Slamming my head against a table
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31-07-2013, 05:57 PM
RE: Slamming my head against a table
(31-07-2013 05:54 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  Ah, he tries. And it helps. I appreciate it a lot.

Well that's good. Hug

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31-07-2013, 05:59 PM
RE: Slamming my head against a table
(31-07-2013 05:57 PM)Logica Humano Wrote:  
(31-07-2013 05:54 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  Ah, he tries. And it helps. I appreciate it a lot.

Well that's good. Hug

Hug
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31-07-2013, 06:17 PM
RE: Slamming my head against a table
(31-07-2013 05:43 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  
(31-07-2013 05:31 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  No honey it's being passive aggressive. I don't know your mom so I can't make a judgment. We parents often say things we shouldn't -- just out of general frustration or feeling hopeless. We become stuck and it's like we can't move (it's never just flight or fight -- sometimes its just stay in place).

And sometimes we even make grave errors because we just don't want drama and by drama I don't mean kids or things like that -- more like the life drama in general. We like it when things just chug along...the potholes of parenthood just suck.

There are also things about being a parent (good or bad) that you just can't fathom until you are one. I know I saw a lot one way when I was like 18 and younger that today I do see a whole lot differently. There are things that have taken me a lifetime to realize.

I wish I was there -- I'd take you shopping.

Hug

My mom is very passive aggressive and seemingly bipolar at times too. I find myself having to tiptoe around her and ignore all of the uncalled for things she says out of stress, even when they're being spit directly in my face. She complains about us being here, and then turns around and confides that she's not looking forward to me moving out at any soon time. She kicked me out of the house around January, put my things in white trash bags and threw them outside in the yard. My father-figure picked me up and I stayed with a friend for about a month. My mom continuously texted me threats for weeks, reporting me as a runaway (but she didn't know where I was staying at the time) then one day shows up at my school with an officer cry, pulls me out of class and apologizes to me. After that I moved back in, but she was still disrespectful. She'd ripped belongings of mine apart and threw away things that meant a lot to me. Her reactions make me afraid to ask questions, and one day, whether it be in months of years, I'll have to make the decision to move out, and I fear her reaction. If I take a year off before college to find a job and work up for a car, I'll probably be "living" at home- the reality of me actually staying there is slight, but I mean legally living. To go to college, I'll need a car, but I won't have one after high school because I have to buy one myself. But she makes it so frustrating to even find a job, I don't know how I'm supposed to do anything myself if she's 1) not going to help me at all and 2) going to criticize and react horrifyingly to everything.

Oh honey I'm sorry. That's just awful and wrong of your mom on so many levels. You are completely justified in feeling confused by her -- I'm confused by her as well. She might have some sort of mental illness thing that's going on -- but that's on her. Not you. Don't let what she does, say or anything derail you and your future. Go to college (even out of state). Many colleges allow students to work on campus to defer costs. Student loans, scholarships, grants...Your mom will have to help fill out those forms -- it sounds like it won't be easy to get her to do it -- just keep at it. Don't let her negativity derail or impede you in anyway.

However you can do it -- try to make it happen. Heart
When school starts talk to your counselor about college (especially if your a senior but even if your a junior). Don't wait -- be proactive.


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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31-07-2013, 10:54 PM
RE: Slamming my head against a table
(31-07-2013 05:43 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  Ily Hugshie. Skype tonight if you're free and mentally prepared for my venting.

Well, as we're in the PI&S section and I'm expected to be nice to you in here .............

Ily too Ferdy. Hug

Best and worst of Ferdinand .....
Best
Ferdinand: We don't really say 'theist' in Alabama. Here, you're either a Christian, or you're from Afghanistan and we fucking hate you.
Worst
Ferdinand: Everyone from British is so, like, fucking retarded.
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09-08-2013, 08:18 AM
RE: Slamming my head against a table
Ferdy, just wanted you to know that you are not alone in your experience with your mom. Mine made sure to tell me repeatedly that she never wanted kids (she forever regaled me with the story of how, when she was pregnant with me, folks would ask her whether she was hoping for a boy or a girl and she replied with "Actually I'd rather have a penguin" - I mean, WTF?) and that she'd settled for my father.

She'd yell at us (my brother and I) until we retreated to our rooms and then would come back later, bawling and squalling, saying that she just loved us so much. Apparently, everything she did - the screaming, the never being happy with anything I did, isolating me from my peers, etc. - was just because "she loved us so much". It was very hurtful and confusing.

Anyway, just wanted you to know that I feel your pain. Now that I've moved further away from my mom (was living practically next door for a number of years) it's gotten much better.

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09-08-2013, 09:38 AM
RE: Slamming my head against a table
(09-08-2013 08:18 AM)Escape Artist Wrote:  She'd yell at us (my brother and I) until we retreated to our rooms and then would come back later, bawling and squalling, saying that she just loved us so much. Apparently, everything she did - the screaming, the never being happy with anything I did, isolating me from my peers, etc. - was just because "she loved us so much". It was very hurtful and confusing.

Well, that's my mother summed up in one paragraph. To this fucking day. Undecided

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09-08-2013, 11:33 AM
RE: Slamming my head against a table
(09-08-2013 09:38 AM)Logica Humano Wrote:  
(09-08-2013 08:18 AM)Escape Artist Wrote:  She'd yell at us (my brother and I) until we retreated to our rooms and then would come back later, bawling and squalling, saying that she just loved us so much. Apparently, everything she did - the screaming, the never being happy with anything I did, isolating me from my peers, etc. - was just because "she loved us so much". It was very hurtful and confusing.

Well, that's my mother summed up in one paragraph. To this fucking day. Undecided

I'm sorry to hear that. One mother like mine is more than enough. To hear that there are others out there like her just sucks. The yelling from mine has stopped now that I've gotten older and out of the house, but the manipulation never stops. She still tries that shit on me.

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09-08-2013, 12:03 PM
RE: Slamming my head against a table
(09-08-2013 11:33 AM)Escape Artist Wrote:  
(09-08-2013 09:38 AM)Logica Humano Wrote:  Well, that's my mother summed up in one paragraph. To this fucking day. Undecided

I'm sorry to hear that. One mother like mine is more than enough. To hear that there are others out there like her just sucks. The yelling from mine has stopped now that I've gotten older and out of the house, but the manipulation never stops. She still tries that shit on me.

My mom is simply really passive aggressive. She yells to release her stress on us and eventually buries my younger sister and I under all of these burdens, like we weren't even supposed to exist sometimes.
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09-08-2013, 12:33 PM
RE: Slamming my head against a table
(31-07-2013 05:19 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  My mom's car broke down today, and it'll be a week before it's fixed. She's a single mother and every day of work she misses hurts us a lot. It also means I'll be late getting a lot of my school supplies, I still have to pay for my graduation pictures, and the school always starts the year off with a bunch of necessary, annoying fees. My mom also has to buy a lot for my little sister and I can tell she's stressed (Again, wishing I had a job so I could buy what I need for myself and pitch in for my sister too to help my mom out. My father-like-figure is offering to help out though.)

However, something my mom said earlier really bothered me and pissed me off. She kept complaining that her life would be so much easier without kids. She even said something about adoption. Wow. All I could really say was a sarcastic "Thanks." and I pointed out to her that she literally sounded like she didn't want us. Then she got all defensive and starts screaming at me "If you leave you're a runaway" blah blah blah. I never said anything about running away. She said "If we found somebody to adopt you that'd be helpful" and I replied "So you're saying you don't even want us."

Man if this is just typical-parenting-stress, it's still a little uncalled for and hurtful.

Dodgy

Take your moms car when it's fixed and drive it through a mall. A good way to cool down your anger against your mom AND society



That should be suitable revenge when you live alone with a drivers licence

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09-08-2013, 12:52 PM
RE: Slamming my head against a table
(09-08-2013 12:03 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  My mom is simply really passive aggressive. She yells to release her stress on us and eventually buries my younger sister and I under all of these burdens, like we weren't even supposed to exist sometimes.

Are you going to find a way out of it? One more year and you will legally be able to tell your mom to fuck herself.

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