Sick of the Double Standard
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
15-12-2014, 03:58 PM (This post was last modified: 15-12-2014 04:05 PM by Mr. Boston.)
Sick of the Double Standard
My son came home from a "cookie day" at my mother's house yesterday. He and his cousin spent the day with Grammie making sugar cookies. Great, sounds like an excellent bonding experience, just good clean fun. I was enjoying one of the cookies on my lunch break today and lo and behold my mother's on Facebook telling the world how the two boys (age 4 and 3) told her all about the Baby Jesus and Mary after watching The Little Drummer Boy while the cookies were baking.

I'm so sick of the double standard. What exactly is it we're supposed to do to escape the infiltration of all this theist bullshit? Granted, it's Christmas time, they went over to my mother's house (she's a retired pastor) to make Christmas Tree cookies, etc. But I don't understand why Christmas for a 3-year-old needs to be anything more than Santa and presents.

I don't expect him to be completely shielded from religion or religious people. I'm just sick of the arrogance of theists; like learning about God is the RIGHT of a 3-year-old and I can't keep the "truth" from him. I'm sick of this idea that in the spirit of "acceptance" and "open-mindedness," on MY part I should just be okay with people filling his head with any kind of bullshit they please as soon as I'm not around to try and provide context or a different point of view. I notice these conversations never happen when I'm there with him.

Can you imagine the fallout if I hosted a cookie-day at my place and had all my son's little school friends over and we watched Cosmos and made rocket ship cookies and I posted on Facebook about how I'd told the kids all about the Big Bang and how the universe has absolutely no requirement for a supernatural realm? And then when the parents started calling I'd just innocently say something like, "Well, I'm just making the FACTS available for the kids." I'd probably get sued.

Anyway, this hints at bigger problems between my mother and I than I really need to get into here; I just thought I had made it abundantly clear we were raising Ben in a secular home and I thought my wishes were being respected. I'm just tired of this expectation that I'm the one who should lighten up or give-in. My brother is also atheist but his wife's a recovering Catholic and they're raising their kids with no specific faith but with the concept of God and certain practices, like saying grace, etc. I just shudder to think about my son being the odd man out, being pressured into the whole Jesus thing by custom. I'm just tired of being made to feel like I'm the asshole if I object to the subtle conditioning that ends up with a kid believing there's something wrong with them because we don't go along with all the sin and salvation bullshit.

I don't expect the whole world to give up praying or saying grace around my son - but within his own FAMILY I don't think it's too much to ask that people wait until he's a little older before piling this crap on. Right now he thinks Batman and Darth Vader and Santa Claus are real, because he's 3. All I've ever asked is that people in the family wait until he understands the difference between real life and make-believe before they pitch the whole Jesus thing to him.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
15-12-2014, 04:56 PM
RE: Sick of the Double Standard
I don’t have kids but the very issue you describe happened between one of my brothers and our parents. His response after a second warning was ignored was to stop taking them to granny’s house.

After much gnashing of teeth, tears and all around horrible feelings my parent’s promised to stop with the baby jeebus thing.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like Full Circle's post
15-12-2014, 06:31 PM
RE: Sick of the Double Standard
(15-12-2014 03:58 PM)Mr. Boston Wrote:  ...and lo and behold my mother's on Facebook telling the world how the two boys (age 4 and 3) told her all about the Baby Jesus and Mary after watching The Little Drummer Boy while the cookies were baking...
They told her, or she told them?

You could ask your mother to respect your wishes and not discuss religion with your children,

Or

You could prepare your children by making them aware that various people have various beliefs.


I’ve been discussing with my 5 year old how to tell if something is real or not. I’ve suggested if magic is involved then it probably isn’t real. Now she tells me the Elsa isn’t real because she has magic, she also tells me that fairies aren’t real because they have magic. We haven’t specifically discussed Jesus (I don’t live in a particularly religious country) but I’m sure sooner or later someone is going to tell her the Good News about Jesus and his incredible walking on water, water into wine, baptism by water, multiplying fish, healing the sick, coming back from the dead stories.
I’ve also discussed death with her. Told her that we just go to sleep and never wake up. We have both looked at dead animals and insects together, poked them, prodded them and concluded that they aren’t going to wake up.

At school they have taught her a song. I am not sure exactly how it goes but it is something like.
“Some people celebrate Hanukkah,
Some people celebrate Ramadan,
Some people celebrate Christmas,
Some people celebrate Solstice…”

Fighting with your mother might just create tension between you. And you can’t keep your kids in a bubble, so perhaps best to prepare them rather than isolate or insulate.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
15-12-2014, 07:13 PM
RE: Sick of the Double Standard
So, your mother showed them a religious video and then discussed it despite knowing you are raising them secular? Full Circle's brother had the right idea. Tell her never again. If she "slips" maybe a final warning.
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
16-12-2014, 05:49 AM
RE: Sick of the Double Standard
First of all:

(15-12-2014 03:58 PM)Mr. Boston Wrote:  Can you imagine the fallout if I hosted a cookie-day at my place and had all my son's little school friends over and we watched Cosmos and made rocket ship cookies...

Best cookie day ever. I'd probably stick to Bill Nye or Magic School Bus though. You could have a "Science" cookie day once a month and move up to the big bang... start with Dinosaurs. I never truly grew out of my dinosaur stage. Save Cosmos for the last day. But that's a hypothetical that probably won't be opened by anyone.

On a more serious note:

You can always try to teach your kid about the Invisible Pink Unicorn (with incentive to disprove it). You will, of course, have to learn the Invisible Pink Unicorn apologetics if you choose that route. But it's a good place to start. I don't know the recommended age though. There is also "Dragon in the garage."

Knights who say NI!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: