Sing Christian Song at Grandmother's Funeral??
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05-06-2015, 02:46 PM
Sing Christian Song at Grandmother's Funeral??
My grandmother recently passed, which we had expected for some time. I've been singing religious songs at Christian family member's funerals for the past couple of years, because the deceased or other family members had requested it. At those times, most of the people in attendance were not aware of the extent of my atheism, though they knew that I wasn't going to church anymore. More recently, however, I have been much more open about the fact that I am no longer Christian. Even though it is my grandmother who requested that I sing at her funeral, I think a lot of people will not be happy that me--the staunch atheist--would sing a Christian song in a church no less. I was thinking of doing an inspirational and religiously ambiguous song like You Raise Me Up, but my parents are insistent that I do one of several religious songs. I don't want to bring up any discussion of my non-belief at this sensitive time, and I'm considering just doing what they want. However, I know that many people will be none too pleased seeing me get up on stage and sing in a Baptist church. What should I do???
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05-06-2015, 02:49 PM
RE: Sing Christian Song at Grandmother's Funeral??
Tough call.

Funerals are for the living.

If the living have issues with you singing, that's their problem.

If you'd like to sing -- pick out an appropriate secular song, and then they've got nothing to bitch about...

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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05-06-2015, 02:51 PM
RE: Sing Christian Song at Grandmother's Funeral??
Only you can decide. I understand the conundrum though. I am partially out as a atheist and I still play on our church's worship team. You have to look at your own comfort level. At this point don't worry about what others will think. If you feel okay doing it, then go ahead. If you feel like you'll be cringing with every word you sing then pass and tell them you just can't do it.

**Crickets** -- God
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05-06-2015, 02:53 PM
RE: Sing Christian Song at Grandmother's Funeral??
If it were me, I would honor your grandmother's wishes and sing the songs she wanted you to sing. Maybe you could make a compromise with your parents and sing a few Christian songs and one or two songs that you would like to sing. If anyone says anything just tell them you were singing the (Christian) songs your parents requested and were honoring their wishes.

I am so sorry for your lossHug

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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05-06-2015, 02:55 PM
RE: Sing Christian Song at Grandmother's Funeral??
(05-06-2015 02:49 PM)onlinebiker Wrote:  Tough call.

Funerals are for the living.

If the living have issues with you singing, that's their problem.

If you'd like to sing -- pick out an appropriate secular song, and then they've got nothing to bitch about...

They are for the living--but they are also about honoring (the wishes) of those who have passed on.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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05-06-2015, 03:31 PM
RE: Sing Christian Song at Grandmother's Funeral??
Your grandma likely grew up with these songs the way you grew up with whatever music you listened to as teen.

Look at it as music and culture of the times.

You can't change the past, and your gram is very much a part of the past. There is no point to make here.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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05-06-2015, 03:38 PM
RE: Sing Christian Song at Grandmother's Funeral??
Claim laryngitis. Drinking Beverage

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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05-06-2015, 04:57 PM
RE: Sing Christian Song at Grandmother's Funeral??
I have no problem personally with singing along to religious tunes for events like this.
It doesn't mean you have lost any atheistic integrity or anything. It is a service to honour the life of a loved one, regardless of what ceremony is attached.

I sung my lungs out at my Nan's funeral. Not because I was worried what people would think if I didn't sing or because I thought there may be a chance she could be 'looking down' on me, but because, damnit, she was a cool gal for her age and I know she would have got a kick out of hearing my tone deaf warblings. And that thought cheersd me up a bit on an otherwise sad day.

Try to look past the symbolism of the ceremony and take each part of it for your own meanings and if anyone takes offence because you are a non believer, then point out that you are trying to honour your loved ones wishes. Smile

"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too"? - Douglas Adams Bechased
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05-06-2015, 05:04 PM
RE: Sing Christian Song at Grandmother's Funeral??
I am sorry for your loss.

Honor your grandmother's wishes...what other people think is not important. This isn't about them.

Hugs.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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05-06-2015, 05:08 PM
RE: Sing Christian Song at Grandmother's Funeral??
(05-06-2015 02:46 PM)lovehumanitynotinsanity Wrote:  My grandmother recently passed, which we had expected for some time. I've been singing religious songs at Christian family member's funerals for the past couple of years, because the deceased or other family members had requested it. At those times, most of the people in attendance were not aware of the extent of my atheism, though they knew that I wasn't going to church anymore. More recently, however, I have been much more open about the fact that I am no longer Christian. Even though it is my grandmother who requested that I sing at her funeral, I think a lot of people will not be happy that me--the staunch atheist--would sing a Christian song in a church no less. I was thinking of doing an inspirational and religiously ambiguous song like You Raise Me Up, but my parents are insistent that I do one of several religious songs. I don't want to bring up any discussion of my non-belief at this sensitive time, and I'm considering just doing what they want. However, I know that many people will be none too pleased seeing me get up on stage and sing in a Baptist church. What should I do???
I think you should sing a song that your grandmother loved. If that means a religious song, that's fine. I don't know if your parents are the ones who should be selecting what song you should sing, though.
Singers sing songs whose texts they don't necessarily personally agree with all the time, so even if you are singing a religious song, that's not necessarily a problem. I am an atheist who sings for a Christmas carol company--great money during the holidays, and also quite a few atheist singers on the payroll!
If your non-belief comes up (which it shouldn't, if the people at the funeral have good manners), IMO the best thing to do is say that your tribute to your grandmother is heartfelt, and you were happy to be able to sing one of her favorite songs. I would think that most of the audience would be more happy to hear good singing than worried about the belief status of the singer.
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