Should I tell my Mother I am Agnostic?
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12-08-2016, 10:27 PM
RE: Should I tell my Mother I am Agnostic?
you could try voicing your opinions on topics -see how that goes over- before dropping the news on her.

I think there are a hundred ways to talk about your feelings without outing yourself until you have planted some seeds and got an assessment of the situation.

She asks you to pray before a meal, do it, then ask her if God has a plan why do we ask him to change it?

when you have enough of these type of conversations you have already shown her you have doubts, when you finally reveal, it's not that far of a jump. it's the logical conclusion to all of your questions over the past weeks, months.

I have found big announcements rarely go well, even when it's good news.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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13-08-2016, 12:05 PM
RE: Should I tell my Mother I am Agnostic?
(12-08-2016 09:58 PM)RogueWarrior Wrote:  
(12-08-2016 07:29 PM)BlackWolf Wrote:  
I am normally not one to post my problems online however this is just upsetting me deeply. To make things short my mom is a Christian, I however have recently become Agnostic, leaning to Atheist due to many facts of the world, and my mom does not know I am. I love my mom, and I never wish to change her beliefs as I respect hers, however, I feel if I tell her that I am Agnostic/Atheist she would be upset, disappointed or even worried. I do not want to pull that on her as she has always been there for me while my dad was...well he is just an asshole to put it blunt but he lives in another state. I have no one really to talk to as I only have two friends, one who is a Christian and the other, well, I am not completely sure.

I just do not know what I should do...
First: Welcome!

Sigh. (Please don't take this the wrong way.)
but you are yet another person who thinks agnosticism is a middle ground between atheism and theism. It isn't. Period.
Agnosticism/Gnosticism and Atheism/Theism are apples and oranges.
It is also important to note Atheism and Religion are not mutually exclusive.
You can be a religious atheist, although christians just can't wrap their minds around that concept.

If you tell you mother you are an agnostic, you have not told her whether you believe the theistic claim or not. You have told her you don't know which answer is correct.
Most of us atheists are in that category, we don't know either.
We are atheists because the evidence presented by theists (like your mother) is not good enough to believe anymore.
Whether a theist believes in shiva or thor or zeus or zoroaster or allah or yahweh or jehovah or (insert god claim here). Their evidence is just not good enough.

Most of us were theists at some point. And I would say that most of us on this board were christians too. We don't hate, as a rule, christians or any theist. There was even a christian moderator here but he is just a regular poster now.
Most people are generally good people regardless of their stance on the theistic claim.

No need to rush into anything with your mother. Just be yourself. Once you are comfortable with yourself, you can tell your mother. De-converting is not easy.
Who knew that 4(5?) little words can cause so much trouble?

"I don't believe you".

Enjoy your say here. There is a lot of information located in stickies throughout the forums.

I wasn't going to get into the finer points of the whole Atheist-Agnostic distinction. It only realy annoys when we get the rare holier than thou agnostic. Otherwise I could care less how people self-identify.

Honestly, he'd probably be best to avoid labels with his mother. Agnostic is a very short step above Atheist, which is an even shorter step above Satanist to many theists. Simpler to go with "I don't believe" and leave off the labels.

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13-08-2016, 12:19 PM
RE: Should I tell my Mother I am Agnostic?
(12-08-2016 07:29 PM)BlackWolf Wrote:  
I am normally not one to post my problems online however this is just upsetting me deeply. To make things short my mom is a Christian, I however have recently become Agnostic, leaning to Atheist due to many facts of the world, and my mom does not know I am. I love my mom, and I never wish to change her beliefs as I respect hers, however, I feel if I tell her that I am Agnostic/Atheist she would be upset, disappointed or even worried. I do not want to pull that on her as she has always been there for me while my dad was...well he is just an asshole to put it blunt but he lives in another state. I have no one really to talk to as I only have two friends, one who is a Christian and the other, well, I am not completely sure.

I just do not know what I should do...
Is it necessary to tell her?
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25-08-2016, 06:37 AM
RE: Should I tell my Mother I am Agnostic?
(12-08-2016 09:58 PM)RogueWarrior Wrote:  Most of us atheists are in that category, we don't know either.

For BlackWolf's consideration... I for one—as a lifelong atheist—do know that there are no supernatural entities in the real world. To say that "most" atheists "don't know" is simply erroneous in my opinion.

Quote:You can be a religious atheist...

Could you please clarify what you mean by this? It confuses me as I haven't heard the term before (although I understand "Christian atheism"). Thanks.

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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25-08-2016, 07:20 AM
RE: Should I tell my Mother I am Agnostic?
I dunno. Angel

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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25-08-2016, 10:02 AM
RE: Should I tell my Mother I am Agnostic?
(25-08-2016 06:37 AM)SYZ Wrote:  
(12-08-2016 09:58 PM)RogueWarrior Wrote:  You can be a religious atheist...

Could you please clarify what you mean by this? It confuses me as I haven't heard the term before (although I understand "Christian atheism"). Thanks.

Like UFO religions, Raelism, Scientology probably too. Where people believe things like life was started on Earth by powerful aliens (powerful but physical beings, technically not supernatural)

The Melanesian "cargo cult" may also fit, as they believe in spirits and stuff, but not a god-like figure(s) as far as I know.

A friend in the hole

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25-08-2016, 10:23 AM
RE: Should I tell my Mother I am Agnostic?
(25-08-2016 10:02 AM)unsapien Wrote:  
(25-08-2016 06:37 AM)SYZ Wrote:  Could you please clarify what you mean by this? It confuses me as I haven't heard the term before (although I understand "Christian atheism"). Thanks.

Like UFO religions, Raelism, Scientology probably too. Where people believe things like life was started on Earth by powerful aliens (powerful but physical beings, technically not supernatural)

Yabut, similarly unevidenced beliefs.

Quote:The Melanesian "cargo cult" may also fit, as they believe in spirits and stuff, but not a god-like figure(s) as far as I know.

John Frum.

And there is one that worships Prince Philip.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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25-08-2016, 10:40 AM
RE: Should I tell my Mother I am Agnostic?
The best bit of advice is. If asked, answer honestly. You don't need to sit her down and lay down the law. Go about your day as you would any other. If you have to test the waters bring up some sort of religious issue and mention atheism in it. The resent agenda that Seth just posted on his podcast. About the charity group that denied the athiest groups money. See what she thinks about that. You may hear something you didn't expect from here. Be it good or bad.

Don't Live each day like it's your last. Live each day like you have 541 days after that one where every choice you make will have lasting implications to you and the world around you. ~ Tim Minchin
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26-08-2016, 05:40 AM
RE: Should I tell my Mother I am Agnostic?
(25-08-2016 06:37 AM)SYZ Wrote:  Could you please clarify what you mean by this? It confuses me as I haven't heard the term before (although I understand "Christian atheism"). Thanks.

Buddhists and Taoists are atheists who have religion but no gods (though both are rooted in older religions--Hinduism and ancient Chinese mysticism, respectively--and some of the sects have retained deities in their belief structure).

There are also those who no longer believe gods are real but go through the ritualistic motions for reasons of habit, family, or social conformity... or sometimes fear of being wrong.

"Theology made no provision for evolution. The biblical authors had missed the most important revelation of all! Could it be that they were not really privy to the thoughts of God?" - E. O. Wilson
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