Shutting up preachers
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01-07-2017, 09:40 PM (This post was last modified: 01-07-2017 09:44 PM by outtathereligioncloset.)
RE: Shutting up preachers
I suspect that around here most preachers would respond that they will pray for you.

I have no answer, BUT I can offer an answer to a question you didn't ask. When door-to-door religion peddlers come here and eventually get around to asking me for a donation for the pamphlets they shoved at me unasked-for, I tell them I will contribute an equal amount to their church as whatever they are willing to donate to mine. That will usually get them to skulk away.

Once several years ago one even responded to that by asking me the name of my church. And thus, "The Church of the Rising Penis" was born. All are welcome. Feel free to kneel or all rise as the spirit moves you. Pretty sure THAT particular church put me on their blacklist cause they have never graced my door again and they had been REALLY pesky before that.

When my husband was a young man and the Seventh Day Adventists kept showing up at an ungodly hour at his front door every Saturday morning and he told them several times (in his hungover voice) to leave him alone and stop banging at his door he finally answered the door naked. Or as we say here in the south "nekkid." They too finally stopped bothering him.

Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?
"Life is not all lovely thorns and singing vultures, you know." ~ Morticia Addams
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02-07-2017, 01:36 AM
RE: Shutting up preachers
Ask them to discuss merits of Zoroastrianism and start long winded tirade about it. Have a feeling that they leave you alone Wink

Or just say that you have no time for their childish shit.

The first revolt is against the supreme tyranny of theology, of the phantom of God. As long as we have a master in heaven, we will be slaves on earth.

Mikhail Bakunin.
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02-07-2017, 02:35 AM
RE: Shutting up preachers
(01-07-2017 08:50 PM)Robvalue Wrote:  I had an idea for getting (Christian) religious preachers to leave you alone. This could be on the street, on a forum, or some family members who hassle you constantly. I don't know how well it would work, but I thought it might be worth a try:

Say, "Fuck the Holy Spirit", or words to that effect. I'll say it right now. Fuck the Holy Spirit...

Nope, won't work as you'd hope. It'll just make them try all the harder to convert you, and to convince you that it's not too late for their god to forgive you—even as a blasphemer. They'll see it as an irresistible challenge in order to earn brownie points with their local kiddie-fiddler next Sunday.

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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02-07-2017, 03:07 AM
RE: Shutting up preachers
Hmm, I see. That's a shame.

Are there any Christians who actually believe what their own fucking book says?

I have a website here which discusses the issues and terminology surrounding religion and atheism. It's hopefully user friendly to all.
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02-07-2017, 03:12 AM
RE: Shutting up preachers
(02-07-2017 03:07 AM)Robvalue Wrote:  Hmm, I see. That's a shame.

Are there any Christians who actually believe what their own fucking book says?

I doubt that you will find even one who would believe all that tripe. Mostly I think christians believe in what can be used to bash others and allows them to be authoritarian jerks while hiding behind facade of righteousness.

The first revolt is against the supreme tyranny of theology, of the phantom of God. As long as we have a master in heaven, we will be slaves on earth.

Mikhail Bakunin.
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02-07-2017, 04:31 AM
RE: Shutting up preachers
(02-07-2017 03:07 AM)Robvalue Wrote:  Are there any Christians who actually believe what their own fucking book says?

Most believe some bits while rationalizing the rest.

It's my opinion that fundamentalists come closest to being real Christians, since they take so much of what the Bible says seriously. So I guess we should thank goodness for all the rationalizers.
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02-07-2017, 04:54 AM
RE: Shutting up preachers
(01-07-2017 08:50 PM)Robvalue Wrote:  I had an idea for getting (Christian) religious preachers to leave you alone. This could be on the street, on a forum, or some family members who hassle you constantly.

Have you tried just whipping out your dick? Consider

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02-07-2017, 04:56 AM
RE: Shutting up preachers
(02-07-2017 04:31 AM)Thoreauvian Wrote:  
(02-07-2017 03:07 AM)Robvalue Wrote:  Are there any Christians who actually believe what their own fucking book says?

Most believe some bits while rationalizing the rest.

It's my opinion that fundamentalists come closest to being real Christians, since they take so much of what the Bible says seriously. So I guess we should thank goodness for all the rationalizers.

That's a double edged sword. It's the moderates that give the crazies the patina of undeserved legitimacy.

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02-07-2017, 05:10 AM
RE: Shutting up preachers
(01-07-2017 09:40 PM)outtathereligioncloset Wrote:  Once several years ago one even responded to that by asking me the name of my church. And thus, "The Church of the Rising Penis" was born. All are welcome. Feel free to kneel or all rise as the spirit moves you.

Wow, OMG outtathereligioncloset. Awesome chit!
I believe I have been a member (no childish pun intended) of "The Church of the Rising Penis" nearly all my life!
Where: "This one good deed, deserves another" is pounded into our heads and under the sheets.
Sadly though, most all my contributions to the church's have fallen on barren accounts.

...so Robvalue,
No seriously, I was taught "ONCE SAVED, ALWAYS SAVED!"
bitch.

Not even my sorry and creative ass can commit a sin badd enough to cause ole Jee-buss to climb back up on dat horrid cross thingy.
His gift & sacrifice is fuc'n eternal folks! Don't you pay attention?? Dis promise thing is from the GOD man.

So, "Leave me the fuc alone" is how I respond now.

You have to be odd to be #1.
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02-07-2017, 06:03 AM
RE: Shutting up preachers
Always keep a capsule of fake blood in your mouth for just such an occasion.

Don't let those gnomes and their illusions get you down. They're just gnomes and illusions.

--Jake the Dog, Adventure Time

Alouette, je te plumerai.
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