Single Mom, New Atheist
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07-10-2012, 01:31 AM
Single Mom, New Atheist
After spending my life as a going-through-the-motions Christian, I became an atheist about 3 months ago. No one in my family knows yet. I'm a single mother who lives alone with her daughter.

My daughter is 12 1/2. I'm struggling with how to tell her. I feel she is old enough to know. I just don't know how to bring it up. I don't think she has ever consider that there may not be a God so I expect her to be shocked.

My actual family I am not worried about. I am very close with my ex-inlaws who are devote Christians. I don't have a Dad, I consider my ex-father in law my Dad, my ex-mother in law my Mom, so you can see why I am worried about telling them.

I don't think they would disown me but I know it's going to hurt them so I am not looking forward to it. I know they will also be worried about my daughter.

Another worry I have is how I will be viewed in the community. I moved back to my hometown and the only friends I have here are Christian.

How do I find people like me and how should I go about telling my family? Slowly, dropping little hints along the way or at once like ripping off a band aid?
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07-10-2012, 05:58 AM
RE: Single Mom, New Atheist
To get help or to meet people in your situation, you only need to post here. We all have had problems being atheists, and we all know how you feel.

Here is where you can go to discuss your problems specifically, though. We are all ears. Big Grin Good luck!

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07-10-2012, 06:02 AM
RE: Single Mom, New Atheist
Welcome aboard Smile

" Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous."
David Hume
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07-10-2012, 07:30 AM
Single Mom, New Atheist
Welcome. Smile
I hope you're wearing your shit-kickers. The BS can get a little deep in here sometimes. And I'm sorry about the mess. We've asked the teens to pick up around here, but they're an unruly lot of filthy heathen so I'm sure you know how well that went over. Undecided

"All that is necessary for the triumph of Calvinism is that good Atheists do nothing." ~Eric Oh My
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07-10-2012, 07:35 AM
Single Mom, New Atheist
As far as finding people who think like yourself, many are finding this place to be a great community for support and laughs and the occasional flying off the handle over something that really isn't a big deal.

You may also look at MeetUp.com for Freethinking or Atheist groups in your area. There are quite a few around where I live, I'm just too introverted to go. Also, RecoveringFromReligion.com has a short list of groups around the country, but last I looked, there weren't very many.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of Calvinism is that good Atheists do nothing." ~Eric Oh My
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07-10-2012, 12:57 PM (This post was last modified: 07-10-2012 03:09 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Single Mom, New Atheist
(07-10-2012 01:31 AM)kpax Wrote:  I am very close with my ex-inlaws who are devote Christians. I don't have a Dad, I consider my ex-father in law my Dad, my ex-mother in law my Mom, so you can see why I am worried about telling them.

Then don't tell them. Your metaphysics is your business. Atheism don't need proselytization, it happens naturally.

As for your daughter, it's your call. I waited until my kids asked me what my metaphysics were before I told them that any promise of a postmortem preservation of identity was utterly unimaginable incomprehensible bullshit. (They all asked in their early-to-mid teens.) But that's due mainly because of a promise I made to the Catholic Church many decades ago not to interfere with their religious upbringing so this atheist could be married to a then devout Catholic in a Catholic Church by a priest.

I am us and we is me. ... bitches.
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07-10-2012, 04:22 PM
RE: Single Mom, New Atheist
(07-10-2012 01:31 AM)kpax Wrote:  After spending my life as a going-through-the-motions Christian, I became an atheist about 3 months ago. No one in my family knows yet. I'm a single mother who lives alone with her daughter.

My daughter is 12 1/2. I'm struggling with how to tell her. I feel she is old enough to know. I just don't know how to bring it up. I don't think she has ever consider that there may not be a God so I expect her to be shocked.

My actual family I am not worried about. I am very close with my ex-inlaws who are devote Christians. I don't have a Dad, I consider my ex-father in law my Dad, my ex-mother in law my Mom, so you can see why I am worried about telling them.

I don't think they would disown me but I know it's going to hurt them so I am not looking forward to it. I know they will also be worried about my daughter.

Another worry I have is how I will be viewed in the community. I moved back to my hometown and the only friends I have here are Christian.

How do I find people like me and how should I go about telling my family? Slowly, dropping little hints along the way or at once like ripping off a band aid?

Welcome and Goodluck.
I wouldn't recommend the band aid approach if you are feeling a bit frail.
Play it by ear, remembering that atheists can be quite decent people who just don't believe in a Sky Daddy.
As for all those Christian folk, there is nothing wrong with communal work etc if you can keep all the spiritual hype to a minimum.Wink
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07-10-2012, 04:28 PM
RE: Single Mom, New Atheist
Why do they have to know? What are you trying to accomplish by telling them?

Yor daughter, now that's another story.

Does she go to church?

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Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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07-10-2012, 04:57 PM
RE: Single Mom, New Atheist
Welcome.

I'm a lifelong atheist and some relatives still haven't figured this out. In some cases, I don't think it's worthwhile to bring it up. I talk about it when asked about religious things, or when asked if I go to church, or if I'll go to church with whomever. And I'm a person who really isn't fond of organized religion, at all. I just think you should choose your battles.

As for your daughter, I don't know if you need to bring it up now, but it'll come up on its own someday. I always think honesty is the best policy when it comes to these things. People act like discussing atheism with children is harmful to them, but I think it's harmful to indoctrinate, tell them what to think, and not let them come to their own conclusions. All children out in the real world will eventually figure out that there are many religions out there, many types of believers, and many who don't believe at all or aren't sure.
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07-10-2012, 09:10 PM (This post was last modified: 08-10-2012 06:29 AM by Seasbury.)
RE: Single Mom, New Atheist
Kpax - lots of good advice provided.

From one apostate to another, I fully understand the desire to tell everyone about your new liberation. It is after, liberating to tell people Smile

At the same time, if you feel your family and or friends will not take the news well, and that can harm your relationships with them, just don't bring it up. Not saying you should continue going through the motions of your former belief...the only reason you should ever feel the need to tell them is if they flat out ask you - and even then, you can always reply your religious views are very personal and none of their business (if you so desire...).

If and when your daughter asks for your views, you can and should be honest with her. Maybe not "soul baring" honest (forgive the pun), but along the lines of people everywhere hold many different beliefs - they can't all be right, but they can all be wrong. Many people choose NOT to believe and it's a choice she should make based on her own fact searching Smile. Good luck!

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