Should I say something?
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12-06-2015, 04:51 AM
Should I say something?
My wonderful Catholic cousin posted this on Facebook today:

"I'm sick and i'm tired...oh so very tired of this junk and garbage...It is NOT a sign of Diversity or Equality when men sleep with men or women sleep with women. It is perverse...there I said it. It goes against nature and the Divine Law of God, Who created Man IN HIS IMAGE. Just because we have "progressed" in the understanding of science and psychology does not void that fact! And what has this "Progress" done? One could say it has improved our wellness and health. One can say it has improved relations among nations and peoples. One can say many positives about "Progress" without a doubt; however, another can and should say, look at our Nation. Is 50% divorce rate "Progress"? Is millions of its inhabitants being murdered in the womb "Progress"? Is boys wanting to join the GIRL Scouts "Progress"? Is sex between a man and a man "Progress"? This has become a perverse nation, a nation bent on "Progress" but has no idea where that "Progress" is leading. I say instead of being a nation of "Progress" we be a nation of Virtue! A mirror of that Virtue shown hanging from the Cross. Our Lord Jesus Christ will be our guide on this straight and narrow path. He will be our Light among this Nation which will ignite the world! May all of you Holy Men & Women, pray for us. Holy Mary Mother of God, pray for us. Christ Jesus King of the Universe, pray for us! God bless you all & pax tecum!"

I don't think I even need to say that HE is the one that makes ME sick. But what upset me the most is that my mom replied saying "Amen! Not progress, but a choice!" Now, this would make sense because my mom is a fundamentalist Christian (though she despises Catholicism, ironically). But what really upset me is that my sister came out as lesbian a few years ago, and I know she's going to see this comment. It hurts me as well, because I know she says she loves my sister (and me, who went and had a child out of wedlock, what a heathen) but I feel like she's faking it when she's nice to us or says she cares about us.

I really want to reply to both of their ridiculous statements, but I'm not sure if I should. And if I should, what should I say? I just don't know if it's worth even saying something, or if I should just block both of them on Facebook because I don't need that. I just wish they could see how much they are hurting people by their comments. So much for that Christian love...

What would you do?
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12-06-2015, 05:00 AM
RE: Should I say something?
(12-06-2015 04:51 AM)EditingBeauty Wrote:  My wonderful Catholic cousin posted this on Facebook today:

"I'm sick and i'm tired...oh so very tired of this junk and garbage...It is NOT a sign of Diversity or Equality when men sleep with men or women sleep with women. It is perverse...there I said it. It goes against nature and the Divine Law of God, Who created Man IN HIS IMAGE. Just because we have "progressed" in the understanding of science and psychology does not void that fact! And what has this "Progress" done? One could say it has improved our wellness and health. One can say it has improved relations among nations and peoples. One can say many positives about "Progress" without a doubt; however, another can and should say, look at our Nation. Is 50% divorce rate "Progress"? Is millions of its inhabitants being murdered in the womb "Progress"? Is boys wanting to join the GIRL Scouts "Progress"? Is sex between a man and a man "Progress"? This has become a perverse nation, a nation bent on "Progress" but has no idea where that "Progress" is leading. I say instead of being a nation of "Progress" we be a nation of Virtue! A mirror of that Virtue shown hanging from the Cross. Our Lord Jesus Christ will be our guide on this straight and narrow path. He will be our Light among this Nation which will ignite the world! May all of you Holy Men & Women, pray for us. Holy Mary Mother of God, pray for us. Christ Jesus King of the Universe, pray for us! God bless you all & pax tecum!"

I don't think I even need to say that HE is the one that makes ME sick. But what upset me the most is that my mom replied saying "Amen! Not progress, but a choice!" Now, this would make sense because my mom is a fundamentalist Christian (though she despises Catholicism, ironically). But what really upset me is that my sister came out as lesbian a few years ago, and I know she's going to see this comment. It hurts me as well, because I know she says she loves my sister (and me, who went and had a child out of wedlock, what a heathen) but I feel like she's faking it when she's nice to us or says she cares about us.

I really want to reply to both of their ridiculous statements, but I'm not sure if I should. And if I should, what should I say? I just don't know if it's worth even saying something, or if I should just block both of them on Facebook because I don't need that. I just wish they could see how much they are hurting people by their comments. So much for that Christian love...

What would you do?

I would reply his post with this:



[Image: 20cad83ad8d757191e2878b0f4bf05a9.png]
"Don't answer that. A rhetorical question."
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12-06-2015, 05:08 AM
RE: Should I say something?
If I was in this situation, I would unfriend the awful cousin and send a private message to your mom telling her that you found her response personally disgusting and degrading to your sister. My father is also a fundamentalist, and with him, I have had to draw some very firm lines about topics of conversation. I tell him I'm not trying to change his views, but I'm not going to listen to them or inflict them on my family of choice (husband and son), either. This makes my father upset, but not as upset as never seeing his grandkid, so he abides by it, mostly.
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12-06-2015, 05:41 AM
RE: Should I say something?
In my experience ------

The people ranting the loudest against homosexuality have a higher than normal probability of being a closet case themselves.

....
My advice -- if possible (and you can afford it) -- hire a detective to keep an eye on this guy for a while.... You might be absolutely amazed at what turns up.

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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12-06-2015, 05:42 AM
RE: Should I say something?
I'm just going to grab this opportunity to say (because we've had quite a few new joiners recently) that this is the right section for discussion of the 'if' question.

The 'what' question is for the Atheism/Theism section.

Cheers


And btw, 'what' to say, to that display of ignorance and bigotry, would probably run to a few pages. There are many here who could do a line by line deconstruction of his post.

You can choose your friends etc...

Dodgy

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12-06-2015, 05:49 AM
RE: Should I say something?
I have no idea how to approach this. Hurtful comments from those we love cut the deepest.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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12-06-2015, 06:08 AM (This post was last modified: 12-06-2015 06:26 AM by Bows and Arrows.)
RE: Should I say something?
sometimes families suck.

I would unfriend and block the cousin-online and in real life. Life is too short to waste on people we really cant stand. Just because they are family doesnt mean they can continually enter your life and make you miserable.

As for mom, call her out privately. If you do it publicly you give fuel to the hate filled cousin. Since its your Mom this conversation should be just between the two of you and your sister. If you must say something keep it along the lines of " thanks for clarifying your position". Take a screen shot. I find people who do this shit also like to lie when called out on it. Maybe your Mom won't, but cover your ass.

Then you have to decide how far you are willing to push things with your mom.

are you willing to disassociate with her? just want to scold her? argue with her? talk it out? where this goes is up to you.

I don't think you will ever change her mind, or her position, but you might have some influence to change her behavior. But that means following thru and being accountable. Her feeling that way and spewing it places where she knows it will be hurtful to you and your sis are two different things. We all have the ability to bite our tongues because we know loved ones might be hurt by our words. It varies in degree with each relationship, but its a choice to fan flames or walk away. Give her boundaries of what is acceptable and what isnt.

if you don't like her answers, walk away. Limit your time and exposure to her. Again, life is too short. Toxic people are toxic.

Support and grow the relationship with your sister. You have a common problem- your other family members. You can deal with them easier if you two are united in your tolerance and stance.

You choose how people treat you by the actions you put up with.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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12-06-2015, 06:15 AM
RE: Should I say something?
I probably wouldn't say anything publicly. No amount of Facebook arguing back and forth is going to change their opinions.

*If* you decide to say something, do it in private, whether in person, PM, or phone. You don't have to say much. Just something simple. Such as, "I was taught to love others, I wish you could see how much pain your hatred causes. Do you even care how this would hurt [your sister]?"

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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12-06-2015, 07:01 AM
RE: Should I say something?
So she only want gay sex to be for the priests then. . . gay sex with children even. Well that's a thing I guess.
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12-06-2015, 10:45 AM (This post was last modified: 12-06-2015 10:50 AM by The Organic Chemist.)
RE: Should I say something?
(12-06-2015 04:51 AM)EditingBeauty Wrote:  My wonderful Catholic cousin posted this on Facebook today:

This statement seems unfounded after you read what they wrote.

Three things:
1) Are you a non-believer?
2) do they know this?
3) was this on your wall or theirs?

If yes to all of these questions is yes, then go after them with whatever vitriol you can muster. {Edit: I see what Nurse said and to a certain extent I agree. However, bear in mind that you may not be making any headway with them but perhaps with someone else. Paraphrasing Hitchens, no debate he did was aimed at convincing the opponent, it was more for the audience} This kind of thought needs to be addressed and it can't be stamped out of existence fast enough.

If it is yes to the first two but not the third, I would leave a polite message saying that you see their point but disagree and see where the conversation goes.


If it is no to all or even only a yes to the third, play it safe and use your judgement.

(12-06-2015 04:51 AM)EditingBeauty Wrote:  It hurts me as well, because I know she says she loves my sister (and me, who went and had a child out of wedlock, what a heathen) but I feel like she's faking it when she's nice to us or says she cares about us.

If this is indeed true, then you have already lost her. As a parent of three, I can't imagine how someone can do this to their child. Hug

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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