Should I *make* my daughters take MMA/self-defense?
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15-05-2014, 06:20 PM
RE: Should I *make* my daughters take MMA/self-defense?
Couldn't hurt to expose them to at least a class or 2 Shy
but if they let you know they don't like it, don't force them to keep on after that.

Besides, once you've learned enough, you could be their instructor Smile Maybe not on specific techniques (I remember you said that's a no-no), but just basics on defending themselves. You'd better know their likes and dislikes to better disguise the "lessons" you have for them so they don't feel like lessons!

If I had daughters I'd feel better knowing they could defend themselves if they had to Shy

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15-05-2014, 06:30 PM
RE: Should I *make* my daughters take MMA/self-defense?
(15-05-2014 06:20 PM)TheGulegon Wrote:  You'd better know their likes and dislikes to better disguise the "lessons" you have for them so they don't feel like lessons!




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15-05-2014, 06:35 PM
RE: Should I *make* my daughters take MMA/self-defense?
(15-05-2014 03:54 PM)Charis Wrote:  I've been wondering about this. Many of you have an idea of some of my history.

Well I have 2 young daughters. The oldest is at the age when starting martial arts is a good thing.
My instructor doesn't teach ONLY Tae Kwon Do, but also other arts and practical self-defense.

The following is from another thread:
(15-05-2014 03:41 PM)Mathilda Wrote:  There seems a tad too much rape on all discussion forums and social media. It's like an easy way to bully people by exploiting a conditioned fear.

Imagine a couple that have a son and daughter. They both grow to be teenagers and start to wonder off outside of the house at night with their friends without the parents there to look after them. The girl is physically weaker than the son and because rapists exist the parents worry more about the daughter's safety. They assume the son can look after himself, or at the very least will have the urge to fight back because he has testosterone.

The parents start to feel a lack of control and the most they can do to compensate is to press upon the daughter the need to be careful. This may make sound sense but the unintended consequence is that it also conditions the daughter to be more afraid of men. And this inadvertently makes them more likely to be victims. Rapists are bullies and bullies being cowards themselves will prefer victims that are too afraid to fight back. The irony is that men are more likely to be a victim of violence from other men because they are seen as more of a threat.

If I was a parent I would teach both the son and the daughter that they can defend themselves if they know how regardless of the relative size, strength and shape of their attacker. I would try to empower them both rather than make them fearful. That alone will make them less likely to be a victim. In reality no one, whether male or female, ever knows how to deal with violence from others unless they have already previously been exposed to it. Having confidence in certain skills to defend yourself can make your first exposure to violence less of a shock though.

The rape culture that's prevalent on social media is a form of bullying that exploits this conditioned fear instilled into women and girls by worried parents. Bullies will use any weakness that they can. Threatening rape on social media, which thankfully doesn't happen here, is an easy way for immature and inadequate young boys to immediately gain power over other people to compensate for the lack of agency they have in their own lives.

Now my little daughter doesn't have much of an interest in Martial Arts/self defense right now. That said, many kids aren't that excited about math either, but we still make them take it, because it's good to know.

What thoughts do you guys have on all this?

Can you make it a family activity? You and the girls. That might help...I actually studied martial arts with my son for a short time after watching his classes. Figured if I was going to be there anyway I might as well. Are there any short sessions in the summer just to get a taste for it?

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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15-05-2014, 07:03 PM
RE: Should I *make* my daughters take MMA/self-defense?
Yeah, I'm going to try to get her into it this summer if possible. Pretty sure she won't be continuing it while with her father, even if she wanted to.

I asked her about her reading, and her gave me this glassy-eyed look and said how she'll soon be able to read her big bible instead of her little one. I got chills.
Just to give you an idea... while still married to their father, he would go through the house preaching loudly, and sometimes even preach to me while I was in the shower. He reads the bible while on the toilet, takes it with him to work... I am not kidding.

A person very dear to me was badly hurt through a misunderstanding and miscommunication. For this, I am sorry, and he knows it. That said, any blaming me for malicious intent is for the birds. I will not wear some scarlet letter, I will not be anybody's whipping girl, and I will not lurk in silence.
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15-05-2014, 07:18 PM
RE: Should I *make* my daughters take MMA/self-defense?
(15-05-2014 07:03 PM)Charis Wrote:  Yeah, I'm going to try to get her into it this summer if possible. Pretty sure she won't be continuing it while with her father, even if she wanted to.

I asked her about her reading, and her gave me this glassy-eyed look and said how she'll soon be able to read her big bible instead of her little one. I got chills.
Just to give you an idea... while still married to their father, he would go through the house preaching loudly, and sometimes even preach to me while I was in the shower. He reads the bible while on the toilet, takes it with him to work... I am not kidding.
So serious!
Mustn't be much fun time at home.

Kids need fun, families need fun. Sheesh, how do people live like that?!
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15-05-2014, 07:20 PM
RE: Should I *make* my daughters take MMA/self-defense?
(15-05-2014 07:18 PM)Stevil Wrote:  
(15-05-2014 07:03 PM)Charis Wrote:  Yeah, I'm going to try to get her into it this summer if possible. Pretty sure she won't be continuing it while with her father, even if she wanted to.

I asked her about her reading, and her gave me this glassy-eyed look and said how she'll soon be able to read her big bible instead of her little one. I got chills.
Just to give you an idea... while still married to their father, he would go through the house preaching loudly, and sometimes even preach to me while I was in the shower. He reads the bible while on the toilet, takes it with him to work... I am not kidding.
So serious!
Mustn't be much fun time at home.

Kids need fun, families need fun. Sheesh, how do people live like that?!
I don't think you realize the gravity of the question you just asked.
The scar on my arm can testify how hard it can be to live like that.

A person very dear to me was badly hurt through a misunderstanding and miscommunication. For this, I am sorry, and he knows it. That said, any blaming me for malicious intent is for the birds. I will not wear some scarlet letter, I will not be anybody's whipping girl, and I will not lurk in silence.
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15-05-2014, 07:53 PM
RE: Should I *make* my daughters take MMA/self-defense?
(15-05-2014 07:20 PM)Charis Wrote:  I don't think you realize the gravity of the question you just asked.
The scar on my arm can testify how hard it can be to live like that.
I am happy you have broken free. Happy that you have removed yourself from a situation that caused you to think death is preferable.

But I understand your kids are still tied to this man and this lifestyle and thus you and them are still in this nightmare.

I'd love to give you words of encouragement or consolation, but quite frankly I don't know what to say.
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15-05-2014, 08:16 PM
RE: Should I *make* my daughters take MMA/self-defense?
(15-05-2014 07:53 PM)Stevil Wrote:  
(15-05-2014 07:20 PM)Charis Wrote:  I don't think you realize the gravity of the question you just asked.
The scar on my arm can testify how hard it can be to live like that.
I am happy you have broken free. Happy that you have removed yourself from a situation that caused you to think death is preferable.

But I understand your kids are still tied to this man and this lifestyle and thus you and them are still in this nightmare.

I'd love to give you words of encouragement or consolation, but quite frankly I don't know what to say.

It's ok. Thank you. Sometimes I just need hugs instead.

A person very dear to me was badly hurt through a misunderstanding and miscommunication. For this, I am sorry, and he knows it. That said, any blaming me for malicious intent is for the birds. I will not wear some scarlet letter, I will not be anybody's whipping girl, and I will not lurk in silence.
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15-05-2014, 08:28 PM
RE: Should I *make* my daughters take MMA/self-defense?
Hug

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