Should I *make* my daughters take MMA/self-defense?
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15-05-2014, 03:54 PM
Should I *make* my daughters take MMA/self-defense?
I've been wondering about this. Many of you have an idea of some of my history.

Well I have 2 young daughters. The oldest is at the age when starting martial arts is a good thing.
My instructor doesn't teach ONLY Tae Kwon Do, but also other arts and practical self-defense.

The following is from another thread:
(15-05-2014 03:41 PM)Mathilda Wrote:  
(15-05-2014 03:07 PM)John Wrote:  I think there's a tad bit too much rape on these forums. Dodgy

There seems a tad too much rape on all discussion forums and social media. It's like an easy way to bully people by exploiting a conditioned fear.

Imagine a couple that have a son and daughter. They both grow to be teenagers and start to wonder off outside of the house at night with their friends without the parents there to look after them. The girl is physically weaker than the son and because rapists exist the parents worry more about the daughter's safety. They assume the son can look after himself, or at the very least will have the urge to fight back because he has testosterone.

The parents start to feel a lack of control and the most they can do to compensate is to press upon the daughter the need to be careful. This may make sound sense but the unintended consequence is that it also conditions the daughter to be more afraid of men. And this inadvertently makes them more likely to be victims. Rapists are bullies and bullies being cowards themselves will prefer victims that are too afraid to fight back. The irony is that men are more likely to be a victim of violence from other men because they are seen as more of a threat.

If I was a parent I would teach both the son and the daughter that they can defend themselves if they know how regardless of the relative size, strength and shape of their attacker. I would try to empower them both rather than make them fearful. That alone will make them less likely to be a victim. In reality no one, whether male or female, ever knows how to deal with violence from others unless they have already previously been exposed to it. Having confidence in certain skills to defend yourself can make your first exposure to violence less of a shock though.

The rape culture that's prevalent on social media is a form of bullying that exploits this conditioned fear instilled into women and girls by worried parents. Bullies will use any weakness that they can. Threatening rape on social media, which thankfully doesn't happen here, is an easy way for immature and inadequate young boys to immediately gain power over other people to compensate for the lack of agency they have in their own lives.

Now my little daughter doesn't have much of an interest in Martial Arts/self defense right now. That said, many kids aren't that excited about math either, but we still make them take it, because it's good to know.

What thoughts do you guys have on all this?

A person very dear to me was badly hurt through a misunderstanding and miscommunication. For this, I am sorry, and he knows it. That said, any blaming me for malicious intent is for the birds. I will not wear some scarlet letter, I will not be anybody's whipping girl, and I will not lurk in silence.
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15-05-2014, 04:01 PM
RE: Should I *make* my daughters take MMA/self-defense?
If they are teenagers then you could sell it to them. It means that they have more freedom because you won't have to worry so much. They'll be fitter, trimmer with no need to diet or worry about their weight, have more confidence in themselves, will be glad of those skills if they ever need them and will be more likely to find decent boyfriend material Smile If they're younger than that then you could treat it like a family activity.

They might need to find the art appeals to them though. All the new women that came to the club when I did Thai boxing were handed off to me. I found a lot of pride in teaching them how to throw a hefty punch within half an hour. Tae Kwon Do or a passive martial art might be more up their street.
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15-05-2014, 04:02 PM
RE: Should I *make* my daughters take MMA/self-defense?
I thought kids think it's cool to do martial arts.

Well, it's definitely useful and it could lead to a healthier lifestyle in the future.
I always tell my mom she should have forced me to go take ballet lessons or something when I was little so I'd be all flexible and stuff.

However, you can't really "make" a child do something, they won't even advance in it if they don't like it.

You could present it to them and all the good stuff that comes with it, give them a demonstration and/or a "test" class. If they're still not interested, let it go.

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15-05-2014, 04:10 PM
RE: Should I *make* my daughters take MMA/self-defense?
(15-05-2014 03:54 PM)Charis Wrote:  Now my little daughter doesn't have much of an interest in Martial Arts/self defense right now. That said, many kids aren't that excited about math either, but we still make them take it, because it's good to know.

What thoughts do you guys have on all this?
I like the idea of my daughters being safe.

My 5 year old is currently learning TKD. It is teaching her discipline, following the instructor's instructions, Patience, public speaking, getting her involved in a group activity and getting her fit.

From what I have seen of TKD I don't really see it as effective self defense though. but it is serving its purpose for now. When she gets a bit older I will try to convince her to take up Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and/or a practical self defense course.

Of course the best self defense is use of the brain. Girls, don't walk alone at night in secluded areas. Especially be careful of boyfriends, male acquaintances etc as most rapes are familiars. Be careful when accepting drinks from strangers.
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15-05-2014, 04:11 PM (This post was last modified: 15-05-2014 04:16 PM by Bows and Arrows.)
RE: Should I *make* my daughters take MMA/self-defense?
My girls loved it. They took it in lower elementary grades. Then they got burned out so we quit, after a few months off they wanted to do it again--but now they have to wait.

Its going to depend on the teacher. If the teacher makes it fun- it will be an easy choice. If he isn't skilled in teaching girls- (yes-I think when it comes to skills training girls respond differently to instruction & coaching then boys). Then I would find someone who is---it might not be the instructor you enjoy.

I think it can really empower and build confidence in girls. When you are physically strong and capable it makes it easier to take risks in other areas to find success.


edited to add: the class I had my kids in was a mix of different styles. they played lots of games, lots of fitness (push-ups, burpee's, bag work, and kicks). They also added in moves to break away from someone. They didn't shy away from talking about dangerous situations, bullying, etc. The owner taught a wide mix from Krav Maga to Ju Jit su, karate, MMA.


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15-05-2014, 04:21 PM
RE: Should I *make* my daughters take MMA/self-defense?
most places will usually let your kids do 1-3 classes for free to decide.


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15-05-2014, 04:53 PM
RE: Should I *make* my daughters take MMA/self-defense?
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15-05-2014, 04:59 PM
RE: Should I *make* my daughters take MMA/self-defense?
(15-05-2014 03:54 PM)Charis Wrote:  Well I have 2 young daughters. The oldest is at the age when starting martial arts is a good thing.

May I ask, how old exactly they are? If I recall correctly, the youngest group in my TKD club was 6-8 yrs old, and from what I saw, the training wasn't exactly focused on TKD stuff for the youngest groups. It was more like playing physically challenging games with the occasional formal stuff as a side note. In that regard, it probably doesn't matter all that much in what sports they engage in whilst they're not in their teens and begin to have the body suitable for martial arts. And much depends on how good or bad the teachers are, which you probably know by now. Shy

In any case, I'd definitely recommend martial arts training once they're old enough, it's an excellent boost to their self-confidence which in and of itself is a tremendous aid in avoiding trouble in the first place.

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15-05-2014, 06:00 PM (This post was last modified: 15-05-2014 06:04 PM by Charis.)
RE: Should I *make* my daughters take MMA/self-defense?
My oldest is 6. She's mostly not wanting to, because of her confidence level. She says it looks too difficult and she doesn't really think she has the ability to learn it.

She'll be visiting this summer. Otherwise, she's in a fundy environment where her confidence will be shattered.

Long story.

She's extremely intelligent, and becomes frustrated/discouraged easily.
I'm pretty sure she would benefit greatly from it.

And PFT.... your point is blissfully noted.

A person very dear to me was badly hurt through a misunderstanding and miscommunication. For this, I am sorry, and he knows it. That said, any blaming me for malicious intent is for the birds. I will not wear some scarlet letter, I will not be anybody's whipping girl, and I will not lurk in silence.
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15-05-2014, 06:11 PM
RE: Should I *make* my daughters take MMA/self-defense?
(15-05-2014 06:00 PM)Charis Wrote:  My oldest is 6. She's mostly not wanting to, because of her confidence level. She says it looks too difficult and she doesn't really think she has the ability to learn it.

She'll be visiting this summer. Otherwise, she's in a fundy environment where her confidence will be shattered.

Long story.

She's extremely intelligent, and becomes frustrated/discouraged easily.
I'm pretty sure she would benefit greatly from it.

If you've seen other kids' training sessions and consider the teacher(s) good enough (= not sadistic weirdos), then I see no reason why you shouldn't encourage her to take classes during the summer. Who knows, maybe she'll even fall in love with MMA. For what it's worth, you have my blessing Bowing

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