together in a pile; just to see what would happen. Turns out not much happens when you make a big pile of glue and putty and bug spray. Other than a spanking, of course.

- My dad was a "prepper" before prepping was cool. Connected to the aforementioned laundry room/workshop, there was a much smaller storage room, and this was dubbed "The War Room". Inside, my dad had installed many large shelves and had stocked them all with canned foods and crates upon crates of bottled water. Well, when I was about 13 and testosterone had begun flowing through me, I went through a phase of acting out violent scenes from movies (or just from my colorful imagination) and wanting to see tangible results from my activities. So, I made a habit of taking a knife or pair of scissors and going into the war room and stabbing the bottles of water and watching them "bleed". (One of the first signs that made me realize I should be an actor) After a few weeks (or perhaps months) of this, my dad - who had kind of lagged behind in his prepping efforts - decided to go into the war room and do an inventory check. When he did so, he found cases and cases of 1-liter water bottles stabbed and thrashed and empty with mold growing inside their cardboard boxes and along the shelf-tops. I needn't comment on just how angry he was; I'm sure you can use your imagination. (Mom, on the other hand, was worried that her son was a psychopath. lol)

- When I was about 16, my parents finally stepped into the 21st century and purchased a full cable package. We'd had HBO and Cinemax for a while, but they finally upgraded to all of the OnDemand stuff. Being a virile young lad, I was curious about the "Adult" category, and was amazed to find that I could get actual porn…well, on demand. (No longer would I have to set up hidden camcorders to figure out the internet passwords)

The problem, of course, is that adult films on demand are about $10 a pop, and the titles show up on the monthly receipt. Thinking I was clever, however, I recalled an instance in which I'd ordered some other movie on demand and it never showed up on the receipt. I then recalled that I hadn't watched that movie all the way through, and reasoned that our account wouldn't be charged if I stopped watching a movie half-way through. Confident that my hypothesis was correct without any further investigation whatsoever, I waited until my parents were gone every day so that I could run downstairs, drop trou and start clicking away at that remote like there was no tomorrow. I'd order "8-inch MILF Injection", go crazy on myself through the first scene, then go to the menu and order "Jenna's Lesbo Poolparty", work my way through part of that, and then repeat the cycle for 6 or 7 movies. Once satisfied, I'd go to my order menu and cancel all of the orders; thinking that canceling them would also ensure that no money would be spent.

Well, obviously, that didn't work, and at the end of the month, my parents ended up with over $500 in pay-per-view porn on their bill. The worst part was that my mom had to go to the cable office to pick up the receipt, and I was with her at the desk when the woman informed her about the price. All 3 of us were shocked, but none so much as I.

- One Summer, a few friends and cousins flew in from across the country and had lunch with us at our house. Being that we were all boys, we promptly ventured out into the breezy afternoon to see what sort of trouble we could get into. We soon happened upon the abandoned house down the street, and I came up with the bright idea of shooting it up with my newly-acquired BB gun. So for the better part of an hour, all of us boys took turns shooting the windows and the patio lamps and the doors and everything on the van that was parked in the driveway. It was good old-fashioned adolescent fun.

That is, until a month or so later when the owner returned home from his extended stay in the hospital. (I swear I thought the place was abandoned) The neighborhood was abuzz with news of the poor old man who's house had been ruined by vandals and my sister - my lovely, lovely sister - was so overcome by guilt regarding her knowledge of the incident that she threw us all under the bus. Conveniently, all the other kids had long-since gone back to Arizona and I was left to take full blame.



Ahh, good times.

Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
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21-02-2014, 08:29 AM
RE: Share your embarrassing childhood stupidity
We would have been good friends as kids, miso. Angel

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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