Should I tell my grandparents?
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25-09-2013, 09:40 PM
RE: Should I tell my grandparents?
(25-09-2013 09:31 PM)EventHorizon Wrote:  
(25-09-2013 09:25 PM)Chopdoc Wrote:  Hey Event, I have a similar situation with my folks and brother. Although they know I don't attend church, we have reached an uneasy agreement to not discuss my beliefs openly. My brother and I agree to disagree, more or less and I don't really care what he thinks (he and his wife and passel o' kids are fundies).
My parents are another matter. I love them both very much and admire them as honorable people. They are reaching the end of their lives and I see no reason to hurt them by telling them how I feel about religion. It would serve no purpose. When I see them I bow my head at meals for their prayers out of respect for them. I don't see this as a cop out. What would be the point of taking exception to a practice that has been in my family all my life.
I guess you have to ask yourself what good would it do to bring up the issue at all with your grandparents, particularly if they don't specifically ask you about it. Even if they ask you pointedly, I would be as evasive as honestly possible. Again, what purpose would it serve? It would hurt them--and for what? I try to live and let live, and try not to intentionally harm others, especially people I love and respect.
Anyway, that's my 2 cents' worth. Hope it helps. Take care.
Chopdoc

Thank you for sharing your experience. This is almost exactly my situation and you have handled it in almost the same way I have so far all the way down to bowing my head when having meals with the family. This really helps thank you.
Glad to help. As for those other bigoted bastards out there, don't let 'em wear you down...
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25-09-2013, 10:32 PM
RE: Should I tell my grandparents?
My granny was a VERY devout conservative Catholic.
BUT, she actually married a guy who managed their whole lives NOT to make an issue of his un-belief. (He was good looking and rich Dodgy ). When she would say something like "If one more of my grandchildren marries a non-Catholic, I just don't know what I will do", I would just change the subject. Of course I was her little pet, and she kept asking my parents if I could move up and live live with her and gramps. My mother had to keep telling her "No, Bucky is not going to move up there. He likes his school down here". I am very very glad I never hurt her by telling her I did not share her faith. There is no point in hurting people unnecessarily. The world has changed, in ways we can't even really understand UNLESS you were a part of their generation. Two generations ago, Madelyn Murray O'Hare, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madalyn_Murray_O%27Hair
was the "spawn of Satan" to them. Today unbelief, is a "yeah so ... big deal" to many people. I say no. Don't hurt them. There is no point. You could say "Well, life is going to be interesting ... there are so many things to investigate, and discover, and thanks to the genes you and gramps gave me, my brain can deal with whatever I will discover". If you hurt them unnecessarily, you might regret it. I say, "What's the point ?" I'm sure people will disagree. I never will regret not hurting her. If I had, I would regret it.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein
Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music - Friedrich Nietzsche
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25-09-2013, 11:07 PM
RE: Should I tell my grandparents?
(25-09-2013 10:32 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  My granny was a VERY devout conservative Catholic.
BUT, she actually married a guy who managed their whole lives NOT to make an issue of his un-belief. (He was good looking and rich Dodgy ). When she would say something like "If one more of my grandchildren marries a non-Catholic, I just don't know what I will do", I would just change the subject. Of course I was her little pet, and she kept asking my parents if I could move up and live live with her and gramps. My mother had to keep telling her "No, Bucky is not going to move up there. He likes his school down here". I am very very glad I never hurt her by telling her I did not share her faith. There is no point in hurting people unnecessarily. The world has changed, in ways we can't even really understand UNLESS you were a part of their generation. Two generations ago, Madelyn Murray O'Hare, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madalyn_Murray_O%27Hair
was the "spawn of Satan" to them. Today unbelief, is a "yeah so ... big deal" to many people. I say no. Don't hurt them. There is no point. You could say "Well, life is going to be interesting ... there are so many things to investigate, and discover, and thanks to the genes you and gramps gave me, my brain can deal with whatever I will discover". If you hurt them unnecessarily, you might regret it. I say, "What's the point ?" I'm sure people will disagree. I never will regret not hurting her. If I had, I would regret it.
When I was a kid, Madalyn was portrayed (in my church) as an evil person and no one would tell me why. It wasn't until much later that I found out how brave she was, especially for her time. And, thankfully, there's no compulsory prayer in public schools, though some fundies are still trying to bring it back. Now it's ID vs that evil evolution that's the hot button topic.
Chop Cool
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26-09-2013, 03:47 AM
RE: Should I tell my grandparents?
Personally, I wouldn't tell them. I think them knowing would hurt them worse than not knowing.


oh, and I was raised Church of Christ also.
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